When Lonely is Your Only Best Friend

I'm sure we have all felt that cold, dark feeling of loneliness at least one point in our lives. It's the feeling that you can get in a quiet room by yourself, or even in a crowd full of people. It's the feeling that can come along from being different than others, from feeling as if you have no one.

There has been many times in my life when I have felt this way. Since I am more of an introvert, I'd rather have a few close friends than several friends. I'd rather stay at home and write rather than hang out with my friends all weekend. But because of this, and because of the fact that I am different from others my age, there has been several times when I have felt as if I have no one. When I have felt completely alone.

However, I have learned that loneliness isn't a feeling that disappears once you make a few friends. There are some people who may have several friends yet still feel as if they have no one. This is because humans cannot ultimately fill the emptiness inside of you. Loneliness is a hole that only has room for God.

When you feel as if you have no one, realize that this is only a lie from the enemy. You have all you ever need in Christ. When you feel lonely, remember that God is there. He is always with you. (Matt. 28:2)

"I cry to God to help me.

From his palace he hears my call;

My cry brings me right into his presence..." ~Psalm 18:6

Sure, it might not be easy seeing so many teenagers at your school going out every weekend. Yet despite how lonely you may feel, remember that you are never really alone. No matter how quiet it is, no matter how many friends you may have. Refuse to allow yourself to fall into this miserable state of mind. Instead, talk to God. Spend time with Him, in His presence. Use this time wisely by allowing God to become your best friend rather than the loneliness that you feel. He may be allowing you to go through this season just so you can come to know Him more.

And keep in mind that God does have great plans for you, plans that will not harm you (Jer. 29:11). Trust in Him. Trust that, although things may not be looking so great right now, this is happening for a reason. God knows exactly what you're going through and promises to never leave you nor forsake you (Deut. 31:6).

Think about Job. He had everything taken away from Him--his children, his fortune, even his health. Yet He knew that He still had everything He needed in God. That was the only thing that truly mattered. Absolutely nothing is able to separate us from God and the love that He offers (Romans 8:35-39). If you would only call upon Him, He can overwhelm you with a love so deep that will completely fill all of the emptiness inside of you. I am actually thankful for the seasons of loneliness that God has allowed me to go through, because I seriously don't think I would be where I am now in my relationship with Him.

So rather than allowing loneliness to become your best friend and wallowing yourself in self-pity, use your weakened condition to pull you closer to Christ (2 Corin. 12:9). Spend this time with Him. God is always ready to listen. He knows everything about you--including the amount of hairs on your head. He even knows you better than you know yourself. And He is trust-worthy. He is faithful. He is everything you could every long for in a best friend, in a soul-mate, and in a Father. All in One.

"I'm an open book to you;

even from a distance, you know what I am thinking.

You know when I leave and when I get back;

I'm never out of your sight.

You know everything I'm going to say

before I start the first sentence.

I look behind me and you're there,

then up ahead and you're there, too--

your reassuring presence, coming and going.

This is too much, too wonderful--

I can't take it all in!

Is there any place I can go to avoid your Spirit?

to be out of your sight?

If I climb to the sky, you're there!

If I go underground, you're there!...

Then I said to myself,"Oh, he even sees me in the dark!

At night I'm immersed in the light!"...

You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;...

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth...

~Psalm 139:2-16

Tessa Hall is a 19-year-old coffeeholic and author of Purple Moon. She is also the editor over the faith department for Temperance Magazine, as well as a contributing writer for Imagine Mag, More To Be, & Real Teen Faith. She loves acting, music, Starbucks, and her imperial Shih Tzu—who is named Brewer after a character in her book, as well as her love for coffee.

How I Learned To Love Exercise (and How You Can Too)

When I was younger, I was an athlete. I did everything from soccer to ice skating to softball and gymnastics. I lived a really active lifestyle and loved to play outside, and then one day it wasn't so fun.

At Pepperdine (well, in 2004 at least), we were required to take a PE class as part of our general education requirements. I loved it while we were learning about the body and nutrition, but it took a turn for the worst when I discovered that in order to pass the class, we would have to run for 45 minutes and swim for 30. What??

That semester, in that class, was the first time in my life when I felt out of shape. I could barely jog for 15 minutes, let alone 45. And swimming—don't even get me started on that. Like the overachiever I am and always have been, I dutifully trained so that I'd get an A in the class. But I didn't like it one bit.

Why is it that exercise loses it's fun when we grow up? Is it possible to enjoy it again and even find time for it once we become real adults with real life responsibilities and time commitments? Those are the questions I've asked myself over the years, and I'm glad to say that I finally have hit my groove and like to work out the way I did when I was a kid. Here are some of the things that helped me learn to love regular exercise—I hope you'll give them a try!

Pick a time.
Are you a morning person or a night person (or even a noontime person)? Over the next few days, take some time to observe when you feel the most physically energetic. You may be a morning person because you like to read and sip coffee, but find that nighttime is a better workout time for you—giving you the chance to stretch your legs after a long day of work. Since I hate the heat and the sun (I know, who am I?), I always plan to exercise before work. In addition to cooler weather and cloudy California morning skies, I also enjoy the post-workout high, which fuels me for the work day.

Schedule it.
Once you know the general time of day you're aiming for, put exercise on your calendar. Maybe it's just once a week to start, or maybe it's every weekday. I've found that by planning to exercise between 7:00 and 8:00 a.m., I enjoy the freedom that comes with having it planned. There is never any guilt associated with my workouts, because I know I've "budgeted" my time to fit it in.

Find your sport.
The question here is, how do you like to move? Are you a runner? A hiker? A power walker? A swimmer? A yogi? A gym-goer? If you're unsure, give several different kinds of workouts a try and see what feels like fun. Alternatively, you can also choose a sport based on convenience—after all, that's one of the reasons I decided to start running! You'll be much more likely to stick with a workout if it's easy for you to do.

Get the gear.
Nothing creates exercise eagerness quite like awesome workout gear. I'm not just talking about a good pair of shoes—which is obviously an essential, unless yoga is your thing—I'm also talking about clothes that make you feel like a superhero. Personally, everything I work out in is from Lululemon or Target, and all of my workout clothes make me feel like I could go run a marathon. That's what you're looking for! These are may all-time fitness gear favorites:

• Nike Free running shoes
• C9 by Champion sports bras (from Target)
• Lululemon Cool Racerback tank
• Lululemon Run: Speed Short
• Lululemon running tights (mine aren't available anymore, but try these)

Make a playlist.
Music goes a long way when it comes to creating a fun workout environment. Spend some time perusing iTunes for the kind of music that inspires you to move. Not sure where to start? Here are some of my current favorite workout tunes:

• Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas
• Titanium by David Guetta & Sia
• Temperature by Sean Paul
• Good Time by Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen
• Some Nights by Fun
• Too Close by Alex Clare
• As Long As You Love Me by Justin Bieber
• Home by Phillip Phillips

What don't you like about exercise? Do any of these tips inspire you to learn to love exercise?

P.S. Good news: I read an article yesterday claiming that intensive exercise for two minutes is as good for your heart as a 90 minute run! Read more here.


Photo Credit: Keeping Fit by John & Tina Reid, via Flickr

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Natalie is a lover of the written word, avocados, beach picnics and champagne. She lives in San Diego with her hilarious and charming husband Brian and scruffy puppy Maggie, and is a Managing Editor for Darling Magazine. In all she does, she strives to inspire and empower women to live healthy, confident lives of true beauty. See more of her work at www.natalielynnborton.com, and find her blogging at www.thoughtsbynatalie.com.

Butternut Squash Casserole

Guest Post by Natalie Borton

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Natalie, originally published this article on her blog, Thoughts By Natalie. You can enjoy reading this yummy recipe here or there. 

After skipping Friday dinner for several weeks due to having friends in town and going out of town, I sort of dreaded this week's dinner. It felt like such a burden and a chore, and yet in my selfishness I realized that the whole purpose behind it is to serve Brian in a loving way. Then I felt a little guilty, and decided to change my attitude.

Since it had fairly minimal ingredients and prep (two requirements for me with cooking), and looked like it would have a big "wow" factor (another requirement), I decided to make the Butternut Squash and Macaroni Casserole I found on the Whole Foods Market recipe page. I paired it with the world's most delicious broccoli—also known as the way Rebecca Patterson taught me how to make it last week!

Roasted Broccoli
Recipe courtesy of Rebecca Patterson

INGREDIENTS
Broccoli florets
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

• Preheat the oven to 450 degrees (F).
• Line a cookie sheet with foil and put the broccoli on it.
• Coat the broccoli entirely with olive oil, (if you're a "drizzler" like me, you'll need more than that—each piece should be covered), and season with salt and pepper. It should be generously salted, but have more pepper than salt.
• Place in the oven on the bottom rack and cook for 25 minutes, or until the broccoli looks "crispy" and blackened a bit.

Butternut Squash and Macaroni Casserole
Recipe from Whole Foods Market

INGREDIENTS
2 tablespoons olive oil 1 large yellow onion, thinly sliced 1 butternut squash (about 2 pounds), peeled, seeded and cut into 1-inch pieces 1 can coconut milk Salt and pepper to taste 1 tablespoon chopped sage 3/4 pound dried elbow macaroni 1/2 cup chopped toasted walnuts 1/2 cup bread crumbs

• Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly oil a 9- x 13-inch casserole dish; set aside.
• Heat oil in a medium pot over medium heat. Add onions and cook, stirring often, until softened, 5 to 7 minutes.
• Add squash, coconut milk, salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to medium low and simmer until squash is tender, about 20 minutes. Stir in sage and simmer 1 minute more. (This part can be made ahead, up to 1 day in advance.)
• Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add macaroni and cook until tender but still firm, about 8 minutes. Rinse in cold water, drain well and transfer to a large bowl.
• Transfer squash mixture to bowl with macaroni. Add walnuts, salt and pepper and toss to combine. Transfer to prepared dish and top with bread crumbs.
• Bake until just golden brown and hot throughout, about 30 minutes.

NOTE: If you have a nut allergy, you can easily omit the walnuts without affecting the flavor at all.

What are you cooking this week?

Blessings of Abraham

I’m sitting in Sunday school and for some reason it’s just the pastor and me. I look around to see if anyone else is going to join us, while she is preparing the lesson, but they never show. She says, “turn to Genesis 12 and read.” As I began reading, tears began to form, because at that moment, I knew God was revealing his new promises to me.

Genesis 12:1-5 Now the Lord had said to Abram: “Get out of your country, From your family and from your father’s house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation, I will bless you, and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and curse those who curse you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

November 2011, I interviewed for a job located in northern California, but I wasn’t sure if God was allowing me to move at this time. I had relocated to Florida and was ready to leave since I arrived. Unbeknownst to me, God had other plans, so I was there for 3 years waiting for God to give me the “Okay” to move. My family and friends were not thrilled that I was planning to leave, especially since they new my “situation”. However, this Sunday morning, God confirmed that he heard my prayers and was honoring my request! Everyone who knows me, knows I do most things “outside of the box” and they hardly ever understand the choices I make; sometimes I don’t even understand them, but I know God does.

During this time, I had recently been unemployed for six months and started a new job making well below what I was used to making. I had no money, no car, and no complete plan to carry out this next move. However, I did know that God had a plan, so I had nothing to lose.

Hebrews 11:8 “By faith Abraham when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed: and he went out, noting knowing where he was going”

February 2012, I accepted the job and moved to Sacramento, California (confirmation is even in the city’s name). Within the first week, God released so much to me, confirming that faith works! I found a nice apartment and the managers only required a portion of the money to move in. I found a church home and one of the first messages I received was on the blessings of Abraham. He provided transportation (courtesy of my job), and a group of friends who love Christ just as I do!

God is faithful! He’s not only faithful to me, but to those who seek him and obey his word. Sometimes his instructions don’t seem to make sense, but we have to trust that He knows what he is doing. After all, He is God! Whatever God is pressing on your heart to do, you will only reap the benefits of His promises by faith and obedience.

Godly Reminders
Hebrews 11:1&6; Proverbs 3:6



By Marquisha Harden

Homemade Pumpkin Spice Latte

By Carmen Miller

Did you know?:
People who buy coffee primarily at drive through
windows on their way to work will spend as much as 45 hours a year
waiting in line.

I have had many requests for my yummy pumpkin spice latte recipe lately, so I wanted to just post it up for you all. I guess it is safe to say I am beyond ready for Fall (hence the new fall colors on my newly revamped blog). I love the oranges, yellows and browns! What’s your favorite part of Autumn?

Ingredients:

1 tbsp pumpkin puree
1/2 tbsp light brown sugar (packed and leveled)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
2 cups coffee (strong, brewed using 2 tbs per 1 cup of water)
4 tbsps coffee creamer
6 tsp granulated sugar
whipped cream (I personally like the heavy whipped cream)

—Directions--

1) In a blender puree the milk, pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, brown sugar and vanilla.

2) Pour into a small saucepan and cook over low heat until the milk is warm and begins to froth slightly. (About 4-5 minutes.) Remove from heat.

4) For each serving: Pour 1/2 cup of the pumpkin mixture into your coffee mug.

5) Add 2 generous tablespoons of Coffeemate creamer.

6) Heat in the microwave for 30 seconds, then add 1 cup of brewed coffee.

7) Add 2 to 4 teaspoons of sugar (depending on how sweet you like your drink, I added 3 tsps.)

8) Top off with a touch more ‘pumpkin milk’ then cover with whipped cream and sprinkle with nutmeg and pumpkin spice.

(this is 2 servings)

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Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. --Author Unknown

Checklist God

I am a list person. I try to organize my life by keeping a running tab of things I need to do. My lists are organized into categories like work, home, kids, ministry, prayers, etc. With every item that is scratched off, I feel a sense of accomplishment and relief. One less thing to worry about. I've done what was needed to do in order to feel that sense of relief, that freedom in knowing I got the job done, the reward that comes after the hard work.

I don’t always follow my lists to a T and sometimes I dread the sight of them. Some days, I don’t feel like working on certain projects for work, running certain errands, cleaning and doing laundry yet again, or following up with tasks for the ministry. After I finish having my temper tantrums, I get over myself and start plugging away at what needs to be done. I want the relief, the freedom, the reward even though my heart is not in the task itself.

This past Friday, I was leaving the amazing Catalyst Conference with a friend and she and I starting sharing some of things going on in our lives. It dawned on me that we both tend to have this checklist mentality. We are plugging away at life, crossing off things on our checklist, waiting for the reward and satisfaction that comes with completing the tasks. We realized that we tend to treat our relationship with God the same way. We go through life with our checklist of things to do and not do in order to get that same sense of satisfaction and reward from God. What once started off as a heart felt desire to please God, it has now become a desire to do things for God in order for Him to bless us.

“If I serve in the church, God will be pleased.”

“If I give tithes and offerings, God is going to bless me financially.”

“If I open my home to someone in need, God will grant me extra favor.”

“If I guard my heart and stay away from sin, God will give me a great husband.”

“If I don’t have sex before I get married, I am going to have a great marriage.”

James 2:17 NKJV says, “Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” Faith without works is dead. I realized I am pretty good at the works part. I have my trusty checklist of things I do so that God can see my good deeds and bless me accordingly. Yet, I realize, I am missing the faith part. I have allowed myself to feel like I have to work hard in order for God to see me. I have to check off my list of accomplishments so that I can feel like now, I am deserving of this or that. I have reduced God to nothing more than a system of cause and effect. If I do this for God, then God will do this for me.

Faith without works is dead. But works without faith and heart behind it…what’s that?

I welcome this wake up call about where my heart is. It hadn't dawned on me before that I had allowed myself to slip into this works mentality, treating God like a genie who should fulfill my wishes because I was a good girl. I don’t deserve anything. I am not a good girl despite with my completed checklist says. I am a sinner, saved my grace, through faith. Faith. The missing link in my works.

I don’t have to do in order to receive. There is no amount of work on Earth that I could do to repay God for all that He has done and the sacrifices for His son. God loves me despite my sin, despite my checklist of accomplishments. If I never do another good deed again, He will still love me. I can stop trying to earn something that is already readily available. I can stop trying to do this or that so that God will hold up His end of the bargain. He doesn't want me to do for others out of a selfish place in my heart. He wants me to do for others out of a place of love and gratitude for Him. He is faithful in His promises because His heart does not change. My level of sin or service don’t make Him love me any more or any less.

I will keep the checklists that keep my life organized but I can let go of the checklists that keeps me working without faith.

The Particularly Problematic Predicament of Perfecting Pretty

pret-ty adj
a : pleasing by delicacy or grace
b : having conventionally accepted elements of beauty

If there is one thing we girls are taught to admire from the start it’s the idea of “pretty”. Phrases like “what a pretty dress you have”, “is that your pretty dolly”, and “isn’t that a pretty color” quickly turn a girls head. The word spins round and round in our heads, and what comes out? Seek pretty.

But then there’s a distinct shift that happens to all girls somewhere around adolescence, the age where doubt quickly replaces childhood confidence. We are no longer just supposed to seek pretty, we are supposed to be pretty.

This is a challenge.

And the reason it’s a challenge is because being pretty or being beautiful has moved from an inner quality to a petty judgement. Why even the word petty is just one letter away from pretty.

Do I think it’s wrong to want to be “pretty”? No, of couse not. I want to be considered pretty just like every girl whose ever existed.

The real problem is that we’ve forgotten to look beyond pretty, because in reality pretty is a hard standard to reach, it’s always changing, and it’s so subjective that if you spend your life in pursuit of it, you are sure to fail.

Instead spend your life in pursuit of real beauty, the kind that doesn’t fade.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. (1 Peter 3: 3-5)

So here is the challenge. We must change our goals. We must strive to be more than pretty things.

Women: let’s look at ourselves as more than pretty things, let’s cultivate in ourselves something worth being called “beautiful” over, something that scrapes deeper than the surface.

Men: admire women for more than their appearances. If there are women in your life whose character is truly beautiful let them know that you appreciate them.

What beautiful characteristics are you cultivating?



Guest post by Ashley Perez

Ashley, like many other 20-somethings, is trying to figure out how to be a classy, sassy woman of character in a 21st century society. She's definitely a Hannah, though she has some Shoshana-like qualities. An English teacher in South Korea by day, she moonlights as a lover of Dawson's Creek reruns by night. She's cooler than this bio makes her sound, which is why you should check out her blog, Boys are IDOTS and her website, www.twentyandto.com a guide to getting your life together in your 20s.  She also tweets @itsashleyperez

Being Different From the Rest of Them

One of the hardest things about being a teenager is the pressure to fit in. To pretend to be someone you’re not. I came to this realization when I reached sixth grade, watching all of my former friends separate into cliques and obsess over makeup, boys, and drama. They became someone they weren't and only because it seemed like the thing to do since they were no longer considered a little kid anymore.

It was also at this time when I came to the realization that I wasn't like the rest of them. After a while, I started to not feel right about this. I mean, shouldn't I have been like the rest of the girls? There had to have been something wrong with me.
I only had a couple of real friends. The other girls I hung out with at school said they were my friends, but I knew it was only because of my popular teenage sister. Some of her friend’s little siblings were in my grade and they wanted me to be part of their clique. But I never felt accepted by them—instead, I felt as if they tolerated me, secretly wishing I was different. More like them.

My self-esteem became very low. Especially since there were some people who constantly tried to make me into someone I wasn't reminding me that I was different—or, in their words, “weird”. They tried making me feel bad for not being like the rest of the girls my age.

Because of this, I started to become so self-conscious, so concerned about what people thought about me and ashamed of who I was. I remember my mom would always tell me that God made me different from the rest of the girls for a reason.

Over the years, I've realized just how true she was.

This quote by Taylor Swift basically says it all:

“If you’re lucky enough to be different from everyone else, don’t change.”

Don’t sacrifice who you are just to fit in with the rest of them. Yes, it may be hard going to school every day with hardily anyone to talk to. Believe me, I've felt that way many times. In sixth grade, I was finally able to convince my mom to homeschool me the last three months of the school year. I couldn't handle just three more months of it. Trust me, being ignored by people because you’re “different” hurts just as bad as being made fun of.

If you have yet to watch Jillian Jensen’s audition for The X Factor that’s recently gone viral, I recommend that you do by clicking here. She’s a 19-year-old who was bullied all throughout middle and high school, yet she never changed who she was. On the show, she told us: “I was never afraid to be myself. They always just tried to bring me down because I am… the way I am.”

Demi Lovato—one of the judges who is also a victim of being bullied—told Jillian: “Look, we’re both up here. The bullies that bullied us, they’re at home watching us on TV.”

If you’re different from the rest of them, it’s because you were called to do something extra-ordinary. God has a unique purpose for you. It’d be such a waste to throw it all away just so you can fit in with the other girls.

There’s an episode on One Tree Hill that’s very powerful, probably one of my favorite television episodes ever. In the episode, a guy started a school shooting and was holding hostage some of his classmates in a classroom. He was going on to them about how hard school has always been for him, and all because people bullied him or treated him as if he were invisible. One of the girls told him: “700 days, high school. Out of 20 or 30 thousand. Can’t you see past that? It’s only 700 days.”

High school isn’t going to last forever. In fact, it goes by pretty fast. Is it really worth sacrificing who you are just for momentary acceptance?

As children of God, we’re called to be set apart. We’re not supposed to conform to the culture around us.

I’m hoping that, through my column, you will be encouraged to stay true to who God has made you to be and do the things he has called you to do. I’m hoping you will realize just how important your youth is and be challenged to grow in your relationship with God. To strive to please Him above anyone else.

And to be different from the rest of them.


“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” ~Romans 12:2


photo credit: Mean Girls (2004)





Tessa Hall is a 19-year-old coffeeholic and author of Purple Moon. She is also the editor over the faith department for Temperance Magazine, as well as a contributing writer for Imagine Mag, More To Be, & Real Teen Faith. She loves acting, music, Starbucks, and her imperial Shih Tzu—who is named Brewer after a character in her book, as well as her love for coffee.

Total Fitness Plan

Every January 1st, millions of people - including myself - renew their commitment to exercise and eat healthy. It may be that mysterious tightening of the waistband in my favorite jeans or the way I get out of breath walking from my car to the mall entrance…something in my body lets me know that it’s time to get in shape. I love how God created my body just so…it tells me when enough is enough, lets me know that it’s weak and needs to be strengthened. Once I get the warning signs of aches, pains, and shortness of breath, I know I better change and get my workout plan together.

Amazingly enough, my spirit works the same way! Just as too many donuts and syrupy coffee drinks can lead to a heavier bottom, a steady diet of “I don’t believe it will ever happen,” and “God doesn't hear my prayers,” with a side of “when will things ever get better?” will weigh down your faith and cause the soul to bottom out. I know I’m not the only one who has been guilty of feeding my faith negative snacks of disappointment, impatience, and unbelief. It’s left my faith tired, weak, and out of shape…the same way my body would be on a poor diet and no exercise. It is a well-known fact that lack of exercise and poor diet can be a deadly combination, but we are not just a body.

We are spirit, we have a soul, and we live in a body. If we cannot live a healthy life with a dying body, how do we expect to live a healthy life with a dying spirit? The only thing to do is to begin a new workout plan.

There are numerous sources of information for healthy eating guidelines ranging from the US Department of Agriculture to a YouTube video or blog. It can be confusing at times to figure out exactly what source to trust with your health. The Bible, however, is the one and only resource that gives time-tested guidance on working out your faith and provides testimonies from proven faith warriors. Best of all, the workout comes with a guarantee from God! All we have to do is follow the instructions in the plan.

“So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” --Philippians 2:12 NASB
There, in black and white, are clear instructions to “work out.” Seriously, I am talking about exercising the kind of faith that can save your life. The foundation of this kind of faith is believing the Word of God. Faith begins by believing that the Word is “truth.” You have to believe that reading and living the Word will make a change in your spirit just the same way that eating healthy and exercising will make a change in your body. You won’t see many immediate changes…it takes a while for people to notice that you are losing weight, but the evidence of your work shows up on the outside. It works much the same way with your faith.

It takes more than one “workout” to see results. Spend time every day reading the Word, working out your mind and challenging yourself to accept what it says as true and applicable to your life, your struggles, and your experiences. Don’t tell yourself that something you have read is too hard for you! The Bible says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV). Have faith and believe that you can have the same salvation, the same power, the same faith as those heroes and sinners you read about in the Word. Keep reading, keep believing, and keep your workouts consistent. Feed your spirit with the Word, and exercise it by acting on what you read. You may not see it at first, but a change is happening that will be evident in time.

Once you have developed your faith in the Word by reading and living it, you should see enough results in your life to trust that the plan works! Continue to rely on God’s Word…look for ways to get in even better shape and build deeper faith! You can never have too much faith - it pleases God more than anything else.

Faith can make you whole again when things seem broken beyond repair. Faith moves mountains, heals sickness, and is the stepping stone to all kinds of miracles. Fitness is more than just diet and exercise.

When was the last time you worked out your faith?



by Johnnesha Parker

Creating an Ishmael, Expecting an Isaac

Have you ever been waiting on God for something and it just seems like he wasn't responding? You've tried being faithful and waiting for a period of time, but it just didn't seem as though the promise was coming to pass. Most of us find ourselves in these types of situations because we feel God should move at our pace. At that point, we start searching for alternatives to substitute his promise, instead of trusting God’s word. God is faithful.

We cannot fulfill God’s plan prematurely. Having faith is more than just believing God for today, you have to constantly believe that God will provide. You can’t give up or allow doubts to enter your mind. Instead cast down every thought that contradicts God’s promise (2 Corinthians 10:5). When we try to substitute the promise, we create unnecessary grief and sadness for others and ourselves.

God made a promise to Abraham that he would have as many children as there were stars (Genesis 15:5). God did not tell Abraham when the promise would come to pass; he just let him know that it would. Abraham believed God for a moment, but later agreed with his wife, Sarah, to conceive a child with her maid, Hagar (Genesis 16:2). After Hagar became pregnant, Sarah grew angry and dealt so harshly with Hagar that she ran away (16:3). God appeared to Hagar and instructed her to return to Sarah. He promised to multiply her descendants that they shall not be counted. She was instructed to return home where she would give birth to her son, Ishmael (Genesis 16:8-12). Later, God appeared to Abraham to remind him of the promise; Abraham thought he already had the promise. However, God made the covenant regarding the seed that would come from Abraham and Sarah, not Hagar; the promise had not yet been fulfilled. It would only be fulfilled years later when Sarah gave birth to Isaac, just as God promised (Genesis 17).

Although Ishmael became apart of the promise, he was NOT the promise God had chosen for Abraham. He looked like he could have been the promise, because it seemed as though God was not responding as quickly as Abraham and Sarah thought he should. Instead, the process of conceiving Ishmael created grief, jealousy, and sadness for both Sarah and Hagar.

When we substitute God’s promises, we don’t know what’s in store for us. When we wait on God, we can be sure we are receiving a good and perfect gift (James 1:17). God will fulfill is promise in His time, not when we think its time. His ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). They are so much greater than anything we could ever think imagine! We can be sure that we will receive all of God’s promises whether it’s a ministry we wish to start, future spouse, children, or job, if we remain faithful and wait on Him.

Godly Reminders

Hebrews 11:1 & 6
Isaiah 40:31


by Marquisha Harden

Silent Tears: Part II

After a great night out with the girls, we headed back home. I can still remember, like it was yesterday, how heavy the air felt in the car. The silence caused me to nearly tremble. He then broke the thick silence and asked, "So, did you have fun tonight?" The smug sarcasm was obvious. I quietly answered, "yes, it was okay." And inside I was shouting, "Yes, yes, I had a blast! I was away from you. Yes, I felt free and I felt safe." Then suddenly I sprung back to reality by the weight of his fist across my face. The force was so powerful I cracked the passenger side window. I couldn't do anything but cry, the pain in my head, the pain in my face, and the pain in my heart. Everything hurt so bad. By the time we got to our apartment, my eye had swelled close. I remember crying, wondering how I would hide this from the family at my mom's engagement party the next day.

The following morning as I got ready, I remember, although I didn't have a relationship with God, I began to talk to Him. I asked him why was he letting me go through this, and help me to have the strength to leave. I had never left, because I didn't want to have a broken family, but for the first time in my life I feared that one day he would kill me. 

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Enough. . . 

Days later after the engagement party, I had a meeting to attend. So as usual I added my extra concealer and donned my shades to hide the swollen bruised eye. The meeting was going well and as I got up to exit the room, the woman grabbed my hand and said,

"Honey, you know you can get help for that. You don't have to live like this. I can get you help."

I looked at her and said, "oh no, this is not what you think. I had a crazy weekend with the family, that's all." As I walked away, I felt so numb. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. What had happened to me? I didn't recognize who I was anymore. At that moment I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I went home and began to plan my "getaway." I called the local Battered Women's Shelter to get information. Finally, I called my sister Noelia and told her everything I had been going through for the past six years. She said for me to leave with my children and stay with her.

Later on that day we had dinner at my moms. I couldn't eat or think straight as I mentally finalized my plan for freedom. Since he had been drinking I knew what kind of night I was in for. Not today. Not ever again.

As we approached the apartment he got out of the car and slammed the door. As soon as I noticed he was a few feet away, I jumped in the drivers seat locked the doors, started the ignition and and sped away. My adrenaline was sky high, and I remember feeling happiness, and fear all at once. Why was I still scared? I was finally free. My kids and I can finally live a normal life.

When you have endured years of abuse and finally manage to escape it, the world is new to you. You just haven't been beaten physically, but psychologically and emotionally as well. You don't know where to start. Just because you have escaped the situation, you haven't escaped the fear.

The next days were terrifying. Every time I would look out the window he was there, parked , just waiting. I realized I hadn't escaped anything! I was still living in fear and refused to remain that way! I had to stand up and speak out.

Breaking my silence. 

One quiet afternoon as I sat on the couch in my sister's home writing down my goals and next steps to take for my safety, I was interrupted by a loud noise coming from the basement. It was the sound of a window breaking. I jumped up and looked out, and seen my ex's car parked, but he wasn't in there. I began to panic as I heard him in the basement trying to open the first bottom door. Terrified, I called my sister and then 911. As soon as the police officers arrived my ex had broken through the door and was standing right in front of me. I could smell the alcohol seeping through his pores. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked completely discombobulated. He ran out as soon as he heard the siren, but was stopped by the cops and handcuffed. At that moment I felt the fear subside. I felt empowered. This was it. It was finally over!

I will never forget my conversation with the first officer that arrived. He told me I was lucky, because who knows what his plans were for me today. He then asked me if I wanted to press charges and I said yes. He began to tell me my next steps, like getting a restraining order and handed me a list of resources. His next words would forever leave a stamp on my mind.

"I really hope you follow through with this ma'am. Today you were lucky, but next time you may not be. Many women say they will leave, but most of the time they return to that life. Especially when this is their first time leaving."

Not, sure what it was about those words that affected me so much, but I knew I wanted to live and I also wanted to prove I was serious—I didn't want that life for me. And sure, not many women left "for good" the first time, but I would be one of those women that did.

I didn't have a relationship with Christ during this time, but I know that He was there all along. I know that he had a purpose for my life even then as broken as I was. I had a story to tell. And because of that I am thankful for it all.

Love doesn't have to hurt, and shouldn't.

The Bible explains to us what real true love is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If you are where I was, please know that God hears you. He sees your tears, your bruises, your fears and He wants to rescue you. You feel alone, but you aren't. He is there waiting for you to let Him in and restore you. Let Him give you life once more and experience true love. Love that is kind and gentle. A love that protects, not hurts. He knows you and your faults and still wants to use you.

He is there. When you've run out of options, he is there. When you think all hope is gone, he is there. 

A thunderous silence

Breaks through my thoughts.

What was once many great ideas

Is now a triumph, lost.

Baffling words tumble through my mind.

Reflections of darkness hover.

A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me,

And inside myself, I take cover.

What would it be like to stay there forever?

To be lost in all my cares?

From the inside, looking out -I cry silent tears

-Unknown

Friend, realize this today: God has you covered. When you're stuck in a dark place, thirsty for someone who cares, drowning in despair—God is with you. He covers you with his hands of hope, protection, support. Rest in his all-encompassing love today.

Let him wipe away your silent tears. 

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If you think a friend or family member is being abused or is abusive, please call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to discuss your concerns and questions.

Carmen Miller spent her life searching for empty substitutes for God. She tried to find her worth, value, and identity in things and men, only to be left empty and broken. Today, she shares her story of brokenness and the love Jesus relentlessly showed her. A wife, a mom, writer and a lover of her Creator, she is passionate about the body of Christ and being set free from the bondage's that hinder our walk with Christ.

Silent Tears: Part I

According to the NDVH:

• More than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day.
• 1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.
• 3 out of 4 (74%) people personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, and I thought this would be the perfect time to share my story as a victim of domestic violence for six years.

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. - National Domestic Violence Hotline

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This is my story. . . 

When I look back on my life, I can tell you that the emotional abuse started at a young age for me. I came from a broken, fatherless home. My mother worked hard to raise us the best she could in somewhat of a Catholic home.

My stepfather came into our lives when I was about seven years old. I still remember the feeling of disappointment as he and my mother stood in our living room telling us he would be moving in. Since my father had left us, it always had been just my mom, me and my sister Noelia. This was a HUGE pill to swallow.

As weeks, then months, and years went by, I grew to love my stepfather and eventually he filled the void that my real father had left. We did a lot of things together and I remember always sitting on his lap watching T.V. and playing. It was what every little girl wanted, naturally.

I'm not quite sure at what point he and my mother discussed having a child together, but they did and had my baby sister when I was 10 years old. From that day on, my life as I knew it, would change.

Raising Carmen. . . 

Although only 15, it wasn't long before I noticed that arguments always happened when my mother wasn't around. He would eavesdrop on my phone calls, or disconnect the phone from the wall entirely. And let me not forget the many times the phones (even my little sisters toys) were thrown at me. I knew he had a drinking problem, and I just tried my hardest to keep my distance. The day I realized he really didn't think much of me was during an argument he had with my mom, where I overheard him tell her, "she is not my daughter, and all she does is ruin your life, she needs to leave or I will!" I remember my mom apologizing to him for my behavior and at that moment I felt alone, and hurt. So at the young age of 15, I left home and raised myself.

I had my first child at 17, and my son was born when I was 21. In my mind, I thought I had found my one true love—the greatest man on earth! What I didn't know was that, I would be marrying a man who would be my worst nightmare.

If you asked me today, were their warning signs or red flags before I married him. YES! But, I just thought he loved me so much and didn't want to lose me. You, see I had never experienced a father's love or a man's love, so how was I to know that this was NOT love?

Like most, women in abusive relationships, it began with aggressive arguments, then moved on to pushing and shoving. Eventually the first blow landed on my jaw. I remember one night, while living in Mississippi, he was very drunk and angry that I had refused to have sex with him. He pulled me by my hair and dragged me off the bed and all the way to the kitchen. He began to accuse me of cheating and wanting someone else. I heard my 5 year old daughter crying in bed and I yelled for her to lock her door. I ran out the front door to try and get help, but felt his clammy hands grip my arms as as he flung me across the car. All I remember was looking up at the neighbors, just staring as if we were giving an award winning drama performance. They stood, silent as I yelled for help. No one moved. His family would tell me to avoid making him angry so that I "wouldn't ask for it."

The following days were greeted with flowers and apologies, not knowing that this was even worse than the physical abuse itself. It left me numb, and at times asking myself, "what did I do to make him so mad?"

For the next three years I endured the abuse and became a professional at hiding the physical bruises (although he made sure to leave marks where no one else could see) and emotional ones. But inside I cried out for help. After a few years we decided to move back home to Illinois. I was so excited to be around my family. I had felt so alone for years and now I could be around other people and maybe, just maybe he wouldn't hit me if my family was around. Boy, was I wrong! The abuse continued, and even became worse. There were nights I was too tired to fight that I would lay still as he drunkenly forced himself on me. This would go on for months. . .

I never really shared the abuse with my mom or anyone else in my family. My family always had the, "that kind of stuff doesn't happen in our family" attitude. I remember one evening  going to the movies to watch Enough starring Jennifer Lopez. She played a battered wife who takes justice into her own hands. I can recall leaving the theater feeling brave and courageous. I had a new strength and for the first time in my life, I started plotting how I would leave. This time I knew I would have to leave for good or I may die.

One day my aunt asked if I wanted to go out with her and a few friends. I was too terrified to even ask permission, yet he overheard our conversation and shockingly, pushed me to go. It scared me, but since he was best friends with my aunts boyfriend, they made plans to hang out together.

I don't think I ever felt so good, so happy on the dance floor. I felt like a prisoner that had been set free into civilization for a few hours. As the night died down and we headed back to her place, my stomach began to flutter with worry and dreadful fear; a feeling I was all too familiar with. . . .

To be continued in Part II.

Carmen Miller spent her life searching for empty substitutes for God. She tried to find her worth, value, and identity in things and men, only to be left empty and broken. Today, she shares her story of brokenness and the love Jesus relentlessly showed her. A wife, a mom, writer and a lover of her Creator, she is passionate about the body of Christ and being set free from the bondage's that hinder our walk with Christ.