Music Artist of The Month: Laughing Out Loud with Natalie Villa

By Carmen Miller



What started as my usual random search of female Christian singers, I came across this bubbly, beautiful chica. Her name is Natalie Villa. And WHOLE's first Music Artist of The Month.

Natalie recently debuted her single "LOL." A catchy melodic song reminding us all that, when life throws us a lemon. . . LAUGH OUT LOUD! Contrary to what people believe, Christians do not have a perfect life. We also will find ourselves going through trials, but when we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, remaining faithful & joyful even in our darkest hours—He promises us a eternal future of hope. 

And that's what Natalie wants her fans to know. "On this journey of life there will be hard times and happy times, but through it all there is one thing that will never change, the love of Jesus. This song “LOL” depicts the joy one can have while trusting in God no matter what the circumstance." - Natalie

Read further to see what Natalie had to say to WHOLE.


     W: We love your new song “LOL!” What is the meaning behind the title?

N: Thank you so much! “LOL” means to “laugh out loud” and that is the whole meaning behind the song, the joy of the Lord! When the song was written, I was dealing with some crazy issues and finally just said, “God even with all of this craziness in my life, you really got me LOL!!!” While writing it I was finding the joy of the Lord in my everyday life. Whether I was going to the doctor, stressed at work in my cubicle or even cleaning my house, and that is what I hope happens for every person that listens to this song. Happiness is temporary, but true joy no one can take away from you, and that’s the meaning behind “LOL”.


W: As a child you struggled with fear and anxiety. What happened that made you realize Christ had finally freed you from this stronghold in your life?

N:
 The moment I realized God had set me free from fear and anxiety is when I was able to stay at home alone by myself all night! I used to be so afraid of everything that I could not be home alone. God gave me this revelation of Him being my protector. That He will always be with me, and will take care of me. Psalms 121 totally set me free for real! It talks about where does my help come from? The mountains? The hills? No it comes from God alone who is my Guardian, who never sleeps, always watches me, and will always protect me. It was then I started to really learn what it means to trust the Lord and it was revolutionary. Breaking free from fear and anxiety has been a process my whole life. Sometimes I still have to do things afraid, but this passage of God’s word has really helped me live a life of freedom. You need to check it out!


W: We are excited to see more and more Christian Pop music emerging. What is it like being a Christian artist in a secular world?

N: It’s so exciting and honestly freeing because I can be me and not have to be what society says I have to be. It also gives me hope that I might be able to bring change in this world, even through something as easy as music! I really believe the most powerful, universal tool the Church has is music and even a song as simple as “LOL” can penetrate the darkness of this world.

 

W: What do you want to tell our readers who are going through hard times and have lost that joy they once had for Christ?

N:Praise and thankfulness is the key, my friends! The scripture Isaiah 61 tells us to put on garments of praise for a spirit of heaviness and it’s so true! Where praise exists, heaviness cannot! You will be shocked at the joy that floods in you when you start praising and thanking God. His joy is contagious and when you get into His presence, it’s impossible not to receive it. The results of a thankful heart will literally change you. Even if your circumstances look bad sometimes you just have to remember, God is good because He is God! And He is good all the time, no matter what life looks like. When you focus on His goodness despite what’s going on or how you are feeling, it will really help change your perspective and joy will come, I promise.

 

W: WHOLE Magazine exists to encourage women and young girls in finding wholeness in their brokenness. Have you ever experienced a season of brokenness?

N: Well first of all, I think the mission of WHOLE Magazine is amazing! Second, yes I have totally experienced seasons of brokenness, I think that’s just a part of life. What’s really funny is that my song “LOL” came from probably one of the darkest seasons of my life. It was like a walking contradiction to how I was feeling when I was writing it. I had been battling through some major health and some relational issues and it left me feeling afraid, anxious and discouraged. Everyday was a fight. One day I would be feeling encouraged and the next day really discouraged. But honestly, what brought me through that season was the Bible! The word of God is so powerful. It will meet you wherever you are at and change your whole life because it will change you! That’s what it did for me. My circumstances did not necessarily change, but I began to believe the scriptures I was reading, and believe that God is good and declare them. One day at a time, I could feel a change in me. God really taught me during this season of feeling broken that He is the Great Shepherd and yep, I am the Sheep. I have learned that He is totally trustworthy and dependable no matter the circumstance. One last thought-- you are not your brokenness. Your brokenness doesn't define you. The only thing that truly defines us is that we are children of God and that He loves you. Oh yeah!!!

 
W: What is your favorite scripture, or a verse that you memorize and live by?

N:
 For sure my life scripture and favorite verse that I constantly live by is 2 Timothy 1:7! I seriously could not live on this planet with out knowing that God was given me power, love and a sound mind… and not fear! It’s literally fundamental to my existence… lol.

 
W: Who are some of your favorite artists you listen to?

N:
 I LOVE Beckah Shae, V.Rose, Kari Jobe, all of the RMG artists- Derek Minor, Kanon, Tony Tillman, Chad Jones… I am always listening to these artists on my iPhone or car.

 
W: Is there anything on your heart you would like to share with our readers?

N: Never, EVER give up! I heard someone once say, “The pain of giving up far outweighs the pain of persevering.” No matter where you are at today or what has happened in your life, you have a beautiful destiny. God knows you. He knows what you’re going through and He STILL loves you! He has an amazing plan for you. Remember you can walk through anything because He is with you and you can do all things through Him because He is the one that strengthens you! Xoxo


“This is truly one of my life desires, to see generations encounter the presence of the Lord through all genres of music. I really believe that there is nothing greater than worshiping the Lord through all forms of creative expressions.” - Natalie


Check out the official music video "LOL" below.



Visit Natalie's website to learn more and receive your free download of "LOL." Connect with her on Facebook and on Twitter @msnatalievilla.

Love vs. Lust

by Johnnesha Parker



Once upon a time, I thought I was so in love.  I remember how much I wanted to spend every minute of my day gazing into his eyes, cuddling, having long conversations and sharing secrets and desires.  He felt like the “real thing” at the time.  I just knew our love would last forever…and I did my best to try and make it last.

They say hindsight is 20/20, and looking back I can clearly see that what I felt was love wasn't love at all.  Yes, I had a strong yearning and desire for him that was overwhelming at times, but it wasn't love…it was more like lust.  Everything this man and I shared satisfied my fleshly craving for attention and affection, but it did nothing for my spirit.  God was not a part of our relationship at all!  Our “love” was all about satisfying our needs and indulging our own wants and desires.  In fact, whenever we tried to pray together, attend church services, or even discuss scriptures, we would encounter some sort of conviction about the lifestyle we were living together.  Lusts of the flesh are sins that lead to a separation from God, and this relationship was doing just that.  Eventually, after much heartache and disappointment, we separated and moved on.

Some years later, I married the man God sent for me.  My husband challenges me to live out the instructions found in 1 Corinthians 13 about real “love.”  
  • Love is patient and kind.  We may go through rough patches now and then, but I suffer through them with  a smile in my heart and on my face because I have faith in God’s plan for my marriage.  I know His plan does not include my giving up on my covenant with my husband because it’s too hard.
  • Love does not envy or boast.  Everyone’s marriage is different.  My married friends may seem to have a better, more romantic relationship than I do, but they could also be struggling with the same issues all couples face.  By the same token, I can’t look at a marriage that’s in trouble and say to myself, “Well at least we’re not doing THAT bad!”  It doesn’t do any good to focus on someone else’s blessings or failings.  I thank God for the privilege of being a wife and ask His strength and grace each day to be the Proverbs 31 woman of my husband’s dreams.  
  • Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.  This is a biggie!  Before I was married, if I didn’t get what I wanted from a relationship I would be irritable about it at first, then in time irritation morphed into resentment.  I blamed my partner for not making me happy and fulfilling my needs and wants.  That was pure selfishness; love is not about getting, it’s about giving.
  • Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Here is the heart of love; this is how God loves us.  Some things that happen in a marriage, like infidelity for example, may seem unbearable.  It may be hard to believe that things will ever get better, and it can be easy to lose hope in your partner.  However, God bears with us through all of our faults and disappointments.  He believes and hopes that we will see how much He truly loves us and return to Him when lust causes us to fall away.  God endures all things because He loves us and wants us to belong to Him in spirit, soul, and body.  When you love someone, God can give you that same strength to endure and hold on.
  • Love never ends.  I’m so thankful that God’s love will always be there waiting for me.  It gives me a feeling of security that nothing else can give.  With God, it doesn’t matter if I’m fat or skinny, rich or poor, have a GED or PhD; His love is still the same.  Even if I sin and separate from God, He is always there waiting for me to reconcile and come back to Him.  I want to be able to love my husband the same way; in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death separates us.  
I’ve learned that love isn’t always easy and it’s almost nothing like what we see in movies.  Love is not about diamond rings, lavish trips, and shopping sprees.  It’s not about having someone to fulfill your every wish and desire.  It’s not even about sex on the beach or passionate kisses in the rain while your favorite love song plays in the background.  Love is giving, hoping, sacrificing, enduring, growing closer to your partner and closer to God.  

Are you in love or in lust?

Love Is Blind

By Jarrad Miller



What is the definition of LOVE? Our society confuses love & lust. Unlike lust, God's kind of love is directed outward towards others, not inward towards ourselves. Love has become a mixed-up term with little meaning.

Today, people are still confused about love. It is the greatest of all human qualities, and it is an attribute of God himself! 

Whoever does not love does not know God,
because God is love.  - 1 John 4:8

God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah saying, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness" (Jer. 31:3). He is eager to do the best for us if we will let Him. Before we were formed in the womb the Lord knew us. For years we swam around in a sea of meaningless searching for love. Mary J. Blige had a joint called "Real Love,' where she belted out that she was in search of a real love. However, I will never forget the song by Eve called "Love Is
Blind."  

"Love is blind and it will take over your mind. What you think is love, is truly not. 
You need to elevate and find." - Eve

There is definitely some truth to the above statement, but love is NOT blind; it's the people who know the Word, but do NOT know the meaning of it! In high school, I dated a girl I thought I was in love with. But I tried to control her. God gently leads, Satan tugs hard. I didn't want her to wear revealing clothes, nor have male friends, because I thought they would probably be flirtatious with each other. I would get upset if I even thought she looked at another guy. No longer did I look at her as human. I looked at her as my property, and ultimately I felt that I could put my hands on her. . .all in the name of LOVE!

LOVE IS NOT BLIND! It is that the truth of love has been veiled to those who do not know or have fellowship with the Son. Rihanna sings to us, "we found love in a hopeless place," but when you spend your meaningless life searching for love and searching for hope, eventually you will realize that hope & love are found in Jesus Christ who will never disappoint.

So back to Eve's song, "what you think is love, is truly not. You need to elevate and find." Isn’t that the truth! The Word of God says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).

In conclusion, we need to elevate and find out what love is truly about. Apostle Paul said that love is the greatest gift. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

CHOOSE GOD. . .CHOOSE LOVE!

Please Excuse My Christianity

By Brittany Moses


It’s estimated that 33% of our entire world’s population represents Christianity (about 2.1 billion people) ranking as the top organized religion in the world. After Christianity follows Islam, Secularism, Hinduism, etc. and even Christianity can be dissected into different denominations but the point follows that the majority of our world claims Christianity. The statistics can be translated into a mighty encouragement and inspiration to us yet we live in a time where the values of our faith are constantly being thrown to shame. Purity, honesty, sacrifice, integrity, modesty and even the name of our savior Jesus Christ is all being shoved under the rug and replaced with the ultimate self-pleasing life experience in our culture. You can hear it in secular music, see it in movies, read it in magazines and the list goes on. The problem is that when you live for a cause dedicated to the pursuit of self that cause dies with you. You’ll see that while most of the world claims Christianity a lot of our lifestyles reflect an example quite contrary to the teachings of Christ. 
Now I don’t for one second want to set this up to bash Christianity. After all, I am a devoted Christian myself and I truly believe that the body of Christ is “the hope of the word” as Bill Hybel said. I want to make it clear today that there is a HUGE difference between “claiming” Christianity and actually BEING a Christian. There’s a difference between a life of knowing who Christ is and surrendering to a life completely yielded to the salvation plan of Jesus Christ. There’s a difference between an empty religion set to rules of what you “can” and “cannot” do to an intimate love relationship with the Lord our God which leads you genuinely to the righteous life. And once we have made an awareness of the difference and have truly applied this to our lives, it is SOUL-CHANGING.
I’ve noticed that when we come to the point of sharing our faith with others we find ourselves sugar-coating or watering down the message so that it seems more acceptable to the person we are sharing with. Sometimes we don’t even share at all because we’re afraid of risking rejection. How is it that we become ashamed of the same faith that is the leading faith of our world? Our culture is outright blunt and unashamed in its sin. In fact, we glorify sin. Things like “friends with benefits”, casual violence, getting drunk, taking drugs etc. are common examples of glorified sins clearly prohibited by God. I feel like as a Christian it’s equally necessary to be unashamed in Christ in a way that stands out as a polar opposite of our fallen society. In Romans 1:16 Paul states confidently “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” Paul was a fantastic example of an unashamed Christian fighting for a life dedicated to the Gospel truth. When you know more about a reality show then the Bible, or more about some secular artists lyrics then the Word of God or more about a celebrities life details then the scripture then your reality of Gods truth becomes distorted. Soon we start believing that life is supposed to be just like all of these things. This is the start of how Christians can backslide into a lifestyle that blends in with the world but contradicts the Word. 2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NLT) perfectly predicts our world’s intake on guidance, “For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.” 
We need to make sure that we are giving out the Gospel in raw truth and not only what we think people want to hear. The truth is the truth whether we like it or not. And God’s truth is to lead us to the ultimate greater good in the end so it is for our overall benefit. Most people are more convinced of the faith by witnessing a life impacted by Christ then preaching all day long with no actions supporting the claim of their faith. Let’s lead others to the truth of the Gospel by the way that we live. Let our lives be the proof of our faith. Let’s NOT misrepresent our God by titling ourselves as Christians while acting out against Him. That would be a contradiction in itself; it would be misleading and subject to His righteous judgment. 
I titled this post “Please Excuse My Christianity” in reference to the way we approach sharing our faith. Nothing is wrong with being a Christian. Nothing is wrong with dedicating our lives to the God who gave us life. Nothing is wrong with sharing your God-given beliefs even if NO ONE believes you. Mark 16:15 states, “And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” This is our calling. Our purpose is to impact not just the world, but ETERNITY. When we stand before our God of the universe one day, seated on His throne surrounded in glory, do you think it will matter then whether we got rejected by someone or not for sharing the Gospel? This is what we call eternity-thinking. 
We are making choices that glorify Gods eternal plan for the salvation of mankind. These are choices for a cause that goes beyond the grave. But the first step is leading with your own life. I would hope that you have read this and made the decision to start making changes today. It’s easy to read something like this and think it is simply a good message or a motivating read. It is something very different to read this and say “Starting now I choose to follow God with all my heart and soul and fight for the cause of soul transformation.” I pray that this has blessed you all and sparked a fire to fight the good fight of faith. Amen!


Perfection

By Coleen York



There was once a time when I thought that in order to be beautiful I had to be on the cover of Vogue or something. Or that I at least had to reach that level of pretty, of skinny, of perfection. To be worthy of the magazines… to be the "ultimate."

Movie Review: A Little Bit of Heaven

By Carmen Miller


While perusing through Netflix in the wee hours of the morning, I came across this movie. A Little Bit of Heaven.

Most movies about dying from cancer don’t have the bouncy high spirits and candy-colored atmosphere of a modern romantic comedy. Then comes A Little Bit of Heaven starring Kate Hudson who plays  a free-spirited woman (yet, again) who is diagnosed with Colon cancer. In the movie she voices her intention of never wanting to fall in love or settle down. Everything changes when she meets Gael Garcia Bernal, the man who changes how she feels about love. He just happens to be the doctor diagnosing her with colon cancer and offering slim chances that any treatment will keep her alive. 

Kate Hudson flirts with Bernal as he preps her for a colonoscopy, an awkward moment (and apparently a nice dose of morphine drip) followed by a fantasy sequence in which Hudson’s spirit travels to heaven and talks to God, who takes the form of Whoopi Goldberg, who informs her, sassily, that she’s dying. She is  granted three wishes on the way out, however, though she knows—being "omniscient" and all—that what Hudson really wants is to find love before she dies.

This movie reinforces the importance of true love and, despite its grim subject matter, A Little Bit Of Heaven stays on task even in the face of death. Kate's character even has a moment where she asks her doctor beau if he believed in God and how she envied people who believed in Him and lived a life of joy and peace, because as believers they knew what was in waiting for them after they passed on. 

It reminded me of what's to come for us as believers. We once feared dying and no longer living alongside our loved ones. As new creatures in Christ we know now that we have a beautiful Kingdom waiting for us. A place with no more pain, ugliness, hurt or violence. A place of true joy and love.

Jesus reminds us of this in John 14:1-3, when He says, Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am."

If you have Netflix, call up your girlfriends, pop some popcorn and enjoy A Little Bit of Heaven.

*Please note this is not a Christian movie, however as a believer I tend to look  at everything Biblically and Spiritually. 

Identity Crisis: Made In Whose Image?


She stood staring at herself in the full length mirror, turning every which way, as if a different angle would produce the results she required: Perfection.

She sucked in her stomach a little bit more and made a face at the one staring back at her in the mirror. If she skipped lunch today and ran an extra two miles tonight she could probably make up for the cookie she broke down and ate ten minutes ago…

If You're Honest. . .

By Coleen York




“How are you?”
“Good. I’m good. How are you?”
Freeze.
How many times a day do we have these exchanges? How many times a day do you lie, or perhaps just gloss over the truth?
But, you might be thinking, no one really wants to hear about financial struggles, or the fight I had with my mum, or about how I feel like crap today because my pants fit too tight, or because I’m just struggling and I don’t even know whyThat would be too much information… Right?
But what about with God? At times I wonder if society’s drive-by question and answer routine has crept into our prayer lives and into our attitudes concerning God.
God desires to know what’s going on in your life. How you’re feeling, how you’re coping, where you’re stuggling, what you’re happy about, what you feel guilty about, what you’re thankful for. It’s never too much information for Him.
I know right now you’re probably thinking, Doesn’t God already know all that stuff anyway? Why do I have to tell Him?
Because it promotes intimacy. God doesn’t want your glossed-over, ready-for-the-public answers. He doesn’t desire a relationship with your “Brave Face”.
An earthly parent may know that something is bothering their child, they may even know what that particular problem is, but it doesn’t further the relationship or put the parent in a position to offer wisdom if all the child says is “I’m good” or “It’s whatever.”
In Matthew  11:28-30 Jesus tells us,Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you.Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.
He wants you to come to Him with everything. He wants all of your burdens, whether you think they are logical, or important, or not. He’s waiting for you to unload your burdens upon Him so that THEN He can teach you about them.
Every emotion and feeling has a root and a cause. When we open ourselves up to the God who knows our hearts intimately and created emotions, we give Him room and permission to reveal His wisdom in each in every season we are in. In each and every emotional upheaval. In each and every bad day or good day.
Wrestle it, pray it, write it, sing it, scream it, think it out with Him. He longs for you to bring your burdens to Him so you can go through and sort it out together.
Let Him replace your burdens with His wisdom, knowledge and insight. His yoke is easy, His burden is light.

God: Our First Love


“Even a beautiful God-scripted love story can never satisfy the way Jesus does. Even the most heroic and Christlike man on earth can never fulfill the longings of our heart like the true Prince and lover of our soul (Jesus Christ). And until we are able to truly make Him our first love, until we are willing to give up our dream of an earthly love story for His sake, we will never know the fullness of Him who fills us all in all. We will always be looking to a mere man to meet the desires of our heart, rather than to the One who created us, who knows us better than we know ourselves, and who gave His very life’s blood to rescue us.”

—Leslie Ludy



Can you relate to this quote?

Back-To-School Treat: 15-Minute Apple Cinnamon Rolls Recipe




These lovely apple cinnamon rolls were kind of an experiment . . . and they turned out amazing!! My little sister was over one afternoon and she needed an after-school snack . . . we looked through my pantry and fridge and decided to put two of my favorite things together: apple pie filling and cinnamon rolls. It is seriously a match made in heaven!


I just used the cinnamon rolls that you can buy in the refrigerated section of the grocery store and a can of apple pie filling. I place the pre-made cinnamon rolls in a 9x13" baking pan about 2 inches apart. I then scooped a large spoonful of pie filling on top of the rolls.




The instructions on the cinnamon rolls package said to bake them at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes, but with the apple filling on top, they actually had to bake a lot longer. I think that I baked them for about 18 minutes. Once I pulled them out of the oven, I drizzled the frosting that came with the cinnamon rolls package on top . . .
They were so good! I HIGHLY recommend that you make some for yourself! Plus, they are so easy. Anybody can do this! :)


These would probably be delicious if you made your cinnamon rolls from scratch and used homemade apple pie filling . . . but let's be honest . . . I don't really have time for that at this point in my life. :)
If you try this using homemade rolls, let me know! I would love to hear how they turned out!


Anyway, here is the "recipe" if you want to print it out!

Ingredients:
1 can apple pie filling
1 tube package cinnamon rolls (found in the refrigerated section of the grocery store- mine had 8 rolls)
frosting (included with the cinnamon rolls)

Directions:
Open package and place cinnamon rolls 2" apart in a lightly greased 9x13" baking pan. Scoop a large spoonful of apple pie filling on top of each cinnamon roll. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes (time will depend on your oven, so just check often). Remove from oven and drizzle with frosting while they are still warm.


How To Identify A Random

By Heather Lindsey



So I get this question a TON! So I figured it would be a good idea to just give you so me basics.. of how to recognize a RANDOM. Yeah, I'm giving you some practical tips but you have to make sure that you're spending time with God daily (I blogged about it here) & letting Him lead your life. PEACE should rule as an empire in your heart daily.

If you're new to what  "RANDOM" is-- let's define it, A Random is defined as a person you KNOW you'll never marry but you date them to fill a void because you're lonely or bored. A random is that ex boyfriend that is still trying to EMOTIONALLY connect with you and you're married. A random is a co-worker that is switching' all hard in your face trying to get your attention. A random is a unhealthy relationship. This could also go for friendships as well. It's that person you KNOW is messy & gossips about everyone..but you still hang around them. If they're talking about others, they're talking about YOU. It's that friend that says, "girlll, you better get it-- he got money"-- or that guy that says "lets hit the strip club tonight.." I also introduced a "No Randoms" pinky promise bracelet as a fun reminder to tell them to get' outta' here! :) You can get one here.

Another disclaimer: NO man or woman is perfect, so get that fantasy out of your head. If you want a fairytale, watch a Disney movie. PEOPLE will have things that they need to work on. However, you should have standards and deal breakers.

But specifically for this blog-- we'll focus on No Randoms in a relationship. These could go for MEN or WOMEN.

How to Identify a Random 101

1. The Wrong Timing Random- this random says... I think that you're PERFECT for me.. but it's just the wrong TIME. What this really means is.. I have so many options & I'm not sure which one to choose. If I go with you, I'm afraid that I'll miss out on all these other people. So if I emotionally string you along, you'll think that there will always be a chance.. that we'll end up together. Then, when you end up getting into a relationship-- I'll act mad but secretly, I didn't care about you. I was on to the next one a long time ago. This kind of random is never satisfied. They love attention and crave it from people in general. RUN from this random. You'll look up and they'll end up married to someone else. THEY NEVER WANTED YOU. IF THEY DID.. they would have pursued you.. God's way.

2. Commitment Probe Random- This random HATES commitment. They'll date you but as soon as you get "too close" for their comfort, they'll RUN. They have been hurt so much in their past that the thought of committing to someone their whole life scares them. OR they'll date you for 10 years and it will never be the "right" time to get engaged. They'll make excuses forever until you get sick & tired & give them a deadline. COURT with a purpose. Everything and everybody needs to have some type of PURPOSE in your life. IF they have no purpose.. they gotta go. 

3. Charming Random- This random.. is a CHARMER. They make everyone feel good about themselves. They have a way with words, has "swag", can dress, is usually the popular kid and is a big time FLIRT. Dating this random will put you in positions where you're often telling them to STOP talking to other people of the opposite sex in the way that they do. You'll argue about their many friends of the opposite sex & they just won't ever get the memo. They'll blame you as they continue to flirt with the entire world & roll their eyes at you. They will eventually despise you because you'll never accept their need for attention and the attention you give them.. is not enough. 

4. Clinging Random- This random.. loves to make you their god. That's a strong word, right? Well, this random does EVERYTHING for you. Cooks, cleans, stays the night often, wants to be with you 24-7, calls you the second they have any issue and pretty much replaces YOU with God. I mean, why do they need God if they have YOU who responds to their many emotional needs? They REFUSE to finally give God their heart and blame you & everyone else for their unhappiness. God is VERY clear in Exodus 20:3-- "there should be NO other God but Me." If that PERSON wants to be FIRST to God-- they have to GO. This random is also really controlling because they feel like you are all they have. Remember, don't BE a void filler. That's God's responsibility.These relationships end with a ton of screaming, crying & drama.

5. Random with a trillion chicks or guys- Yeah, you know. Its the guy or girl that has a little black book of people from Elementary that they can just reach out to at will that will fill their little emotional and sexual needs. Is it right? Heck no! But they end up falling for you... and find it way to hard to really commit to just one person. So you become their main squeeze with a plethora of other side chicks or guys. You have to sneak around and look at their cell phones and Facebook page messages often because they just cannot be trusted. They feel like they have SO many options.. they cannot just possible settle with you. Let's all be clear-- this random needs some time ALONE to get whole with GOD before they try to get into a relationship with YOU.

6. Sorta Random Christian- This random.. goes to church on Sunday but is at the club on Saturday night. They sleep around, curse, dress half naked and refuse to change their life. This person wears the title of a Christian but NOTHING about their life identifies that they really trust God & that they live for Him. This random will PULL you off the chair and CONFUSE you because they were just at church with you.. praying in tongues and then right after church.. they are trying to pull off your clothes behind clothes doors.  This random isn't completely sold that God's way is the best way so they work real hard & try to figure out their life & call it God but in all honesty.. God has NOTHING to do with it. RUN from this random quickly. You need to see some FRUIT in their life & some standards before you kick it with them.

7. Play-House Random- This Random wants you to stay the night 24-7, cook, clean, call you "wifey" or "hubby" but refuses to propose. This person wants to sleep with you, make a ton of babies and pretend to be married but not really commit to you. They want all the benefits of marriage and quickly tell you.. "things are perfect-- why do we need to change it with a piece of paper-- we know in our "hearts" we're married"-- FAIL. HUSBANDS get HUSBAND treatment and BOYFRIENDS get BOYFRIEND treatment. Same goes for girlfriend treatment. I'm jus saying'. 

8. Immature Random- This random.. is so immature it drives you nuts. They REFUSE to change and they blame everything on you and everyone that hurt them since they were 5. They refuse to take ANY responsibility for any of the arguments and when you tell them what you want in a relationship, they refuse to meet your needs. They're selfish. This random will drive you nuts because you just want them to really see themselves and grow up already. If you're dating one of these.. you'll develop greatly in patience. If they're a good guy or girl, just stay on your face before God & let Him work on them. Respond in love.

9. Critical Random- This random crushes all of your ideas and visions. They don't believe ANY of the passions in your heart and think you're crazy. If you hang around the long enough-- you'll begin to believe the lie and  your confidence will dropsignificantly. YOUR job is never good enough for this random. They want you to be a doctor or something.. anything BUT what you're doing now. Your job values you to this random.  They'll try to change EVERYTHING about your look because you need to make them look good .. so you're too skinny, too fat, too this too that. They tell you it's because they care for you.. but in all honestly, they don't believe in you. Lets all be clear, you have enough issues to deal with in this world, you don't need to be with someone that doesn't respect you & really LISTEN & love you. 

10. Ex-Relationship Random- This random is your ex boo. You've been on & off forever & you still sleep together every now & then. You know that you aren't supposed to be together but you're torn. You know they ain't no good but you want to feel good about yourself & your lonely. This random fills your little voids. So when you want to feel pretty or not deal with your emotions, you call each other. But deep down, you know it's over. You had nothing in common and you GREW apart because you fit each others DYSFUNCTION. SO STOP RUNNING BACK TO THAT EX. You want to know how to get free? Finally make the decision and CUT THEM OFF. Guard your heart.. Proverbs 4:23.

These randoms want you to miss them, text them, call them, Facebook them.. for they have planted seeds to wheel you in. They planted seeds in YOU and so many others. So if you really want to know, you're not the only ONE.  You see, a random finds value in their many options and they like attention and wish that they can take bits and pieces of people and make one. They aren't satisfied with JUST you alone.. if they were, they would have committed to you & figured it out.

 THE PERSON THAT GOD HAS FOR YOU WILL MEASURE UP!!!!! It's vital that we don't RUN to these randoms for fulfillment that ONLY comes from GOD alone. YES, God can change the above randoms and as I said before-- these are examples. You could be in a relationship with someone who is a bit immature, but he's growing and changing and you believe that God led you to that relationship. Great. Lets all remember that our focuses.. cannot be on "getting us a man or a woman"-- our eyes must stay on Christ. Don't let these little distractions KEEP you from doing what God is calling you to do. And yes, a relationship can wipe you out. 

That man or woman should PUSH you towards Christ.. not away from Him.


10 Ways For Moms To Respect Their Daughters


Respect for daughters has its roots in the same place respect for sons does: the image-bearing equality that both sexes reflect given at creation (Gen. 1:27). That said, respect just looks different in some ways for daughters who are growing into women than respect for sons who are growing into men.
Respect is a deep admiration for someone elicited by his or her abilities, qualities, or achievements. This honor is not shown because of gender or deservedness but because of love and grace, specifically, love and grace that find their origins and power in Jesus Christ. Treating daughters with respect trains them to be women who offer respect to others. It models for them that they have dignity, value, and worth because God created them. It urges them to grace others with respect because God loves and values his creation.

SIMILAR AND DIFFERENT

Respecting daughters has some similarities with respecting sons. I have seen, however, in my daughter, a different core heart desire. She deeply desires to be loved and the deep admiration of respect is most profoundly felt for her in words and acts of love. She is comforted and secured by the knowledge that God and her parents love her.

PRACTICALLY, HERE ARE 10 WAYS THAT RESPECT CAN BE LIVED OUT FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS:

1. LAVISH HER WITH LOVE

That deep longing for love was designed for God to fill. Lavish your daughter with love while continually pointing out that her heavenly Father is the one where love originated. You love because he loves; she is loved because he loves her more than you ever could (1 John 4:10).

2. HELP HER TO LEARN SUBMISSION

Submission isn’t just for wives. We are all called to submit our hearts and lives to God (James 4:7) and the earlier your daughter sees that in you, the sooner she will rest in the sweet protection of God’s will for her life.

3. TEACH HER TO TAME HER EMOTIONS

Big feelings are hard to manage. The devastation over losing something, anything from a favorite earring to a dear friend, can be all-consuming. Daughters need to be instructed and discipled in expressing emotion without being owned and identified by those emotions.

4. DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN TRUTH AND LIES

In my own heart and my daughters, I have watched the battle play out time and time again. We are easily lured into the snare of unbelief. Urging your daughter to verbalize the thoughts in her head will allow you the opportunity to separate what is true and what is untrue with her. Apply the truth of Scripture to the distortions that your daughter may be believing about God, you, or herself.

5. INVOLVE DAD

A daughter’s relationship with her dad is a source of great joy or heartache. He plays an integral part in treating her with respect and teaching her what respect from a man looks like. Regular daddy dates and heartfelt conversation with him helps her trust and respect a man. If Dad is not present or available, seek a godly man in your church who would give your daughter the respect of his time.

6. EMPHASIZE INNER BEAUTY

While there are few more purely sweet moments in life than dressing your daughter in a frilly pink dress and putting her hair in pigtails, teach her that true beauty and respect come from a changed heart. Jesus transforms ugly hearts, emotions, and attitudes into beautiful reflections of himself.

7. DEVELOP HER VOICE

Our girls need to be given opportunities to grow into and speak about who they are and what they believe so they can articulate themselves to the world. Speak with her often about what the Bible has to say about her joy or crisis of the moment. Help her express herself clearly about what she is thinking or feeling.

8. MODEL FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS

You are not her friend as an equal, but you can be friendly in a way that she trusts. Enjoy each other in a mother-daughter friendship. Give her plenty of opportunity to foster female friendships so she can experience being known, loved, and helped by godly women. This is an invaluable life experience that will serve her well.

9. NAME SIN BIBLICALLY

These last two principles are no different for girls than boys. What may be different are the sins that your daughters are prone to, as their hearts may struggle in more feelings-oriented or relational ways. Differentiate between childish foolishness and downright rebellion. Instruct the former and correct the latter. Name their sin with accurate descriptions from Scripture so they can repent. Moodiness is vague, while demonstrating a quiet, gentle, spirit is specific and pleasing to God (1 Peter 3:4).

10. NAME CHARACTER BIBLICALLY

Read to them and have them study passages of Scripture that speak to women (1 Peter 3 and Titus 2). Be careful not to turn passages of Scripture into to-do lists that your daughters strive to accomplish on their own. Have them memorize passages of Scripture that describes their identity and riches available to them in Christ (Ephesians 1) so they can rejoice.
Respecting our daughters will instill in them a respect for the cross as they receive grace and forgiveness from their sins and develop the capacity to offer that same respect to the men and women they are in relationship with. Deep respect for Christ is the well from which respect for and from our daughters will flow.

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