I'm Single and I'm Giving Up

God has given us a desire for each other and a desire to be married. God has placed those desires in everyone so that a man will go out and pursue a woman, and make her his wife, and a girl will be happily pursued. It is completely normal to want to be married. Marriage is a system that God set up and ordained.

Marriage is a beautiful picture of the gospel. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Wives are commanded to submit themselves to their husbands as the church submits itself to the Lord. As the woman submits to her husband and her husband submits to the Word and to the Lord, the gospel is shown to all who look on their marriage.. and God is glorified.

So, what about the rest of us? I don’t want to miss the chance to live out the gospel for the world. I want a life that proclaims the glory of God. What about me? What about now?

In 1 Corinthians chapter 7, Paul speaks about marriage and singleness, and what he says may surprise you. He doesn’t say, “get married,” and he doesn’t say, “stay single.” He says, “Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.” (vs 27) Um, well what does that mean? It means, “Hey, both are good….chill out!”

Singleness is not a curse- it is grace. It’s not about being married or single. It’s about trusting God in whatever state you are. If you are married, be content. If you are single, be content. And if you seek fulfillment in Christ, you will find it.

Paul goes on to say,

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (vs 32-34)

Singleness is an incredible and exceptional privilege. The gospel says you do not need anyone but God to complete you, and while marriage is a picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, singleness also portrays the gospel powerfully in that the Christian’s ultimate identity is in Christ alone.

Think of all the things that you can do focusing all your energy on Christ right now instead of caring for an entire family. Oh, Christian, there are spiritual battles to engage in right now. There are such important fights to be fought for the glory of God, and right now, you are free to focus on these battles. Right now, you have a job to do– a job that could not be done if you were married– a job that will bring God the most glory if you do it now, while you are single.

The sole purpose for our lives is not marriage, it is the glory of God.

Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it! Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. He is it. He is enough. No one will truly complete you except Him.

I’d love to tell you that I am a spiritual giant who never struggles with loneliness or never looks up and says, “God, whatcha doin’?” Because, unfortunately, it’s not true. This was not my plan. This was never my plan, but let me tell you, God rarely does it the way WE think He should. Are we willing to trade our timeline for the schedule of the Author of time? Are we willing to give up our tiny plans for the very dreams of God? Are we willing to give our lives, our entire lives here on earth, for HIS glory?

Do you think it was David’s plan to fight Goliath or become King of Israel? Do you think it was Daniel’s plan to be thrown into a den of lions? Do you think it was Moses’s plan to wander in the wilderness with God’s people for most of his life?

What about Mary? I mean, if Mary was willing to give up her dreams of a perfect wedding and have a baby out of wedlock who would eventually save the world, I think I can give up my plan, my timeline, the way I thought that it should go, and surrender it to God. I think I can let go of what I think is best to really have the perfect way of God. I can really be content with what He sends my way because I don’t want to miss out on proclaiming His glory the exact way He planned me to do it. I can be content with the opportunities that He sends my way to live the gospel out in front of the world, and I can trust the heart and wisdom of my God to direct my life and work everything for my good and His glory.

Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop looking. Do stop stressing. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are running out of time. Because when the Author of time deems it right for you to fall in love and be married, then you will, and it will be magnificent.

I’m single and I’m giving up– giving it all up to God. Won’t you do the same?

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalm 18:30-32





Lauren DeMoss is a 26 year old teacher at a Christian school in New England. Having grown up in a christian home, she knows the struggles of christian girls and the pull of the world on their hearts. By God’s grace, she also knows the peace and love of a life given completely to Jesus Christ. Through her writing, she desires to point people to Jesus, encourage, and inspire her generation and the next to be fully abandoned to their Savior. It is really all about Him. Check out her site at TheFulltimeGirl.Com.

Drama, Drama, Drama. . .

We all know that one person who is consumed with focusing on the negative. They are always bent on seeing the bad in situations or looking for the faults in others. Quite frankly, someone who is all drama. We can’t expect to have happy beautiful lives if we are that person- always seeing the glass as half empty or presuming the bad in every situation or using people’s faults against them as a means of manipulation. For some this is a security blanket pointing out others faults in order to draw focus away from their own or draw attention to how good they are themselves. For some it is an issue or jealousy, but always, always it is a heart problem. How do I know if I am that person? Let’s get honest with ourselves here:

Do I always seem to be focusing on the bad in a situation?

Do I twist a situation to make is seem worse than it really is?

Do I presume that others have evil motives when I really don’t know?

Do I use gossip or criticism to gain control of others?

Am I genuinely concerned about the people I focus on or am I looking for the latest gossip?

Do I point out others faults simply to draw attention to myself?

At times, we all have a natural tendency toward drama. If left unchecked, we could become this Debbie Downer that no one wants to be around. The key is really being honest with ourselves about our behavior, and really wanting to do what is right in the eyes of God.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

If we really were to think on those things at all times, would we have time for gossip? Problems will arise. We are all humans, but if we are thinking on the things of God, it will be a whole lot easier to handle drama or gossip on a loving way and treat one another with grace.

Think about all the bad things God could say about us. He knows every bad thing we have ever done. He could certainly hold that against us if he wanted to.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I am not perfect, and neither are you, and it would do us a lot of good to remember that. God has given us amazing grace. That certainly doesn’t mean he turns his head away from our sin or that he allows us to get away with bad behavior. He dealt with our sin very severely in Christ on the cross. However, it does mean that all that he does in dealing with our sin as his children is to bring us back into his arms.

"Our grace for others is directly proportional to our understanding of the grace we have received from God."

When we hear a bit of gossip or a way in which someone else has stumbled, are we genuinely concerned with their relationship with God and doing what we can to bring them back to Jesus? Or are we concerned with having something to tell our friends or hold over someone else’s head? Will we use it as a source to draw attention to ourselves or to Jesus Christ?

Maybe you are thinking, “Yeah, I wish so-and-so would read this. They can’t seem to keep me out of their drama.” Well, just like they have to stop focusing on the negative in life, so do you. You have to stop focusing on them. Bottom line is that you can not control the actions of others. You can only control your own actions.  Everyone is ultimately responsibly for their own stuff.

 If you seem to be stuck in someone else’s dramatic episode all the time, pray for them, seek godly counsel about the situation, kindly speak to that person about what is going on, and if you can’t ever seem to stay out of their drama, stay away from them.

There is nothing more tiring than being the center of someone else’s gossip. But life is what you focus on. Start thinking about pure and lovely and true things, focus on your relationship with God and what he has called you to do. Focus on all the blessings God has given you. Focus on all the people you love and that genuinely love you. Stop feeding their addiction by allowing yourself to be affected by their sin.

"Stop watering the weeds in your life, and start watering the flowers."

If you discover that you are the source of drama or manipulation, big or small, ask God to forgive you, cleanse you, and remove it from your life. Ask Him to retrain your thought life, habits, and attitudes. Consider counseling with a godly accountability partner. Write down areas where you can improve your behavior in your relationships. No matter how enslaved to wrong behavior you may feel, God is bigger, His grace is greater, and He is always able and willing to give us more grace to help us become a radiant, shining example of His unending grace and beauty. Trust Him with your heart today and every day.

Lauren DeMoss is a 26 year old teacher at a Christian school in New England. Having grown up in a christian home, she knows the struggles of christian girls and the pull of the world on their hearts. By God’s grace, she also knows the peace and love of a life given completely to Jesus Christ. Through her writing, she desires to point people to Jesus, encourage, and inspire her generation and the next to be fully abandoned to their Savior. It is really all about Him. Check out her site at TheFulltimeGirl.Com.

Relationship Status: (Still) Single

Guest post by Lauren DeMoss

This has been a question that has been asked to me very often especially lately so I thought I would wear my heart on my sleeve here and address it so that everyone will know…. and maybe be reminded,  learn, or be encouraged.

Q: How do you handle being single so well?

There is no magical formula for making it easy “to be single,” and anyone who says that it is easy, is lying to you. God wants us to be content with all that He has given us, yes, however, God does not require us to achieve some super spiritual state of mind that is “content” with being single in order for Him to give us a significant other. For some people, that may very well happen, but for the vast majority, it is just not going to. If we are seeking Him, God has given us a desire for each other and a desire to be married. God has placed those desires in everyone so that a man will GO out and pursue a woman, and make her his wife, and a girl will be happily pursued. It is completely normal to want to be married. Marriage is a system that God set up and ordained. God wants us to be married, and raise good families for His glory.

For His glory.

Yup. I think that’s the key, people. You see, I have come to the realization that if I could serve God better and bring Him more glory married, then, I would be married right now at this very moment. So even though sometimes I don’t like to admit it, God knows better than I do. I could try to convince Him otherwise all I want, but He knows the perfect timing for everything in our lives. If we are living to serve Him, then He will take care of it! Right now, you have a job to do. A job that could not be done if you were married. A job that will bring God the MOST glory if you do it now, while you are single.

Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it!

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:25-33

Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. {Click here to read more} He is enough, anyways. No one will truly complete you except Him.

“Jesus Christ – not guys [or girls]– must always remain the center of our existence. When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guys[or girls] no longer dominate our thinking, our actions, and our decisions. Rather, the Lover of our soul captivates us so completely that every guy we meet clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number one Prince of our heart. A truly godly man longs for a woman with a Christ-consumed heart.” -Leslie Ludy

I’d love to tell you that I am a spiritual giant who never struggles with loneliness or never looks up and says, “God, whatcha doin’??” Because, unfortunately, it’s not true, but the answer is simple.

Not easy, but simple.

Trust God.

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Do you believe that? Then tell yourself this everyday. We may know what looks “good” for us, but God knows what is BEST. The reason we are not supposed to lean on our own understanding is that we don’t really know what we are doing. However, HIS way is perfect.

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalm 18:30-32

He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. Psalm 145:19

Delight yourself also in the LORD; and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

No one is bigger or better than God. Period. Claim His promises. Find them! There are SO many! Our times are in His hands. He knows the beginning from the end. We know his timing is perfect.

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop looking. Do stop stressing. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are running out of time. Because when God, who is the very Author of time, deems it right for you to fall in love and be married, then you will, and it will be magnificent.

Lastly, don’t settle. I will be single forever before I settle for someone who will not raise my family in all the standards of my God. Go to the Bible and find out all the qualities a man and woman of God is supposed to have. Be those things, and then, look for those things in others. Pray for God to direct your steps in everything, and He will fulfill the desires He has placed in you. If you long for a spouse with a Christ-centered heart, that desire is straight from God, and He has promised to fulfill it.

I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. Ecclesiastes 3:14

Stop worrying so much. Take heart, God knows what He is doing. He has a plan, and now is a part of that plan too. Don’t waste your time wishing things were different. Don’t settle for less than God’s best. Trust His timing. He is so so much bigger than you and your dreams, and His words are true. Don’t stop believing them. It will be worth it.




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NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Special thanks to Lauren, for sharing this post with our readers. This post was originally published on her site, TheFulltimeGirl.Com. We know our readers will be blessed by it. You can now read the full article here or there.

Lauren DeMoss is a 26 year old teacher at a Christian school in New England. Having grown up in a christian home, she knows the struggles of christian girls and the pull of the world on their hearts. By God’s grace, she also knows the peace and love of a life given completely to Jesus Christ. Through her writing, she desires to point people to Jesus, encourage, and inspire her generation and the next to be fully abandoned to their Savior. It is really all about Him. Check out her site at TheFulltimeGirl.Com.

Stop Waiting. Start Living

Growing up, I had always dreamed of finding the guy of my dreams, falling in love, getting married, and living happily ever after. That was the goal. That is when my life would begin.

Well, the years went by with still no luck in relationships, and I started to think, I am in my 20′s….. and I may not be married till I am in my 30′s, and I am waiting to “begin my life” until my wedding day. Will I someday look back on my younger years and think that I wasted them? Wasted them wishing for a guy to come save me…wishing for a life someone else had… wishing for my fairy tale ending?

No. Not me. I will not waste these days, because I will not get them back. There are things I can do, and focus on, and strive for right now that I would not get to do if I was married with children. God has a plan for this time, and I will not miss it, by wishing my life away or feeling bad for myself when I am right where God wants me.

This life is not about me.

I am not promised tomorrow. I could die before I ever get married…. or I may possibly never get married. It may just not be in God’s plan. Could I be content with my life if that happened?

It is all about Him. The end. Not getting the stuff we want out of serving Him.

Everyone wants it. That perfect relationship. The one where he calls you beautiful, and special, and his. The one where everything reminds you of that person. The one where when you spend time together, you are completely happy and at peace. The one where you just know…. you just know that you were meant for each other.

He is my perfect forever relationship. I have found who I was meant for… and, here is the cool part, you are meant for Him too. Each and every one of us were meant for God. You and God were literally made for each other.

No, really and seriously, you were made FOR God, and made to be with Him. He made you for Himself.

I can not tell you the freedom came when I realized that God is my other half…. and not just until someone better comes along. It is not about getting what we want out of God, It is about being completely His.

You were created to bring Him pleasure with your fellowship, with your singing, with your beauty, with your praise, with your love.

He is the One for you. He is our true love, our fulfillment, and our joy.

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God. 1 John 3:1a

And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power. Colossians 2:10

So many of us are searching for that person here on earth. We are waiting for a somebody to come along and fill the void. We look for a completer piece to an emptiness in our hearts that was meant for God alone to fill, and until we discover this, we will not be whole, relationship or not.

You were made perfectly by God with everything you need to bring Him joy and glory. He made your face exactly how he loves it. He gave you the perfect hair, skin, and teeth to bring a smile to his face. Your personality is just right for Him. When He looks at you, He is enthralled with your beauty. He is always there to listen and give the best and most perfect answer.

Out of all of God’s creations, you are one of His very favorites.

He longs to have a relationship with you. He longs for you to know His love. He longs to fill your heart, and give you peace and satisfaction with His promises and comforts found in His word. It pleases Him to be number one in our hearts, and to obey His words out of a heart of love.

He loves you more than anyone you have ever known on earth with a love you could not even imagine. He is your other half. Fall in love with Jesus. That’s it. He offers so much more than anyone in this world ever could give, and it is a relationship better than any you will ever know.

A human being on earth can never fulfill what was meant to be filled by the one you were made for, and it will destroy your relationships if you expect them to. You will have a miserable life and marriage if that relationship is where you find your identity….. even if it hasn’t happened yet.

God will never leave you or forsake you. He comforts, and restores. He leads you and guides you. He is your best friend, and your closest ally. He knows you the best and loves you the most.

The LORD has appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved you with an everlasting love: therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3

God is the end. He is our happy ending. Christ is our goal. A husband is great and a blessing from God, and there is nothing wrong with getting married. I certainly still want to… but, if God has chosen to keep me for Himself, and to be completely and solely His for a while longer…. or even forever, I can be content with that. It even makes me feel special. Because I am made whole, filled up, and complete… and in love with Him. Because, even after marriage, no one will complete me and fulfill me like Jesus does.

There will be a wedding one day, more beautiful than we could ever imagine, when our Prince will come. When a nail-scarred hand will reach out and take ours, and lead us through the gates of heaven to forever be with our Bride-groom. This is the wedding day that is our goal.. that is the happy ending, and that day is only the beginning. This is the day that should give us butterflies in our stomachs, and this is the day we should be preparing ourselves for.

So… Stop waiting, and start living. Start living for the One who loves you. Start falling more in love with Him everyday. Start finding your everything in His arms. Stop wasting your days pining over whats not in God’s plan yet. Stop waiting to give your everything to someone else. Fall in love with Jesus, and give your everything to Him.

Your life is now.