By Frances Crusoe
As a single Christian woman, not many days go by that I am not reminded of the fact that I am single. From late night conversations with friends, to worried “when are you going to find a man” looks from family members, to the never ending engagement announcements, the topic of marriage is never far off. I don't spend time putting together my wedding Pinterest boards, dreaming about the perfect wedding day, or constantly revising a “list” of qualifications for my future husband to possess. Instead, I spend my days serving others and pursuing God's will for my life. I am more fulfilled and content in my single days than I could have ever imagined. I have traveled internationally on missions trips, ministered to people in ways that I never would have imagined, and have had the most life changing encounters with God during this season. I learned that the more time I spend doing God's will, the less time I have to worry about my relationship status.
I must admit that I have not always been this confident or content in my relationship with God and His promises for me. I am a single mother of two wonderful boys, which at times, has carried the social stigma of being less than; a statistic; damaged goods. I have never lacked attention from men for reasons other than marriage so for a long time, I never thought that marriage would be in my future. Insecurities, loneliness, and carnal desires often keep single mothers bound to the lie that we do not deserve any more that what we settle for. We buy into the lie that single mothers shouldn't expect a man to want to take care of someone else's child, let alone marry their mother. We should have made better choices and not had children out of wedlock. We sometimes go from one bad relationship to the next, hoping that this one will be okay being boyfriend and daddy. In some instances, I settled for the idea of being grateful for whoever thought enough of me to keep me around, even if they were not looking to play daddy.
It wasn't until I stopped searching for love and a makeshift father in men that I was truly able to accept the radical love and affection from Jesus Christ. Even when I was more in love with sin than my Savior, He still considered me worthy to be pursued. My past did not matter to Him and it brought Him pleasure to take on my sins, my hurts, and my shame. Allowing Christ to do a miraculous work in me helped me to put my complete trust in Him, even for marriage. God's word says in Psalm 37:4 to “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” That promise does not end with single mothers.
I pray that any woman, who made the brave decision to bring a life into this world, without a husband by her side, understands that God has not overlooked her. You are not your past, the labels you have worn or the lies you have believed. You are loved, desired, and worth Christ dying for. You are worthy of His absolute best for your life and His only request is that you trust Him with your life and your heart. Love, nurture, and raise your children in the ways of Christ; continue to delight yourself in Him. There will be stressful days, lonely nights, and tearful prayers, but hold His promised in your heart. God is the author of love, life and all things good, so be patient and allow Him to write your happily ever after.
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