Why Do We Confess?

Recently, my husband and I began attending a marriage enrichment program at our church called Re|engage. This programs helps couples move towards oneness through the testimonies of other couples, worship, prayer, and small group. It is a 16-week experience existing help reignite your marriage or completely restore it.

5 Truths Every Christian Woman Needs to Know

We live in a world that screams, "Less is more!" Less clothes will make you more money. Less morals gets you the man of your dreams.

This world also tells us that our value, identity, and worth can be found right here on earth. However, the Bible tells us different. Matthew 6:19-21 says,

Whole Spotlight: A Long Walk with LaToria

Christian Hip-Hop artist, LaToria is someone you definitely want to keep your eye on. She brings impressive and soulful rapping abilities along a with fire for God that is definitely something we want to shine the "spotlight" on.

8 Bible Verses for When You're Feeling Lonely

In the midst of our loneliness we often try to fill the desires of our hearts with the things of this world. But Jesus longs to fill our hearts with Himself during this season.

Even when you are feeling lonely, and feel as though you have no one, God is always with you. He thinks about you all the time. Do not give up on yourself, because God has not given up on you. It is easier to just abandon every relationship, because of all the past failed relationships. Doing this will only further discourage you and leave you feeling sorry for yourself. This is not what God wants for His daughters.

How can God help me when I am feeling lonely?

• Use this "alone time" to rediscover the beautiful unfaithfulness of Jesus.
• Reach out to others. When we take the focus off of ourselves and place them on others our feelings on loneliness seem to subside.
• Put yourself in places where you will be able to meet new people! Church is a great place to start if you have not done so.

Here are my go-to Bible verses when I am feeling lonely. I know someone can use them today.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! (Psalm 139:17)

And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. (Psalm 9:10)

"Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you." (Genesis 28:15)

For the Lord will not forsake His people, for His great name’s sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you His people. (1 Samuel 12:22)

Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me, For I am desolate and afflicted. (Psalm 25:16)

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

"I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20)

Remember that God has a purpose even for loneliness. Rather than resent it, let us learn to embrace it and learn from it.

What are some of your go-to verses for when you are feeling lonely? Share with us in the comments below.

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of five and wife to Jarrad. She is the Founder of Whole Magazine, and Executive Director at God Over Porn Ladies, and extension of God Over Porn. Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

20 Bible Verses to Help You Overcome Gossiping

"Did you see what Sheila was wearing at church this morning?"

"Did you about what Tom did to his wife?"

I can remember many times people have tried to start conversations like that with me. Even worse, I remember starting conversations like that myself. Gossip is that “secret” sin that people try to conceal with superficial concern and erroneous motives but really it does nothing but stir up conflict because it comes from an impure place. 

Gossiping has two sides to it; first gossiping is when you say something that is true but with the wrong motives causing them to look bad to others. Secondly, gossiping is sharing information with others who were not meant to know such personal details even if without evil intent.

Now let us look at God's perspective on this gossiping. Proverbs 26:20 tells us, "Without wood fire goes out; without a gossip a conflict dies down." When you choose to not listen to gossip or to not spread it you help quench the problem. But when we listen to or partake in gossiping our words do nothing but add fuel to an already burning fire.

Next, Proverbs 20:19 clearly warns us that, "A gossip [talebearer, slander] goes around telling secrets; so avoid anyone who talks too much." When someone tells you something in confidence do not share it with anyone else. If they want others to know their business let them be the ones to share it. Your job is to listen, support and pray for them. Compromising that trust and spreading gossip to others that are not involved create a bigger problem and and that is something God hates.

God wants to use a mouth that is not suited for the gutter, but suited for grace. [click-to-tweet]

Here are 20 verses to help you overcome that nasty spirit of gossip. When you feel it coming on meditate on these scriptures and hold your tongue!

1. Let the word of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and My Redeemer. (Psalm 19:17)
   
2. "I will guard my ways, lest I sin with my tongue." (Psalm 39:1)
   
   
3. Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:3)
   
   
4. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put  perverse lips far from you. (Proverbs 4:24)
   
   
5. In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver. (Proverbs 10:19-20)
   
   
6. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. (James 3:4-5)
   
   
7. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. (James 3:8-10)
   
   
8. For “He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. (1 Peter 3:10)
   
   
9. His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and oppression; Under his tongue is trouble and iniquity. (Psalm 10:7)
   
   
10. Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue. (Psalm 15:1-3)
    
    
11. Why do you boast in evil, O mighty man? . . . Your tongue devises destruction, Like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. You love evil more than good, Lying rather than speaking righteousness. (Psalm 52:1-3)
    
    
12. Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, Him I will destroy; The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart, Him I will not endure. (Psalm  101:5)
    
    
13. Deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips And from a deceitful tongue. (Psalm 120:2)
    
    
14. The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, But the perverse tongue will be cut out. (Proverbs 10:31)
    
    
15. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. (Colossians 4:6)
    
    
16. Do not be rash with your mouth, And let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few. (Ecclesiastes 5:2)
    
    
17. The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body. (Proverbs 18:8)
    
    
18. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. (Ephesians 4:29)
    
    
19. The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious, But the lips of a fool shall swallow him up. (Ecclesiastes 10:12)
      
20. A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. (Proverbs 11:13)

Jesus put it this way. He told His followers, "Whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops" (Luke 12:3). As Believers we must recognize the power that is in the tongue. They have the power to tear others down and even grieve the Holy Spirit. But when our tongues line up with what God proclaims in His Word, we are on the right path. 

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. She is the Founder of Whole Magazine, and Executive Director at God Over Porn Ladies, and extension of God Over Porn. Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

4 Signs of a Godly Friend

Can I be honest with you? As a young girl I had no problems making friends. I could get around a crowd of girls and just fit right in. But as I got older and experienced hurt and betrayal from other women, I became less quick to fit in. I will admit that at times I still tend to pull away with the fear that a friend may hurt me.

What I looked for in my worldly friends was completely different from what I want and desire from a godly friendship. I believe that the gift of friendship was one of God's greatest ideas. I also believe that just how God picks our our husbands to compliment us, He does the same with our friends. It has been said about marriage that where one lacks the other makes up for it. I know Jesus made friendship to work the same way.

I spent a good part of my life searching for genuine friendships. I always would get sad when I would hear women say, "We have been best friends for over 15 years." I thought, wow. That would be nice to have. I had close friends, but those were all worldly friends. Things happened that caused us to go our separate ways, and with others we just grew apart. Temporal friendships don't stand a chance when they are built on a temporal foundation. The slightest disagreement can wash away even 20 years of what you thought was an unbreakable friendship if it was not built on solid foundation. God, The Rock.

But when you are blessed enough to find a friend that loves you enough to point out your sin even when you do not recognize it, or a friend that just knows when something is off with you and instead of asking questions they take it to God. . .That is a real friend. When times are hard a real friend will not take you to the club to get drunk and "forget your problems," they will take you before the Lord and cry out on your behalf. Your burdens will become their burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Godly friendships require transparency and trust. It is not easy to be honest and vulnerable about our deepest struggles, fears, and hidden sins. It takes crazy faith to put ourselves out there like that. Especially if you have been hurt by friends in the past. But it is a wonderful feeling when God gives you a peace about someone. When He whispers to your heart, "It is okay. You can trust them."

So, what does a godly friendships look like? 

• They rejoice in your accomplishments. There is no room for jealousy in a God-breathed friendship. As a matter of fact your accomplishments become their accomplishments because more than likely you were a big part of that success. Your prayers, your support, and your accountability was crucial during this season. 
  
  
  "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic." (James 3:14-15)
  
  
• A true friend speaks the truth in love. . .even if it hurts. You know that you can always trust that she tells you is for your own good, even if you may not want to hear it. She is a woman of prayer and you know that she goes before God for you to seek wisdom even in your situations. She will tell you if you have acted out of character whether you want to hear it or not. And this must work both ways.
  
  
  Brethren, if any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness. (Galatians 6:1)
  
  
• Godly friends will not gossip about you. The Bible has a lot to say about gossipers, and it is not good. So, a gossiping friend is not good either. Can you comfortably share something private with your friend and know without a doubt that your conversation will stay private? True friends are are honest and trustworthy with matters of the heart. A real friend will defend you in public and confront you in private.
  
  
  Whoever goes around as a gossip tells secrets. Do not associate with a person whose mouth is always open. (Proverbs 20:19)
  
  
  
• True godly friends are natural givers. You will find in godly friendships that both parties give sacrificially without hesitation. A real friend makes sacrifices. I admit I have sacrificed some sleep to sit up with my crying girlfriend at four in the morning, and so have others for me. I have had friends bring us groceries when we didn't have much. Friends who take from theirs to give to ours our some of the most blessed friendships.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Do you consider yourself a true godly friend? 

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

Fashion with Compassion: Faithfully There Apparel

We are so excited to introduce to you our new friends over at Faithfully There. I discovered their hip and edgy clothes line while perusing on Instagram recently.

The name Faithfully There came from the never ending love, grace and mercy that the Lord continues to pour out on our lives. Faithfully Their purpose is to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ through fashion and outreach. 

The aim is to create fashion that encourages conversations that lead to the Gospel, thus opening up a door for sharing the Gospel to others. We pray that Faithfully There will be a vessel to inspire others to live and share the Gospel.

The Faithfully There Story:

The majority of my life I gave all my attention to everything except God. When my mind and heart were wrapped up in the world, I always knew they didn't belong there. In the winter of 2011 I approached a period in my life when I was searching for something--I began working on my relationship with Christ. I was making progress but I knew I was not giving Him my heart, mind, and soul. So, He sat me down ... literally.

I’m going to take a few steps back. I'm a hooper! I have played basketball the majority of my life and continued to play after college. I spent a lot of my time in the gym practicing and playing basketball. Sometimes, I would put basketball over spending the much-needed time with God. Like I said, he sat me down. I tore my Achilles in the spring of 2012 and I couldn't play basketball for months. To say this was the easiest thing I've ever been through would be a lie. I was torn, not just my Achilles, and even had bouts of depression. I realized that I found my identity in basketball rather than finding it in Christ. But it was during that time that I was able to put everything aside and truly see who God really was in my life. This ended up being the most rewarding trial of my life.

Towards the end of the summer 2012 the Lord really put on my heart a passion to spread the gospel and to help the community I live in. I had no idea that Faithfully There was in his plans. There has been one common thread throughout my life, The Lord’s faithfulness, and that’s exactly what Faithfully There is about. To spread the gospel and to be faithfully there for our community, family, homeless, and people who we come across every day. And our hope is that The Lord uses Faithfully There as a vessel to point people to the cross. - [Kevin Perry, Owner]

The Compassion Part:

Since the establishment of Faithfully There in June 2014 we have grounded ourselves on spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ and encouraging others to do the same. If people ask questions or make comments about Faithfully There’s apparel, share the gospel with them. Our apparel has an eternal message.

We are currently in the process of partnering with The House DC based out of Washington D.C. whose aim is to transform and empower the lives of inner city youth and their families through Christ, by giving them hope, a productive future, and a changed community.

We have had a great opportunity to go out into Washington D.C. this past October and hand out clothing and talk to the homeless in the community. We not only want to cloth them with clothes but also with an eternal message. We are looking to expand this aspect in the near future and continuing to grow the outreach in our community.

The Fashion Part:

All of our designs are created with the intent of spreading the gospel. With that being the center of our approach we aim to create unique, thought provoking, and eye catching designs, which will encourage people to ask questions or make comments about our apparel. And when the questions are being asked or comments are being said it opens up a door to share the gospel with that person. All of our designs have a deeper meaning than what first meets the eye. For example, our Die Daily shirt has the “i” lying down like it’s dead, the Don’t Obey People’s expectations shirt is referring to Acts 5:29.

How can our readers connect with Faithfully There and where can they go to shop?

Our website is FaithfullyThere.com. To keep up with new apparel and promotions you can find us on Twitter and Instagram @FaithfullyThere. And you can also subscribe to our website to receive monthly updates on promotions, blogs, and events.

Get some Christmas shopping done today! Faithfully There is giving our readers 15% off your entire order until November 30th. Go shop and enter discount code: MadeWhole to get your discount.

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

12 Ways to Celebrate Thanksgiving with Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving Day approaches the rush that accompanies this season begins. But even through all of the craziness this season brings, we must never lose sight of the special meaning behind it.

Thanksgiving is more than just a holiday. It is a day of reflection. Reflecting on the goodness of the Lord and His blessings, and more importantly expressing gratitude towards Him for all that He has done and continues to do in our lives.

There are so many ways to celebrate God's goodness and His many blessings, and I wanted to share a few tips I gathered while perusing the internet.

Tree of Thanks – Take advantage of the fall leaves to build a Tree of Thanks. Send the kids to the back yard for a tree branch and some fallen leaves. Plant the branch in a pot filled with craft sand. As family members arrive for Thanksgiving dinner, let the kids give each person either a real leaf or a cut out leaf from paper and ask the guests to write something on the leaf for which they are thankful. Use either paperclips or Christmas tree ornament hangers to hand the leaves on the branch.

A Servant's Heart: Spend the Day Volunteering – Nothing will remind us more of how much we have to be thankful for than spending your day at your local homeless shelter or food kitchen serving Thanksgiving dinner.

Adopt a Family - This one is similar to "A Servant's Heart, but with a a more personal and heartfelt touch. Get together with friends or your small group and find a family, a widow, or single mother currently struggling with unemployment, unplanned emergency bills and other hardships. Adopt the family for Thanksgiving, and bless them with food supplies, thanksgiving dinner, clothes, and toys or even help with unexpected expenses. Want to make it extra special? Prepare the entire Thanksgiving dinner at your home or theirs and spend Thanksgiving with them.

Blessing Book – Start a blessing book by buying a simple journal and have each family member write down one blessing from the past year. Keep the journal from year to year and have family members add new blessings every year. For those children that are not yet able to write, a simple picture will do.

The Wall of Gratitude - Pick out an entire wall for posting words of thanks throughout the Thanksgiving season. In your church or in your home, clearing out some wall space for “family” members to contribute thoughts, show gratitude and express thanks in writing and is perfect for cultivating an environment of thanksgiving as well as a place to reflect on some good news, for change. Get creative!

A Family Cookbook - Create a family cookbook by asking family members to bring their favorite recipe to Thanksgiving dinner. After you have finished your family cookbooks, give them as gifts to your family for Christmas.

Thanksgiving Communion - Have a family Communion on Thanksgiving to give thanks by reflecting Christ's life, death and resurrection.

A Thanksgiving Offering - Collect a Thanksgiving offering for a family in need or one of your favorite charities.

Make Thanksgiving Dinner Together – Give everyone small tasks like cleaning and peeling the potatoes, setting the table, and rolling out the crust for the pumpkin pie. Remember kids love to help, so use the opportunity to involve and enjoy them. The Thanksgiving meal may not end up meeting your standards, but the time well spent as a family is definitely well worth it!

Make a Memory Video - This year for a fun Thanksgiving activity, break out the video camera or camera phones. Have each person at the table talk about their favorite event, memory or blessing from the past year, as well as a hope or wish for the upcoming year. Be sure that every person at Thanksgiving dinner participates. You can even send a copy of the video to any family members who weren't able to share the day, or upload the video to your family website or digital scrapbook. Next Thanksgiving, play the old video and make a new one. Keep the tradition going!

Day After Thanksgiving Brunch - Host a brunch the morning after Thanksgiving. It's a great way to get rid of all those yummy leftovers, and enjoy a little extra time with family and friends.

Create a Gratitude Tablecloth - Create a plain tablecloth transformed into a family heirloom that will be cherished for generations. Place fabric markers around the Thanksgiving table and encourage guests to sign the tablecloth. They can also write a short blessing or message, and be sure to include the year. Each Thanksgiving, add more to the tablecloth and read over the notes from the previous years.

Share with us some ways you celebrate Thanksgiving with your loved ones?

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

How to Have a Daily Quiet Time Routine

Finding the right place, the right time, and the right way to enjoy uninterrupted time with God. 

I get it. Life gets crazy. If you're parent then you know that it can be like fighting tooth and nail to get to the feet of Jesus every day. If you're single and live with your parents or with roommates, you may also find it challenging to just spend time with God.

As Christians, our Spiritual health can be traced to how much time we are spending with God praying, worshiping and studying His word.

I don't know about you, but when I haven't spent time before God I am not the most gracious person. When we start off our day with Jesus, we become more like Him. We love more like Him. We look more like Him.

Getting in your Word, in prayer, and worship, are essential and crucial to knowing God's will and growing in your faith. But it can be hard to know exactly where to start. Make that time with God a priority even if you have to develop a balanced and realistic plan, and schedule out what you will do the night before if you have to.

Here are a few tips that will show you how to make and keep quiet time with the Lord every day.

Where - It is so important that you find a nice and quiet place. Find a place where you can focus. Jesus said enter into your closet and pray (Matthew 6:6). Hey, whatever works, right? Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom. Get to that place! In the Bible when Jesus went to go before His Father, He always left to a quiet place to be alone with God. So should we.

When - We know from the Bible that Jesus went before God in the early hours of the morning. I believe that the success of Jesus' ministry was partly due to that uninterrupted quiet time spent in prayer and worship with His Father (and the other part being He was God, of course). If you are serious about this, start with setting your alarm to wake you up at 3:00 or 4:00 AM. Everyone is sleeping and you have the place to yourself. If that's not an option try waking up an hour before your alarm goes off regularly. Find the right time for you. Your quiet time should last at least thirty minutes. But some time is better than no time at all, so if you can't do thirty minutes, start with fifteen. And make it your best time. Don't give Abba Father your leftovers. Don't try to fit Him into your schedule. Your schedule should fit around Him.

What - You don't go to war without your ammo, right? In order for you to have an effective quiet time you need to bring the right tools and supplies.

• You will need a good, study Bible. Perhaps one with large margins for jotting down notes.
• Get a pretty journal. Don't just get any plain notebook. This is God's time. invest in a beautiful journal that you will enjoy to share your heart in, and look back on years from now. You can use it to write down prayer requests, and other study notes..
• Highlighters and pens. Get into the habit of color-coding. You can create your own color-coding system to help you reference back later.
• Instrumental worship music. I love listening to Kari Jobe, Elevation Worship, and Jesus Culture to usher me into that zone of reckless abandon. But I noticed about a year ago that it began to distract me, because I would begin singing or humming and forgot where I was reading, so I started to listen to instrumental worship music. You can find some on Pandora and Spotify.

I recommend you place your Bible, journal, highlighters and pens in your quiet place you have chosen the night before, so that you have no delays or waste time. 

How - Get to your place. Get still and get quiet before God. Go before Him ready to receive His goodness through prayer and His Word. I personally do not pray until after I am done studying. God already knows my needs, but it is more important that I get to know Him more by spending time in His word. Follow an organized plan to read your Bible. You can find great Bible Reading Plans on YouVersion.You can read through a book, read with a devotional, study a character of the Bible, or study on a topic. Have you been worried lately or discouraged? Having a hard time forgiving? Use that to study God's Word. Be sure to listen to God as He speaks to you through His Word and write it down in your journal. Use your highlighters to color-code topical scriptures pertaining to forgiveness, grace, salvation, love, sin, etc.

Now you're ready to pray. Use what God spoke to your heart and ask God to show you how to apply it to your life. Thank Him for meeting you today in your quiet place. Bring before Him any prayer requests that you have been given. 

It isn't always easy to get into a routine, and sometimes life will throw a wrench into your day and your entire schedule may fall apart. But persistence births consistence. Expect the wrenches. Ask your family to respect your quiet time and to help you by removing any distractions during that time. Satan tries to limit your prayer and worship time, because He knows that your prayer and worship time limits him!

Fight for this time. Fight for this place. Strive to just spend time with God, rather than focus on how much time to spend with Him. It's not about how much you are in your word, but how much word is in you. Those around you should be able to see that you have been in the presence of the Lord, by the fruit that you bear from. 

This will require some sacrifice on your part, but Jesus is so worth it.

What tips do you have? Share with us how you do your quiet time. 

Also read: "5 Ways to Study Your Bible"

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

3 Ways to Battle Insecurity

I think all of us as women (and men) struggle with insecurity on some level or another; questioning and doubting ourselves. We tend to look outwardly for acceptance and affirmation to somehow establish some sort of identity. When we can't find it in others we just fake it until we make it, hiding behind the attractive facade we've created with the hopes that no one will see the insecure and broken woman behind that mask.

Insecurity is defined as, uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence; self-doubt; worry; unease.

I have battled with insecurities all my life, and if there is one thing I know for sure it is that if you are struggling with insecurity, you are struggling with other issues and when we get down to the nitty gritty of it all—it's root cause is rejection.   

As a young child my father cheated and then left my mother. He didn't come around a lot or made plans to see my sister and me, but never followed through. It left me feeling rejected. When it came to men and dating, I was extremely insecure. "Will he leave me too?" "Maybe, if I do this or that he will stay with me." You see that cycle?

Fast forward some years, and married, my husband had an affair a few months into our marriage. Although I had forgiven him, he was not sure he wanted to continue with the marriage. How does one get over such a betrayal, right? I was left feeling rejected, yet again, and insecurity followed not to far behind.

I can go on and on about the different stages in my life where my insecurities were a stronghold, not only in my relationships with men, but also with friends and even my own family. 

But the fact is, we cannot base our security on our spouses or boyfriends, being faithful to us, or our girlfriends being loyal to us, or our parents being present in our lives. What if they died tomorrow? 

You have to know that God is your security, that he does not change even when everyone else has.

So, how do we battle insecurity?

With your identity. Who are you? Who are you in Christ? If you are dealing with insecurity, most likely you have no idea who you are in Christ, you forgot somewhere along the way and need a little reminder:

• You are complete in Jesus. And you are complete in Him, made full and having come to fullness of life [in Christ you too are filled with the Godhead—Father, Son and Holy Spirit—and reach full spiritual stature]. And He is the Head of all rule and authority [of every angelic principality and power]. Colossians 2:10
• You are an Heir with Jesus. and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. Romans 8:17
• You are alive in Jesus. even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved). Ephesians 2:5
• You have been set apart. 'Thus you are to be holy to Me, for I the LORD am holy; and I have set you apart from the peoples to be Mine. Leviticus 20:26
• You are a daughter of the Lord. “I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:18

Stop comparing. Theodore Roosevelt said it best: "Comparison is the thief of joy." And since Jesus is the giver of joy, that's where we should be looking. So much of why we struggle with insecurity is because we are comparing our private lives to everyone else's public presentation of perfection. I promise you their life is not perfect! Even the most beautiful of women have insecurities and wish they looked like someone else.

You don't need to question and compare yourself. You are where God wants you to be, and you are who God wants you to be, so stop telling Him he made a mistake. God doesn't make mistakes. He loves you just the way you are. Every facet of you was made in His image. It doesn't matter how you dress, how you look, what car you drive, or how big your house is...Jesus loves you no matter what. Recognize that you can never compare to anyone else and no one can ever compare to you. He didn't design us that way. He created us in our own unique and beautiful way. Embrace it and work on being content with your portion.

Fix your eyes on Jesus. This is it. I didn't make this the first one, because I wanted to save the best for last. Instead of looking around you to people or the temporal things of this world to make you feel happy and secure—Look to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith. Your Healer. Your Comforter. Your Abba Father. When we take our eyes off of Jesus the world spoils our mind by telling us how we should look, or how we should dress to be accepted. But Jesus was rejected on the cross so that we could be accepted. When we keep our eyes, heart, and mind fixed on Christ we experience His presence in our lives. A presence that brings us unsurpassing peace, love, hope, grace, freedom, and finally true and genuine security.

How do you battle your feelings of insecurities? Do you have a favorite verse that helps you combat those feelings when they do arise?

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

How to Love Your Husband When He Has Betrayed You

Learning to love like Jesus when your spouse has betrayed you.

I can imagine the look on your face, when you read that title. I know, because there was a time I would have felt the exact same way. The thought of loving my husband after I had discovered his indiscretions in our marriage was the furthest thing on my mind, or my heart.

Taking Your Worries and Concerns to God

Let's face it, sometimes life is just downright difficult. Then you find that you begin to fear the uncertainty of the future. So what do you do? You worry. You worry about relationships, finances, health, our families, and the list goes on.

If you are like me—a "worrier" by nature—it is probably time to rethink the way that you think! By now you have probably formed the unfortunate and unhealthy habit of focusing too intently on negative aspects of your life, and focusing less on counting your blessings. 

This isn't how Jesus wants you to live your life. He wants your burdens in exchange for His peace. He wants you to take your worries and lay them all at His feet...and leave them there. When you learn to worry less and trust God a little more you begin to experience a peace that surpasses all understanding. Not a interim peace that comes from taking a hot bubble bath on a stressful day (although it helps), or from a rather large glass of wine (not too bad either) after a viciously long work day. No. It is an indelible and abiding peace that can only be found when we relinquish all control in every area of our life and allow Jesus to lead. 

Psalm 55:22 reminds us to cast our burdens onto the Lord, and He shall sustain us; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. So why are you worried? Once we cast our burden on the Lord, He sustains us, and then he never permits us—his righteous children—to be moved. That means that nothing in this world can move us, if we have already cast all our cares on to Him. It's what He wants us to do. Kay Arthur said it best, "Anxiety may be natural and normal for the world, but it is not to be part of a believer's lifestyle." So, you see worrying has no place in your life. Relying on Jesus' Word and His promises does. 

Evil exists and hard times can envelop us, but our Heavenly Father still reigns. He is the light.

I once read a quote that said worry is the senseless process of cluttering up tomorrow's opportunities with leftover problems from today. Powerful, huh? So you want to make the most out of this day, bring all your worries, and all your concerns and lay them all down at the cross. Turn them over to a Power greater than yourself. Then just trust God to do the rest. 

"We are not called to be burden-bearers, but cross-bearers and light-bearers. We must cast our burdens on the Lord. - Corrie Ten Boom

Also read: 10 Verses When You're Battling Discouragement and Depression.

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.

10 Verses On Waiting On God and His Timing

Do you feel like Jesus is holding out on you? 

Know that He has a great plan for you. You may feel like Jesus is holding out on you. You may feel like he is staying away during your times you need Him the most. I don’t know Jesus’ plan for you, but I promise you that His plan is bigger than yours or mine. Trust him.

Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. - Psalm 25:5

But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! - Psalm 31:14-15

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! - Psalm 37:7

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Deliver me from all my transgressions. Do not make me the scorn of the fool! - Psalm 39:7-8

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. - Psalm 62:1-2

The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season. You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. - Psalm 145:15-16

Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. - Isaiah 30:18

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31

Thus says the LORD: "In a time of favor I have answered you; in a day of salvation I have helped you. - Isaiah 49:8

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end--it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. - Habakkuk 2:3

Want to stay reminded of the importance of waiting on God and His timing? Print our 10 Verses On Waiting On God and His Timing here. 

About the Author :

Carmen Miller is happily married mother of 5 and wife to Jarrad. As Founder of Whole Magazine, and Co-Founder of God Over Porn; Carmen's heart's passion is to see broken women made whole through the power of Jesus Christ.