Fight Like a Girl

“I've trained harder, I'm better, I'm stronger, the blood of a champion runs through my veins, I've earned this opportunity, I'll earn this victory, I've already won.” Laila "She Bee Stingin", Ali

There is nothing like a good fight. Especially if you’re on the bottom, and you feel like you’re losing. Have you ever been there? There is a point in life where it may seem as if all of the odds are against you. As I’ve said before, “Life happens”. And what do you do when you are on the bottom of the bottom looking up at the bottom? What do you do when you are at the top of your game and you have a career threatening injury?

The year 2012 for me has been one of holding on to what I know is true and healing from the challenges of 2011. To the natural eye it would seem as if 2012 was really a waste of time. 2011 was so devastatingly horrible, that it took whole 12 months to recover. I have taken 12 months to retrain my body, mind and spirit. It has taken me an entire 365 days to heal from the previous year’s landed punches and wounds. I can now without a doubt say that I am battle tested. I have spent this year reflecting on who I am, what I believe, and what I am to become. The bell has rung in between rounds, I have retreated to my corner, I have rested from my labor, I have received counsel from my trainer, I have gotten more Vaseline on my cuts and my gloves have been re-laced. I am ready to go. 2013 is here and now it is now time to FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!

Whether you choose to believe it or not, we are in a battle daily. If you profess Jesus Christ as the only begotten Son of God and Him as the Lord of your life, the bell has rung and the fight has intensified. Before you confessed Christ as Lord, you were still in a fight; you just did not have the proper training and weapons to ensure victory. The art of fighting a spiritual battle is different from a street fight or even a professional boxing match. This type of battle will not be won by sheer force, good foot work, or even by having the better left hook. For the type of fight we are in, there is a requirement of both finesse and fortitude. You may liken these requirements to having the grace of a gazelle and the determination of Job. Fighting like a girl will require you to use the fruit of the spirit called self-control and to be consistently diligent in the things of God. Fighting like a girl requires activity at a certain pace, but also the patience to understand that there is no deadline on your commitments. To F-I-G- H–T like a girl means that you have fortitude, pray in intercession, operate in gentleness, remain holy, and trust the Lord your God.

In the face of a great challenge, the Prophet Isaiah said, “For the Lord God helps me, therefore, I am not disgraced; therefore, I have set my face like flint, and I know that I will not be ashamed.” (Isaiah 49: 7). Flint is a hard stone which produces a spark when struck with steel. There is no deterring flint. If you mess around with it too much, you will cause a fire to start. To fight like a girl, you will need this same determination. This attitude says that regardless of the circumstances, I am persuaded to challenge that which is challenging me. I will confront the very issues of my life with the word of God. Through prayer and great intercession, I will follow the plan for my life that was so wonderfully designed by the master architect.

I will love my enemies and will practice that which is holy and righteous. Lastly, I will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not alone and that no weapon formed against me will prosper. That is not to say that the weapon will not be formed, but that the fight is fixed. When you are in Christ, the victory is assured. King David said in Psalm 23:5 “you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”. Can you picture that? The best laid feast is prepared for you by God to show your enemies just who He is and who you are in Him. The prepared table uses the best china and silver. The prepared table has beautifully ordinate glasses and linens. There is no room for paper plates, plastic cups, plastic spoons, forks, and knives. Your enemies will look and be amazed at how you have been favored in the face of great challenge.

Verse 4 of Psalm 23 says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil”. Walking through the valley leads to a prepared table. (PRAISE BREAK!!). Fighting like a girl means that you have to get to the other side to obtain the promise of more than enough from the One who declared it to be so. Walking through the valley also leads to being anointed with oil and a cup which runs over. Processing and proper transition through the issues of life have an added benefit of becoming anointed. The more pressed you are, the more anointed you become. When you are anointed, the things that come at you next will have to either change because of contact or slide off.

In 2013, prepare for the fight of your life. Play your theme song. I have two, which I highly recommend. Freedom by Eddie James is a great war cry song. I especially love the version on the Onething Live – Holy to the Lord compilation. Then there is Tasha Cobbs’ newest release Break Every Chain. So, warm up your arms and legs. Roll your neck and shoulders. Throw a few punches. Let’s get ready to RUMBLE!!!

Growing Up

By Nikki Johnson

I’m not ready. Nope. I’m not. Ugh. Ok, so my son received four emails over the weekend from colleges expressing their interest in him.  My phone rang and all I heard was “MOM!!!!!”  I thought something terribly drastic happened in the 10 minutes that passed, since I left my house.  Bless his heart.  He was so excited. He was talking so fast I had to ask him twice what happened.  He read each email to me. They were form letters that I’m sure are sent to all students who bubble in the space on those standardized tests to indicate they are interested in attending an institution of higher learning.  While I was excited that he was excited, I became keenly aware that my baby is not my baby anymore.

I am a single parent who actually enjoys the parenting process.  And while I understand that parenting never stops, it does change and transition in dimensions.  My son and I are close but he is by no means a “mama’s boy”.  We have different interests and are not joined at the hip.  The idea of him going away for school is not the scariest part for me.  The scariest part is that he is growing up and maturing into all that I have prayed for him to be.  What do you do when your prayers are answered?

For the longest time, my only identity has been “Nic’s Mom”.  That’s what the kids in elementary school used to call me.  I did not have a name until I began teaching the 1-5 year olds at church.  Now, I’m “Ms. Nikki”.  I thank God that He has kept us this far. The challenges have been great.  We’ve grown and matured together. My son makes me a better person. He makes me learn patience and compassion.  Those are graces and gifts that he walks in. Please believe that those are not things that I’ve taught him.  He came here from the heart of God with the ability to love unconditionally, walk with people who are not like him, and endure the challenges of a chronic health condition with a smile and sense of humor unrivaled.  This new phase of life is scary.

While change is constant, I am not always prepared for it when it happens. I am having a full on confrontation with the reality that my son is becoming a man, full of truth and revelation and growing in the things of God.  I can totally relate to Mary, the mother of Jesus.  I wish I could ask her a few questions. "Mary, did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water?" OK, so I won’t sing today, but that is totally how I am feeling.

My best friend looked me straight in my eyes, yesterday, as I shared my distress and her words of comfort were “it goes by fast too…”  I know that she loves me, but she was no help at all.  Her only child just left for her first year of college, so I expected for her to share my angst.  I guess I have to put on my big girl pants and suck it up.  I want to whine and fight and moan and groan about how I am so not ready for this but no one in my life will let me. I have to grow up. Selah.

Single parenthood is an assignment. Anybody who says different is a LIAR. While all parenting requires sacrifice, single parenting requires a double portion of grace, mercy, love, patience, kindness, and time.  I have faced the fact that I am one person and that being Superwoman is not a part of the job description. Single parenting has required a level of flexibility and adaptation to change that most do not have an opportunity to experience. I do a great job. I am by no means perfect, nor do I have all of the answers.  I am making up the answers as I go along most of the time. Through clear biblical instruction, I flow whichever way the Holy Spirit leads and I don’t always know where we are going to end up. Sometimes I get it and other times I miss it.

The fun part is the adventure of it all and knowing that if we get lost, God’s GPS works. He knows how to find us and put us back on the right track. Planning is a key part of my parenting process; however, even in planning, I’ve learned not to be rigid and inflexible because life can be unpredictable.  At the end of the day, I am satisfied with the reality that while the work of molding a life may be a dual function, it should be singular in focus to say that “God is God” above all.  In that, we are growing, maturing, shaping, enduring, overcoming, achieving and giving God the glory in the process.

Hold On and Free Fall

Life Happens. For how long you ask. For as long as you continue to live, life will happen. And not only does life happens, it comes at you…FAST. Does it seem like one thing after another thing after another thing keeps coming at you? That’s what I call LIFE. The past 12 months for me have been just that - a succession of major life events. This time last year I was dealing with both of my parents being in the hospital in South Carolina at the same time (mind you they had been divorced for over 30 years but in some strange twist of events they were in the same hospital on two different floors at the same time). My mother was having another bout with intestinal blockage that yet again needed to be surgically removed and my father was diagnosed with cancer. On the other hand, my son was here in North Carolina, battling another sickle cell disease crisis in the hospital. Did I mention that I am an only child and a single parent?

My mother got better but my father passed away almost a month later after being diagnosed with cancer. It was quick. He was here one day and gone the next. We didn’t have much time to make peace with any of it. His kidneys began to fail on October 31, 2011 and he transitioned into his eternal resting place with the Father on November 3, 2011. 4 days. That was it; much too fast to say goodbye to a daddy’s girl’s heart. Life happened.

Later in the month of November, I found myself in the hospital emergency room with a sky high blood pressure. The pressure of mourning, loving, healing, working, and taking care of a growing teenager, started to affect my health. In December 2011, my son was back in the hospital having another sickle cell crisis. In January 2012, my father’s older brother died and in February 2012 I was laid off of a job that I had been on for the last 5 years. All the while, I remained a faithful servant in my local ministry as a teacher of preschool age children, ages 1-3. A succession of nights was happening so fast that the joy that comes in the morning seemed like a fleeting breath of nothingness.

So what do you do? I really can’t tell you any one thing that I did. There were people around me speaking life in to my very existence. Not that any of them had been through what I was going through in the way that I was going through it. No, God reserved this process just for me. I would say to a close friend, “I don’t know who I can talk to about all of this because I don’t know anybody who has had to juggle and balance all that I’m going through at the same time”. I felt like Job with none of his patience. I was done but I couldn’t give up. Not that I didn’t want to give up, I couldn’t. It was physically impossible for me to quit. And then it happened. Another friend who was going through the pain of losing family members back to back said to me “Hold on to your faith”. So simple but yet ever powerful.

There is an adage that says “When you get at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on”. I always question what do you do when your grip starts slipping? What do you do when the knot starts to unravel? I say let go. Yes. LET GO. Let go and free fall into God. Tumble, glide, jump, leap, sail, dive, into the arms of the loving, patient, all-knowing God. It may not be as graceful as an Olympic diver’s dive. It may, in fact, look like you are jumping from a skyscraper that is ablaze. Do whatever you have to do to allow the Great Jehovah to catch you. It is a scary feeling. It is terrifying. You have to learn to trust that the God that allowed the trouble to hit is the same God whose name is above every name. He is the same God above every situation. He is the same God above sickness, disease, and even death. He is the daddy of the daddy of the daddy’s girl. He is the protector and defender of the weak. I learned that when I am weak, that’s when I’m strong because the Christ in me is the Hope of Glory.

Hold on to your faith, but if you have to let go, let go in God. May your mourning be turned to gladness. May you dance in the knowledge and understanding that your test is your testimony. Not after the fact, but in the middle of your mess, someone is getting a message straight from the heavenlies. I’m learning that strength comes. You may fall apart and that is perfectly okay because the one who made you knows how to put you back together again. He is the King. You may feel like Humpty Dumpty for a short while but you don’t have his dilemma. You will be put back together again. You will be stronger. You will be healthier. You will be wiser. You will have more compassion. Your life will have added value. Life may have happened to you but you will have conquered the obstacles and earned the badge of honor. Yes you may have painful battle scars, but the end result will be a faith filled life that will encourage the next soldier. Keep pushing. Keep praying. Keep Believing. Hold on to your faith!

Practical Application:

Rest. Easy to say. Hard to do. My body literally said to me “Go sit your behind down somewhere!” You absolutely will kill yourself trying to do a balancing beam act where there is no balance. The best thing you can do is lay down. You have to get into a space where you can clear the maze and race that is going on in your mind. A rest period every day is vital. There is nothing like a mid-afternoon nap. Even if for only 15 minutes.
Exercise also helps with this process. Take a walk or run, do Yoga, take an exercise class, ride a bike. Any activity that will increase your heart rate will help. This will cause an increase in endorphin's which help to lift your mood. You will see a return in your energy and endurance.
Let the tears flow. There is a cleansing that happens when you cry. Yes eventually, you have to dry your eyes, but you are allowed to feel the emotions. Feel every emotion. Good, bad, or indifferent, the emotions are yours. Humans are triune beings. We spirit, body, and soul. Our mind, will and emotions are housed in our soul. Even the Bible declares that Jesus wept. So who are you to believe that you should not experience the varying emotions that come with being processed.



by Nikki Johnson