4 Signs of a Godly Friend

Can I be honest with you? As a young girl I had no problems making friends. I could get around a crowd of girls and just fit right in. But as I got older and experienced hurt and betrayal from other women, I became less quick to fit in. I will admit that at times I still tend to pull away with the fear that a friend may hurt me.

What I looked for in my worldly friends was completely different from what I want and desire from a godly friendship. I believe that the gift of friendship was one of God's greatest ideas. I also believe that just how God picks our our husbands to compliment us, He does the same with our friends. It has been said about marriage that where one lacks the other makes up for it. I know Jesus made friendship to work the same way.

I spent a good part of my life searching for genuine friendships. I always would get sad when I would hear women say, "We have been best friends for over 15 years." I thought, wow. That would be nice to have. I had close friends, but those were all worldly friends. Things happened that caused us to go our separate ways, and with others we just grew apart. Temporal friendships don't stand a chance when they are built on a temporal foundation. The slightest disagreement can wash away even 20 years of what you thought was an unbreakable friendship if it was not built on solid foundation. God, The Rock.

But when you are blessed enough to find a friend that loves you enough to point out your sin even when you do not recognize it, or a friend that just knows when something is off with you and instead of asking questions they take it to God. . .That is a real friend. When times are hard a real friend will not take you to the club to get drunk and "forget your problems," they will take you before the Lord and cry out on your behalf. Your burdens will become their burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Godly friendships require transparency and trust. It is not easy to be honest and vulnerable about our deepest struggles, fears, and hidden sins. It takes crazy faith to put ourselves out there like that. Especially if you have been hurt by friends in the past. But it is a wonderful feeling when God gives you a peace about someone. When He whispers to your heart, "It is okay. You can trust them."

So, what does a godly friendships look like? 

• They rejoice in your accomplishments. There is no room for jealousy in a God-breathed friendship. As a matter of fact your accomplishments become their accomplishments because more than likely you were a big part of that success. Your prayers, your support, and your accountability was crucial during this season. 
  
  
  "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic." (James 3:14-15)
  
  
• A true friend speaks the truth in love. . .even if it hurts. You know that you can always trust that she tells you is for your own good, even if you may not want to hear it. She is a woman of prayer and you know that she goes before God for you to seek wisdom even in your situations. She will tell you if you have acted out of character whether you want to hear it or not. And this must work both ways.
  
  
  Brethren, if any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness. (Galatians 6:1)
  
  
• Godly friends will not gossip about you. The Bible has a lot to say about gossipers, and it is not good. So, a gossiping friend is not good either. Can you comfortably share something private with your friend and know without a doubt that your conversation will stay private? True friends are are honest and trustworthy with matters of the heart. A real friend will defend you in public and confront you in private.
  
  
  Whoever goes around as a gossip tells secrets. Do not associate with a person whose mouth is always open. (Proverbs 20:19)
  
  
  
• True godly friends are natural givers. You will find in godly friendships that both parties give sacrificially without hesitation. A real friend makes sacrifices. I admit I have sacrificed some sleep to sit up with my crying girlfriend at four in the morning, and so have others for me. I have had friends bring us groceries when we didn't have much. Friends who take from theirs to give to ours our some of the most blessed friendships.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Do you consider yourself a true godly friend? 

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

Your Are Not Alone

If there is something, just one thing, that God has vividly shown in my life recently, it's that we need each other to get through the struggles of this life. I cannot stress enough, the importance of how you choose your friends.

Proverbs 13:20,  “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

I am a strong believer in being the light in the darkness, being the Good Samaritan, and showing believers and non-believers the life of love that a Christian individual should walk. However, it is vital that we have a support system of fellow believers to encourage us, pick us up when we fall down, and provide God's wisdom in times of celebration just as much as in times of darkness. 

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Recently, a friend of mine and I discussed the difference between friendships based on convenience and friendships based on commitment. When you associate yourself with people that are simply convenient, you will find yourself with nothing when God calls you elsewhere and those friends do not care to pursue your friendship, because that element of convenience is gone. However, when you choose Christian friends that walk in love, you have a support system and community that will be invested in your life no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, they will not leave you alone. 

2 Kings 2:2 And Elijah said to Elisha, “Please stay here, for the LORD has sent me as far as Bethel.” But Elisha said, “As the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they went down to Bethel.

I encourage and challenge you to evaluate your friendships. Are you basing your friendships off of convenience or commitment? Are you going to be the friend who will leave the office or classroom to answer a call to be there for someone? Do you know a friend would do the same for you? 

C.S. Lewis wrote, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”

My prayer is that you evaluate your friendships and relationships and ask God to provide people to walk in faith and love with. Ask Him for friendships that will assure you, you are not alone.


by Morgan Fisher

How To Reconcile A Relationship

Have you ever had a relationship become broken, but later was able to reconcile?

Several weeks ago I bumped into an old friend at a funeral.  We had not spoken to each other in about two and a half years.  Even though we were both friends of the family who had recently experienced the loss of a loved one, it was a complete surprise to run into one another.  After sharing pleasantries, he expressed the desire to get together.  Within the next week he emailed back and then we set up a time to meet for coffee.

We had been friends for about ten years when something difficult happened.  We found ourselves on the opposite sides of an issue.  Looking back, we could have very easily maintained a relationship despite this new disagreement, but we did not.  We let things happen in such a way that feelings were hurt and we went separate ways.

I was uncertain before we met.  Would he rehash the past?  Would I be told that I was wrong?

As we sat down over coffee he began by explaining that he cared about me and that he was sorry for any hurt that he had caused me.  There were no accusations or conflict.  We were able to forgive one another.

I wanted to share this because it is what happens in our relationship with God.  We had this great relationship going with him.  Then we did some stuff that  messed it all up.

Even though the conflict was totally our fault, God took the initiative.  He made reconciliation happen.  It wasn’t cheap, but he decided that we were worth it.  And now we are friends again.  The relationship that was broken has been restored.

If we are to be just as our father is, then we should be actively engaged in trying to reconcile broken relationships.  We should take the initiative and contact the person we have been estranged from.  We also need to avoid negative divisive language.  Most importantly we need to forgive.

Is there someone in your life that you could call and get together over coffee and discuss reconciliation?