When You Can't

I’ve noticed as I get wiser (aka older) my resolutions every New Year get a bit more realistic (aka non existent). In past years, I’ve learned great intentions don’t usually equal great results. I’ve tried dabbling with a wide array of self improvement goals in year’s past-- lose weight, think of others more then myself, pray harder, love without conditions, forgive freely, be more organized-- the list could go on. I tried, I really, really did. But to be honest I haven’t succeeded with too many of these lofty goals.

I have failed so often at these so-called resolutions that, like many people, I don’t even make them any more. Admittedly, I use the “New Year motivation” to accomplish a few necessary projects, but, rarely do I make goals for any lasting changes.

During my morning quiet time as I read the story of the centurion in Matthew Chapter 8, the Lord revealed something to my heart that was quite surprising. Stunned, I sat there-- reflecting for a few moments on the audacious faith of this soldier.

When did I stop believing GOD is capable?

Don’t get me wrong. I believe the Bible, the miracles of the Old Testament, the truth of God’s character, the bold and passionate love of Jesus-- the things I understand and even those I cannot-- all of it. Yet, I often dumb down God’s power in my life.

In Matthew Chapter 8:5-13, the centurion (roman soldier) asks Jesus to heal his paralyzed servant. Jesus offers to come to His house to heal his servant and the centurion declines because he knows he is unworthy. The centurion then goes on to tell Jesus that he believes all Jesus needs to do is speak the healing and it will happen. The soldier’s response to Jesus’ offers to come touch his servant is quite shocking. The centurion’s response is evidence that not only does he believe Jesus can heal him-- but he also believes his servant can be healed from a distance without any physical contact. Healed-- with just a word. What an ambitious faith!

The truth I must settle in my heart is that God’s ability to do anything exceeds my ability to ask for anything.

In Matthew Henry’s commentary he states, “Observe his faith. The more humility, the more faith, the more faith, the more diffident (un-confident) we are of ourselves and the stronger we will be in our confidence in Jesus Christ.”

Our God isn’t restrained within the realm of probability or even possibility. He can do anything, not just anything, but more of “anything” then we can even possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20). Immeasurably more. You can’t wrap your head around God’s ability--don’t try to.

I hope this story encourages you as it has me to live with a bold faith this year. May you know that He is more than capable! What you can’t do it in your most fervent efforts; He can without even breaking a sweat. God isn’t surprised by your needs and requests. He loves His children compassionately and rewards those who express reckless faith in His ability. As God’s children, you and I are far more than “works in progress.” We are masterpieces progressing in this walk of faith by the power and grace of an all-powerful God. Rely daily on the only One who CAN do what we CAN’T.

About the Author :

Christina Stolaas is a 30 year old who is addicted to Jesus, Coffee, and Running. She's a mom to four energetic kids who she adores, and wife to one wonderful husband of almost 10 years. Christina is a sunday school teacher to youth, is actively involved in womens ministry and uses her gift of writing wherever God opens the doors! She is passionate about seeing God redeem our mess into a message of hope to others.

Connect with her on :

The Uninvited Guest

It’s the time of the year where we count our blessings. Every November I am reminded of the abundance in my life. I am astonished by God’s goodness and make a conscious effort to be thankful for the things I take for granted-- heat in the winter, gas money to run errands, a dishwasher and washing machine just to name a few. You know, the simple “daily things” that I often mistakingly view as an entitlement-- rather then a gift.

Even with the overflowing gratitude of my heart, at times I have struggled with a quiet discontent, I call it, “the uninvited guest.” I know we aren’t supposed to talk about this, but can I just be real for a moment? For many, the holidays are disillusioning at best, painful at worst. We count our blessings, but we also count the things that seem to be missing. If you’re on facebook or Pinterest. the reminders of “more and better” are everywhere-- from perfectly gourmet recipes, to colorful tables, to happy drama free happy families-- we long for perfection and ease on the day when we are supposed to be most content with “whatever we have.”

Our hearts are full, and yet sometimes the inconsolable ache of our human condition (the uninvited guest) is overwhelming. For some, it’s an empty seat around the dining table; you miss the laughter and joy of a loved one that passed away and traditions just aren’t the same without them. Or maybe, divorce or estranged family relationships is the source of the strangely quiet house. For others, the ache stems from unfulfilled longings and the reality that another year has passed with delayed dreams.

Sometimes, we have prayers that go seemingly unanswered for weeks, months, or even years. We cry out, beg and plead with God for that new job, new relationship, or new possession. We hope against the odds for physical healing, restored relationships, or guidance. We get frustrated when our sincere requests are only compensated with “silence” from God.

The inconsolable ache is present in varying degrees in every single one of us. Even in the grandest, most joyous moments of life, we are aware that something here on earth is amiss. The evidence is most obviously displayed when you consider the emptiness that many millionaires, A list celebrities and professional athletes share.. Even with the ability to have everything their heart desires, their weary souls find no rest and security.

I have experienced the nagging presence of the ache, but I have also joyfully experienced the only remedy for it. In my seasons of desperation I have learned that the many prayers that seemed unanswered, were actually answered with the greatest gift of all: God’ sustaining presence.

Quite simply, God’s presence with me has been enough. Those aren’t cheap words. They are words that I have learned in the darkness-- when I felt alone, abandoned, and forgotten. They are words I have learned when I have struggled to hold on to hope in circumstances that seemed unending. Those words were learned during times when I did’t get what I desired and God didn’t solve my problem like I had anticipated. Truthfully, the inner peace derived from God’s presence has guarded my heart while facing a generous amount of deferred dreams and crushed plans.

In my life the disappointment and the ache of longing have both fueled my dependence on the only One who fulfills. If you’re struggling this year, please know, it isn’t ungrateful or disrespectful to voice the deepest desires of your heart to God. Tell Him what you’re feeling and ask Him for his help in realizing contentment that comes when you trust Him to be enough. God’s presence is much more of a gift then any of his “presents.” As a child of God one of the most incredible privileges is the discovery that in those rare moments when you have “nothing else” you recognize that He is unfathomably more then you could ever need.

[photo credit, Mathijs Delvas]

About the Author :

Christina Stolaas is a 30 year old who is addicted to Jesus, Coffee, and Running. She's a mom to four energetic kids who she adores, and wife to one wonderful husband of almost 10 years. Christina is a sunday school teacher to youth, is actively involved in womens ministry and uses her gift of writing wherever God opens the doors! She is passionate about seeing God redeem our mess into a message of hope to others.

Connect with her on :

Step Out of the Traffic

I am one of those people who thrives being relatively self sufficient. I like to control things. When somethings wrong, I often instantaneously provide a remedy.  I am a “doer.” I’ve never been able to sit still, and if I could, I’m not sure I’d actually want to. I often live my life with the unspoken rule, if things aren’t going as expected, I just need to work harder. 

There is nothing wrong with a superior work ethic and driving will to succeed, in fact, both are admirable character traits that I believe God honors. I am reminded though, that when these strong qualities are not continually submitted to the Lord, they will cause me to miss the beauty of God working on my behalf. In all of my attempts to control, fix, and plan, my energy is often so consumed in the hugeness of my problems that I can easily forget the power of the huge God I serve. 

One of the things I love most about the Psalms is that though David was a brave, fierce and capable warrior, His reliance on God’s power is the prevailing theme. Psalms 46 is one of my favorite passages because in the middle of unthinkable chaos David pens “Be Still and Know that I am God.” (vs 10) David describes a total Armageddon like situation: the earth giving way, mountains falling into the sea, mountains quaking with the roar of waters, nations in uproar ad kingdoms falling. Can you imagine anything more terrifying?

I don’t know about you, but in recent years I have found myself in some pretty hopelessly large situations that have also felt “Armageddon like.” At the time it felt like my world was literally collapsing. I’d like to say I had the still, quiet, and trusting heart of David, but honestly, in chaotic situations I often do the opposite. I am stressed. Anxious and frightened. I run around in frenzied desperation doing anything and everything I can to hold together and take on things that I was never designed to do. Have you been there?

I believe applying the truth of this Psalms can revolutionize the way we tackle life's problems. I love the way the message version of the Bible paraphrases Ps 46:10: Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Step out of the traffic! Another version of this text says “cease striving.” Take a breather. Rest first in the knowledge of WHO God is. Don’t be so quick in running to solve problems that you miss His instructions. Sometimes God commands ppl to fight, work, move, and go forth with courage as in Joshua 1:9. Other times, as Exodus 14:4 states, we need to only be still because God will fight for us. 

When we step out of the chaotic problems of life and choose to acknowledge the bigness of our God everything falls into proper context. The tendency to freak out is minimized. We receive clarity and direction, and essential marching orders from our all knowing Father. 

Photo: Angelo Gonzalez, Creative Commons]

Christina Stolaas is a 30 year old who is addicted to Jesus, Coffee, and Running. She's a mom to four energetic kids who she adores, and wife to one wonderful husband of almost 10 years! Christina is a sunday school teacher to youth, is actively involved in womens ministry and uses her gift of writing wherever God opens the doors! She is passionate about seeing God redeem our mess into a message of hope to others.

Tattoo It On Your Hand

We’ve all had seasons of life where it feels like we are being tested. Though mentally, physically, and spiritually drained an avalanche of trouble continues to freely fall. We say, “When it rains, it pours,” and brace ourselves the best we can and hope for an end.

Have you been there recently? I have. When circumstances get difficult it is tempting to take our eyes off Jesus and instead rely on logic, emotions, or even advice from friends. Often difficult situations scream at us and push us into an instant irrational panic mode. Though such a response is understandable, the truth is, God desires for us to stay level headed even when our world turns upside down.

As Christians we should find our security in God alone, for with God we can face any circumstance with the knowledge that: God is always working for our good (Romans 8:28), He will never leave us alone and will help us (Is 41:10) , He will direct and guide us. (Prov 3:6). God’s promises are true and the knowledge of them can provide comfort through the fiercest of storms. The problem is, if we do not hide God’s word in our heart through memorization, we often don’t have these words of comfort and wisdom when we need them most.

This last week I had a “moment.” Things were not going in my favor, and honestly, life just knocked the wind out of me. I have many verses memorized that I rely and bank on during these types of days, but I needed something prominent to remind me to keep an eternal perspective. So... I gave myself a hand tattoo that reflected what I needed my heart to so desperately remember.

“Make Jesus happy, everything else is TEMPORARY.”

My life situations were a mess, but in comparison to pursuing a right relationship with God, the messes were temporary. In the long run where I live, what’s in my bank account, who my friends are, what people think of me and what my job is-- do not matter. Even though all those things dominate the majority of my time right now-- they are temporary things. What matters most, in each and every situation is so ridiculously simple, yet, so terribly hard to zero in when temptations and distractions arise.

So, if you’re going through a season, let me encourage you to tattoo the truth on your hand. Remember, hardships will come, and eventually, they will pass. But, Jesus remains the same, today, yesterday and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Stay focused.





Christina Stolaas is a 30 year old who is addicted to Jesus, Coffee, and Running. She's a mom to four energetic kids who she adores, and wife to one wonderful husband of almost 10 years! Christina is a sunday school teacher to youth, is actively involved in womens ministry and uses her gift of writing wherever God opens the doors! She is passionate about seeing God redeem our mess into a message of hope to others.

Who Do you Call Father?

Reminders that Father’s Day is almost here can be found everywhere. At the grocery, the mall, ads on the radio, and even highway billboards have suggestions to aide us in choosing an ideal gift for dad. But, the truth is, fathers day isn’t an ideal holiday for some (many) people. I used to be one of those people.

Every year when the month of June came I’d count down the days till the weekend passed. While others celebrated the blessing they had in great Fathers, I suffered silently with the pain my dad had caused me. Every year in the grocery store I’d pass the card aisles littered with woman picking up card after card, choosing the perfect message for dad. Every year, I felt that same emptiness-- that same longing for what I was sure I would never get the privilege of experiencing.

I grew up in the church and had always heard of God referred to with many names: King of Kings, Savior, Jesus, Lord, Almighty God, Creator, and Father God to name a few. All of these names were frequently used in praise songs and prayer, and respectively all but one conjured up the same image of God in my head. Worthy to be worshipped and full of immeasurable power, which are, quite obviously inherent to the core of who God is. But, “Father” never seemed to fit with the other names because it implied an intimacy that didn’t seem reasonable for such a powerful deity.

For many years, I ignored the reference of God as father. I had a detestable relationship with my earthly father, so referring to God in similar terms was actually more painful then helpful. Though I had surrendered my life to God, I struggled with feeling close to Him. I understood the power and holiness of God, but couldn’t understand the way God wanted to relate to me personally. I had intentionally chosen to guard my heart and avoid entertaining the persistent longings for fatherly love.

One day I stumbled upon a verse that rocked my world spiritually.

Matthew 23:9

And do not call anyone on earth “father.” For you have one father, and He is in heaven.

When I read this passage and began to meditate on it, I realized how hard my heart had become. This verse is shocking and possibly even angering if taken literally. But, I think the point is, God intends to shatter our view of fathers (even great ones) when we realize the privilege of our relationship with Him. The presence of sin in our world has tainted every relationship; no child has the perfect father. Each of us have grown up with some disappointing memories of dad and some longings or needs that weren’t met. Though for some these shortcomings were minimal, for others, they were monumental.

When God says to call him “Abba Father” He is literally telling us to call Him “daddy.” The intimacy described in this term is intentional. God wants us to know Him not just as our creator or originator, but more importantly, as a perfect dad. It is God who treasures us and cherishes us for our uniqueness more then any other. He wants us to realize it is He who provides, protects and leads freely.

The intensified longing little girls have for a daddy was placed in each of us by our perfect father. It’s meant to draw us to Him closely in a relationship that is pure and a love that is relentless and unconditional.

Maybe it’s taken you a while to embrace God as father because of what that word means to you, but, the truth is, God is nothing like an earthly dad. God doesn’t give you attention when you behave, and avoid you during meltdowns. You have his undivided attention every minute of the day! God isn’t proud of you when you bring home all A’s on a report card and disappointed when your achievements are just “average.” He loves you infinitely just the way you are. He doesn’t have a prefabricated list of what you must be in life, what hobby you must pursue, or career path you must take to earn His approval. The truth is, you are securely His daughter when you make great decisions and securely His when you could have made better ones.

It’s simple, God’s love for us is our birthright. God loves you and I as daughters not because of what we do, but because of who we are. Romans 8:15-17 tells us that God chose us to be his heirs, we are adopted as daughters of the king! As I studied the passages about God being our father I realized this truth I’d like to challenge you with. Though as a believer you are securely His, you must choose to enjoy the privilege of calling Him “abba father.” So today, whether you had an amazing dad or a lousy one, remember you have a PERFECT FATHER.



Written by Christina Stolaas

Whose Sand Are You Running On?

by Christina Stolaas

One of my favorite places to run is the beach. The serenity offered by coastal surroundings is like no where else in the world: glorious sun-rays, gentle consistent breeze, the slapping of waves on the shore, and of course-- soft sand! On a beach getaway this year I was enjoying the luxury of an uncrowded beach early in the morning. Gracefully, I glided through the low tide whites of the waves, each step refreshing as I stepped on the smoothly paved firm sand. It was absolutely divine!

In the far distance ahead, I caught sight of a young lady running the opposite direction about 20ft from the shore. As she neared, the first thing I noticed was the obvious fact that she was an experienced runner, as evidenced by her performance apparel, sleek figure and toned muscles. She was trudging through the soft “fluffy” white sand with strenuous effort. With each step, her legs were literally bounding off the sand but due to the inconsistency of the terrain she was running at a shockingly slow pace. As she got closer I noticed she was soaked in sweat, red faced and labored in breathing as though she was running a speedy sprint.

As I continued to run effortlessly on the wet, flat, firmer sand I thought about all the extra effort she was exerting by choosing to run on the distinctly opposite sand that was literally just feet away. Why would anyone choose to run on that sand when a much more comfortable surface was literally inches away? As we passed each other I wonder if she noticed that vast difference of our strides that was merely a result of the terrain on which we ran.

I was struck with the parallel of the Christian walk. As Christians, fear, lack of trust and self-sufficiency too often lead us to choose to run on sand that will inevitably wear us out prematurely. Though the white sand is visually appealing and even “feels great” to our feet-- attempting to run for any length of time on it is exhausting! It’s obvious that this type of sand wasn’t made for running! In fact, running for prolonged periods on this type of sand can cause overuse injury to calves, arches, and ankles due to the strain and lack of support for your feet.

I know I have too often then I care to admit trudged through the debilitating white sands while boldly proclaiming my desire to want to know God's will for my life and my path. I choose my sand instead of His. I want to do it my way; I ignore the Holy Spirits prodding and gentle whispers, “Get in! Come dip your toes in the water...” I run on the white sand because I don’t want to get too close to the waves. Maybe I fear the majesty of the sea, the unpredictable tide or perhaps it’s the temperature of the water. When I choose to run on this other sand I face obvious and unavoidable consequences-- often injury and paralyzing exhaustion.

The stunning reality is that the course God desires for us to run, which we often fear, is actually easier. Matthew 11:30 says: “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Our Father in heaven literally paves the road He has marked for each of our lives much like sand. Stop and visualize that for a minute. Gentle, white foam tipped water creeping up the shore consistently with wave after wave; thousands of sand granules being lifted up, replaced and methodologically moved with each covering to leave flawless smooth sand; literally waves of mercy and grace perfecting the ground ahead to give you secure footing on which to run! The God who created the universe is willing to remove obstacles! God desires to literally smooth the bumpy sand of your individual circumstances so that you can run unhindered and gracefully. 

I believe God requires us to run on His sand if we are to fulfill our unique destiny on earth. His waves are gentle and graceful, distinctly paving a clear path for each step of your life. Matthew 11:29 also says when we take His yoke upon us “you will find rest for your souls.” That means He desires you to run successfully! He also longs for you to enjoy the adventure and scenery. We ought to be describing life's daily runs with vibrant adjectives! Fulfilling. Delightful. Intoxicating. 

The reality is, if you run on the sand of your own choosing you will finish debilitated, with fatigued muscles and fall short of accomplishing within your performance potential. Choose today to take God at His word and run on His sand-- the scenery is amazing! As others see the contagious smile you run with perhaps they’ll decide to join you in this amazing adventure!


by Christina Stolaas

Sometimes You Need to Be a Carrier

by Christina Stolaas

Have you ever walked into a shopping mall, grocery store, or other public venue and seen an overly tired toddler lying in the middle of the floor? (Hope it wasn’t one of mine!) Every single one of my kids has done this several times between the ages of 2-3, but yesterday when it happened with Katana it taught me an encouraging lesson.

We were out shopping in the mall after a long day filled with errands and no nap. We had just finished forty five minutes of free play in their play area in which she played hard-- chasing, crawling, laughing and hiding with her siblings. Big bro and Big sis were fifteen feet ahead of Curtis and I pushing baby Ronin in the stroller. Katana was walking happily beside us, trudging along towards the exit with a mysterious grin on her face. She started to walk slower, began slowly rubbing her eyes and then next within a minute-- she laid down flat on the floor in the middle of the mall and started moaning and whining.

Being the savvy experienced parent I am- -and not particularly wanting to carry the two year old I decided to walk ahead and hope she would follow. She didn’t seem to mind that I left her even as I exclaimed, “I’m leaving you! Bye bye...” She was absolutely too exhausted to budge or even notice. Obviously, I would never dream of going more then 20ft in front of her...so when that wasn’t effective I had to move on to plan B. I walked back to her to ask her if she was tired and wanted me to carry her.

What every parent wants at this time is your sweet toddler simply to ask nicely for you to pick them up with those sweet sobbing eyes. As a mommy I longed for her to lay her head appreciatively on my shoulder to cuddle. What I got was of course completely different. First, she slapped me away with her free hand, and then she put her head back into the floor and.....screamed. Loudly.

Being a loving (and slightly embarrassed mother) I promptly grabbed her, manually or shall I say forcefully laid her head on my shoulder and proceeded to carry her out. I rubbed her back gently and sweetly talked to her, “Close your eyes sweetie, just close your eyes.” I didn’t react this way because I’m an “even tempered caring parent”...I reacted this way because I understood how exhausted she must be and how this exhaustion was most certainly the cause of her meltdown.

When I finally put the kids to bed last night I began thinking about how God treats me as my Heavenly Father. He’s so gentle with my meltdown moments, because as the ultimate loving and perfect parent He understands what’s behind them. God knows I tend to run hard and fast through this life-- and at times I play too hard and am overly ambitious. I move forward until I don’t have an ounce of “go” left and then I just collapse quite literally like my toddler demonstrated.

The truth is, God isn’t angry with me! He loves me and is more then willing to pick me up and carry me until my strength returns. Quite often-- in my own shame, frustration and feeling of failure I find myself throwing a tantrum and rejecting the very hands that long to comfort me. I swat away God’s advances and the invitation to rest on His shoulder. There are times I don’t want to talk to, read about, or be intimate with God.

What I’ve found in my life is-- God’s an excellent and protective daddy. He won’t leave me in the middle of the mall even when I push Him away through tantrums! He’s too concerned about my well being to leave me in a dangerous place where I can easily be ran over by life's circumstances. Even as I reject His advances-- He’s been so faithful to pick me up when I can’t walk anymore. He gently lays my weary head upon His strong shoulders and proudly carries me because I am His child.

What a powerful reminder my sweet girl was for me yesterday. As I walk this journey of life, God’s looking out for me. He’s patient, gentle, loving and forgiving because--- He knows me. He knows me because I am His, and He is mine!

When We Ask God Why

by Christina Stolass

As human beings who are greatly attracted to a life of ease, when hardships come, we are often tempted to question God and become frustrated. Many times we wonder “why me?” and if you’ve ever wrestled that question with God with the intensity of pain and struggle burdening you, it’s what I personally refer to as a circular question.

The answer always seems to be that we must trust that God is working in ways we cannot understand, that His ways are not our ways (Is 55:8), and that if we believe in His character we must trust that in His love for us He is working for our greater good throughout our lives in every situation. Honestly, it’s easy to talk that as truth, even easier to write it– but, when the rubber meets the road, most of us wrestle with that from time to time.

John Chapter 9 talks about a young boy blind from birth. His disciples must have wondered the question we often contemplate, why? They asked, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus responded in a way that is notable and sometimes troubling to believers, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (vs 3)

Though, I do not believe that God would cause illness, disease, suffering as a result of the sin of others, etc… I do believe fully believe that a Sovereign God allows such things into our life for many reasons– one of which is “that the works of God might be displayed…”

Can I just shoot straight?

I don’t have easy sugar coated answers. Not for children suffering. Or diseases taking lives that have not been fully lived. Not for poverty and families without homes. Or war. Not for natural disasters destructive trails of homes, businesses, and lives. Not for murder, theft, and crimes of horrendous natures.

But here is what I know– I know– with every fiber of my being. God has the ability to work through any and every situation. Nothing is impossible, too big, too much of a surprise or headache for the All Powerful Great “I am.”

And, as we face unthinkable hardships and trials in this world, I believe His desire is to orchestrate our lives in a way that each of our individual stories is one in which, “The works of God are displayed.”

When we allow to God enter our brokenness… His healing power is displayed.
When we allow God to be sufficient in times of need… His provision is displayed.
When we choose to be obedient even when the cost is great… His faithfulness is displayed.
When we trust Him in the face of opposition and obstacles… His mountain moving strength is displayed.
When we surrender our fears and anxiety during emotional storms… His calming and peaceful presence is displayed.

Wherever you are, whatever you are facing– God’s desire is that your life is not only a reflection of your love relationship with Him, but, also that your life is evidence of the manifested power of God at work. Strive to live your life aligned with Gods plans, so that others too may see the miracle, and that their response will also be… to praise God! 

He's Jealous for You

Last night, my six-year-old daughter, Sakura, went on a special date with her daddy. To say she was excited would be a grand understatement! She was elated at the thought of getting dressed up like a princess and for three weeks would daily ask, “How many more days till my date with daddy?”Her excitement was well justified, for this wasn’t just “any date”-- she was preparing for the kind of evening that every little girl (and most grown women) fantasizes about!
The activities for the evening were planned by our fabulous church and included a limo ride to the Melting Pot for chocolate fondue! (Wow!)

My husband played the part of prince charming fantastically, he picked out an outfit that coordinated hers and gladly joined in on the fun! With four young kids in our home, one on one time is quite rare, so, he was genuinely anxious and excited about spending some devoted time talking with her! When they joined the group of girls and their daughters at church, almost immediately he discovered that when surrounded with a group of giggly and giddy girls her attention was divided! She easily gravitated towards the fun of laughing, comparing shoes and necklaces and sharing lip-gloss with her church girlfriends instead of basking in the individual attention of her father. As a result, my husband came home slightly disappointed because he felt he never really got to connect with her. He longed to ask her about school, and friends, and new likes and dislikes, yet instead found himself a bystander most of the evening. Ironically, he watched her enjoy the company of her friends more-so than the company of her daddy on their special evening.

As I thought about this scenario, I was reminded of the infinitely amplified jealousy that the Bible describes God as having for us, His children. I wonder if what my husband felt is a small glimpse of how God often feels about what happens in churches every week. Our father watches us get dressed up in our Sunday best, coordinating jewelry and shoes, make up and hair dolled up, we rush to church for our set aside “date” with Him. Yet, how easily our attention is divided and we are lured away from His presence. Our thoughts are cluttered. Our hearts are hardened to messages that are too convicting or personal. We are distracted by to-do lists, regrets from last week, or anxiety for the week ahead. Can we be honest enough to admit that sometimes as Christians we “do church” socially and enjoy laughing and chatting with friends more then connecting intimately with the heart of God?
He always sought to woo them back into a love relationship exclusively with Him as their first love.
God invites us to call him “Abba Father.” Literally, He says, “Call me daddy!” He wants to know you and I intimately, as a perfect father knows His child. His schedule is never too busy. Our Papa God’s loving offer daily is an invitation into the wondrous joy of His presence!

Jealousy is an intense emotion, often with negative implications. God’s jealousy, however, is rooted in a passionate love, and should make us feel secure and protected in our covenant relationship with Him. As demonstrated over and over again in the story of the Israelites and their repeated unfaithfulness, God’s heart broke when His people wandered away from Him. He always sought to woo them back into a love relationship exclusively with Him as their first love.

God is jealous for you. Not for your talents. Or your money. Or anything you can do, give, or earn. He’s jealous for you because He knows and wants what’s best for you. He understands the longings of your heart and alone knows how to fill the God shaped hole you have.


By Christina Stolaas

Here Am I, Send Me!

By Christina Stolaas

"Somehow distancing myself from the facts allowed me to sleep with a freely and undisturbed conscience."

Last year I read the book Radical (David Platt) and it absolutely shook up my little comfortable world. I've never felt called to ministry or missions, and was previously fairly comfortable in the little Christian box I had myself tucked away in. Intentionally I had tried to shelter myself from the realities of poverty, sex trafficking, and other statistical tragedies that happen around the world. Somehow distancing myself from the facts allowed me to sleep with a freely and undisturbed conscience. Though I have known there are thousands of people groups who have never heard the gospel, not knowing their geographical locations always made the reality seem less real.

My husband traveled to Nicaragua on a missions trip last fall to an unreached people group. I was so proud of the work their team accomplished there, the willingness of their hearts to go (they traveled for 54 hours o get to the village!) and also excited to hear how God was working among the natives. Since Curtis got back from his trip I have been praying that God would break my heart for what breaks His and literally “call me to go.”

---

"I have been praying that God would break my heart for what breaks His and literally “call me to go.”"

During a morning devotional this past week I read about the call of Isaiah. I’m familiar with the story, but reading an excerpt by Oswald Chambers had me wanting to study it further. I am convinced it’s vital when we are seeking God’s direction (call) for our life and where He “wants us to be”  to understand what happened here.

In the beginning of chapter 6 Isaiah is having this incredible vision from God and actually seeing Him seated gloriously on His throne. Can you even imagine that?  He’s hearing the seraphim (similar to angels) cry out “Holy Holy Holy” and immediately realizes how sinful He is by comparison! In response Isaiah quickly cries out and confesses His unclean lips and the sinfulness of his people. The seraphim touches his lips to coal and declares his sins have been atoned for. (chapters 6:1-7)

Have you ever read a story in the bible and thought, I know what happens next? Then you re-read it and you realize it didn't go down exactly as you thought it had. I always thought essentially God told Isaiah directly to go and of course obediently he responded with the famous phrase, “Here am I! Send me!” I've always missed it.

In my Utmost for His Highest Chambers says, “God did not direct His call to Isaiah— Isaiah overheard God saying, “. . . who will go for Us?” The call of God is not just for a select few but for everyone. Whether I hear God’s call or not depends on the condition of my ears, and exactly what I hear depends upon my spiritual attitude.”

It was only once Isaiah had a clean heart before God that He could hear the call and respond with such eagerness and willingness. Isaiah’s response was a reflection of a heart that was so attuned to God (free from the incredible barrier of sin) that His only response was one of complete self abandonment and submission.

Whether I hear God’s call or not depends on the condition of my ears, and exactly what I hear depends upon my spiritual attitude.”

God is a gentleman. He doesn't call one with force, pleading, or manipulation. The call is for everyone, though few can hear it, and even fewer choose to respond to it.

As I ponder how and when God will have me go to Nicaragua this year my prayer is that I would quiet myself enough to listen to His call. My prayer is that I would not expect God to stop and say “Now, you go...” but would rather allow Him to mold my heart’s sensitivity into a servant who longs to serve wherever the needs are presented.

If you are seeking direction into which ministry opportunities to dive into in 2013 may I suggest the following thought?  Focus on maintaining a clean communication line between you and God (confess and ask forgiveness regularly) and then wait. Closely watch where there are needs around you and consider it’s quite possible that in those areas God is simply waiting for you to respond to the call of “who” with an eager,

“Here am I! Send me!”

Grace: A Snapshot

I got a speeding ticket a few weeks before Christmas. Today, I spent my time between the court house, insurance agency, and the driving school office with the arduous task of finding out how to reduce the effects of my infraction on my driving record. Surprisingly, this was my first ticket in ten years. I suppose you can say that I regularly speed, but, rarely get caught.

I’ve always viewed speed limits more like a speed suggestion. After all, most people speed a few mph over as it is what we as typical drivers consider “acceptable” and expected. Honestly, I’ve always tried to drive with the “flow of traffic” and when driving on a road alone have kept my speed to a ballpark range of what I have viewed as acceptably safe. In general I have showed little regard for the actual enforceable limit. (Please tell me I’m not the only one who drives this way?)

This morning I sadly became aware that if I don’t go to driving school the “ding” on my driving record will remain for several years and could potentially cause a rise in my insurance costs. Apparently, driving school is traffic enforcements penance system and attendance will actually esponge the ticket from my record as though it never occurred. Reluctantly, I decided a few hours of my time and a small court appearance would be the penalty I must pay (in addition to my actual fine) to take care of my unlawful driving.

As I considered all of the work associated with this ticket--- my annoyance at the time, cost, and penalty increased. What a pain! Though I very much deserved the ticket, being held accountable for the fact that I broke a law is really crappy. God used this ticket incidence to paint a portrait of how sweet God’s grace is when it comes to my daily law breaking and sinful habits.

Like speed limits, most humans treat the ten commandments more like ten suggestions. We pick and choose which laws to follow and how strictly to adhere to them. We unconsciously decide that minor infractions are okay because everyone is doing it. We are commanded to have no other gods, however, if it’s work, or family, or charity that comes before our worship it seems justifiable. After all, those are good things right? We know thou shalt not bear false witness, but white lies, well, those don’t really count do they? We know we ought to honor our father and mother, but regularly disobey, sometimes ridicule, and often disrespect them.

Every single one of us, daily breaks God’s rules. Daily we are guilty and deserve to be ticketed. Fined with a fee that we would forever be incapable of paying. But Jesus offers grace to the greatest humans among us and more importantly, the least. The poor. The neglected. The sinful. The outcasts. Jesus offers grace to some we wouldn’t even shake hands with.

Next time you fall short, remember the outrageous gift of God’s grace. You could never deserve it, but you don’t have to. It’s yours to just accept. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Grace says, the fine has already been paid. Grace says, your record is free and clear. The beauty of grace is that you owe nothing but gratitude.

Don't Box Jesus Up!

By Christina Stolaas

It’s New Years Day. The rain has been pouring outside with a constant mechanical like rhythm all morning. The floors of my home are filled with boxes that came out of the attic marked “Christmas.” The day is dreary inside and out. My heart looms heavy with sadness as the most joyous season is over. Resolutions and dreams await. To-do lists and goals. Better finances. Better health. More family time. More time with God. All the demands collide in unison and scream, “Hurry, hurry. Put Christmas away, hurry!”

But, this year, I don’t want to put Christmas away. You see, Christmas is truly magical for me. I slow down, laugh with my kids, play games, stay up late and eat cookies, sing with glee “just because”. I celebrate with joy all of the gifts that surround me and stand in awe of gift of Jesus and His presence.

The day ticks on.  The kids watch, begging me to stop, sad and helpless, as I continue to rid our home of Christmas decor. I have carefully boxed the snowman and trees, the ornaments are wrapped and packed, the lights turned off, the garlands carefully rolled up, the cookie tins empty. I’ve found the nativity box and carefully tucked Baby Jesus away, along with the stable and a host of the other prominent Christmas characters. There is no joyful music playing and I work, and I think.  Isn’t this sadness that resonates in the heart of many at the change of seasons, a clear indicator that Christmas is a gift that is meant for everyday? We daily need the joy that comes with the miracle of belief. The miracle of God’s presence here on our fallen, sinful and hurting world.

Christmas is the miracle of God with us. The unthinkable miracle of our savior becoming like us. The miracle of Jesus being able to relate to life as we sense it, through human eyes. The ever-changing volatile emotions, the various moments of favor and blessing, and often, those seasons of grief and hardship.  The mundane and boring weeks where apathetically we go through the motions of life and routine.

When we experience unspeakable grief, tragedies we can’t understand, and heartbreaks that feel larger then our faith we need a miracle. We need a Savior who has experienced all, who empathizes in our brokenness, yet offers floods of peace and assurance of His presence. We can move through this life with joy, even through uncertainty, only because He is with us.

When we experience immense joy, and unspeakable gladness we realize all is possible only because of the gift of Jesus. The love I experience as I mother my children and grow old with my husband, only possible because of the love of God in my heart. The glimpses of heaven on earth, a foretaste of the goodness that awaits when all is made right. And all will be made right, all tears one day wiped away, all the life hurt and the many injustices of life wiped from our memories…. It will be. But only because of the Christmas miracle.The miracle of God with us.

As you go through 2013 I pray that you will not leave Christmas in the attic this year. Don’t box Jesus up and ignore the gift of His presence. Don’t save it for Sundays or for the month of December. Unwrap the gift every morning. Jesus. Here with you. No matter what the day brings, no matter what the year holds, He is here. In your midst. Loving. Holding. Sustaining. and giving Joy. Deep, soul filled, overflowing, uncontainable joy.


Joy that doesn’t depend on circumstances, people, or conditions. Joy that has no exclusions. The joy of Jesus is the gift God wants you to have every day this year, don’t leave it in a box. 

Our homes, schools, workplaces, government, and churches desperately need the Christmas miracle. The Christmas miracle is manifested in each and every believer, who chooses to “leave Christmas up” year round. This year, I’m making a resolution to celebrate Christmas every day. Join me?

Defective Character Syndrome

I’m going to be a bit transparent here, so, if you’ve always thought I have it together, you might not want to read this one. Yesterday I was rudely reminded that I suffer from a not-so-rare disorder. Every human has it, the holiest of saints, and most vile of sinners. It’s known by many names, and the symptoms manifest and are displayed differently in each person, but, it can be summed up with simply three words: Defective Character Syndrome or DCS for short.

After a particular rough day yesterday, in which I reacted in an enormous emotional and hurtful tantrum, I found myself reeling with frustration. Why do I do these things? Why am I this way? More importantly, what is wrong with me?

I react in ways I shouldn’t. I have a sharp tongue. I’m quick to lash out, and slow to calm down. I don’t always think through decisions. I lack patience. I’m selfish. (these are just a few of my individual symptoms, but there are many many many more and you probably have your own list).

When conflicts arise, my defective character syndrome, and the ugly effects of such a disease– rise to the surface. In my head, I see the disease being unleashed and spewing contagious venom on those around me– yet, I can’t seem to control myself as well as I ought to. Have you ever been there? If you’re human, you probably have. Some of us just happen to have more frequent, or more severe outbreaks of DCS. (Perhaps I am one of the “some.”)

Last night, I wallowed in sleeplessness and regret.

I began to read my Bible, as I have learned from prior experience– outbreaks of DCS can be controlled and minimized with the medicated words of God’s truth! I found myself in Romans, reading the words of Paul, who obviously suffered from DCS as well, and was equally frustrated with his inability to control himself. Paul gives a description of his inner struggle with DCS and how rapidly the disease of sin takes charge in his spirit:

Romans 7:21-25 (message)

21-23 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

Last night, I felt exasperated like Paul! Frustrated, irritated and a bit hopeless:

24 I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

But then, then, the sweet medicine of truth spoke a ray of hope into my anguished and disease ridden soul:

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

I have hope, you have hope, because Jesus has already done the work! The price has been paid for our sin natures, and the victory has already been won! PRAISE GOD! We will spend our Christian lives continuously pressing forward, continuously moving towards the goal of being Christ-like, and as we do, the evidence of such growth is less meltdowns, shorter episodes, and better control of our sin nature.

But, the truth is, though the cure exists (Jesus), we will not be made completely well, completely disease free until we join Him in heaven made perfect and sinless in His sight. On earth, we will struggle, and are each in need of grace in abundance. If like me, you’ve found yourself having a pity party because of your struggle remember this– you’re human. God loves you, forgives you, and His word is the medicine that fosters self-control. Take heart,His grace, His grace is sufficient for you! (2 Corinthians 12:9)



by Christina Stolaas

Lessons From the Sky

I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane today.

It. Was. Awesome.

For those that don’t know, I am casually afraid of heights. Looking down at high rides at theme parks always makes my palms sweat, heart race, and that familiar uneasy feeling appears in my stomach.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t overwhelmed with nerves or fear when preparing to dive. Perhaps the cause for which I was sky-diving overshadowed any tendency to be fearful! A wonderful friend, Tiffany Schwantes, is fighting for her life with cancer and was supposed to do the jump herself as a fundraiser. However, when she got on the transplant list, her doctors made it clear it wasn’t a wise idea. When she asked me to jump on her behalf I excitedly told her I would be honored to!

The night before our jump Tiffany became sick and ended up in the hospital so was unable to come watch the jump in person. Understandably, we were both really bummed out! As I put my gear on and awaited our departure I prayed for her and also prayed that God would teach me a lesson that I could bring back and share with others.

When it was time to board our plane I kissed my four kids and husband and bravely followed our jumping crew on to the plane. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but coincidentally, I was the last one to board the plane (closest to the exit) which meant, as you may have guessed.... I’d be the first to jump out! As we began our ascent it dawned on me... and I asked my instructor hesitantly, “Uhhh, are we the first ones to jump?” I think this is where my heart began to race a little!

My instructor and I exchanged names and some basic chitchat as the plane continued the climb. The view out the windows was gloriously gorgeous! What a beautiful day to be up in the sky! As the plane shifted/tilted I slid an inch or two on the bench toward the airplane jump exit and realized suddenly that I wasn’t actually strapped onto my instructor yet. Here I was-- up in the sky, with no seatbelt, with no parachute, and a plane window wide open. I leaned back into my instructor and confirmed my fears, “We aren’t strapped to each other yet, are we?”

“Nope. Soon.”

I scooted back quickly on the bench and searched for something to hang on to, but there were no handles or anything in sight. So, I grabbed the only thing I knew to keep my hands busy and hoped it would help steady my racing heart--- my own chest straps.

Within a minute or two, I distinctly felt my instructor attach my harnesses to his own. Immediately I felt relief. Immediately, I knew I was safe. Harnessed to the individual who had a parachute. Harnessed to an expert jumper. Harnessed to my only option for landing safely on the ground.

I realized at that moment it wasn’t the parachute I was trusting in to deliver me safely to the ground. (though I realize if the parachute malfunctioned things could get bad really fast.) But, my faith and security actually rested almost solely on the instructor! In jumping out of the plane I would be risking my life and placing my confidence in his experience. But more importantly, my safety depended on one very critical point: staying harnessed to him.

If, for any reason I unexpectedly became unattached I would tragically and immediately face sudden and certain death. A tandem skydive requires one to place absurd amounts of confidence in the equipment that bonds the jumper to the instructor. Honestly, as we fell freely through the air there were a few seconds where briefly I hardly noticed/remembered I was attached. The speed was intense and an overwhelming rush! But, when it was time to slow down and prepare to land-- when the chute shot out and immediately brought the blazing speed to a halt--- my heart screamed with joy in realizing I was still safely connected and the parachute worked! Hallelujah!

On the drive home I thought of what the beautiful parallel life is to a skydive. Whether we like it or not, essentially we are all on a plane free-falling through life. Each of us has a choice. We can choose to jump out of the plane and free fall solo, intensely flailing our arms and legs as gravity moves us closer and closer to our destination....until boom....slamming into the ground is inevitable! People who choose to jump solo have no access to a parachute so the result of their jump will end the same way every time. Absolute total destruction.

Or, we can make the choice to trust Jesus with our hearts, tether our life to His and jump. As a Christian we get the privilege of enjoying the ride and relaxing on the fall through the sky! Because we are successfully attached, and because our jumper has the experience necessary to operate the parachute-- we can savor the intense adventure with the confidence that Jesus is completely trustworthy and faithful to deliver a safe landing for us in this life.

Confidence doesn’t come from the parachute, confidence rests in the Man wearing the parachute! As a Christian, we can bravely face any circumstances in this life because we are assured that Jesus will hang on to us no matter how intense the ride down may be. Every single ones of us will have times where the speed, the fear, the adrenaline from circumstances will be so overwhelming that our emotions scream a crash is imminent. However, when we begin a relationship with Jesus as our Savior we can rejoice in the beautiful truth that it is He who hangs on to us, and not vice versa. Our faith allows us to truly live F E A R L E S S because our landing is guaranteed!