7 Practical Ways to Love Jesus Through the School Year

September comes with a little bit of coolness to remind us the summer months are over and a realization that this school business is serious. For some of us, the cool weather can cause coldness in our relationship with the LORD. The busyness that comes with getting in a routine for school and other extra-curricular activities can seem to cloud our love for our King. In my relationship with the LORD, I have found it is so important to fight for time with Him and intentionally find ways to keep my fire burning.

I hope some of these practical tips can help others keep the LORD as their first love:

1. Wake up a little earlier in the morning to spend time with Him: This has been the most important thing I have done in my relationship with the LORD. Spending time with Him in the morning is a declaration that He is LORD over your day, and you choose to put Him first above all. When you are entering a stressful season in your life, it’s important to spend even more time with God to receive clarity on how handle different situations.

2. Unplug a little bit more: We are constantly surrounded by all kinds of technology and sometimes it’s so hard to get away from it and just sit quietly before Him. Learning to “unplug” from technology on a regular basis creates a deeper intimacy with the LORD.

3. Engage in Worship Times: Worshipping is a huge way to set your heart on the LORD and make Him bigger, while making yourself and your issues smaller. Whether it’s a quick jam session to worship music in your car, or singing loud to God in the bathroom. Find your special way to refocus on the One who truly matters.

4. Have mini-prayer times in between classes: While walking across the school to your next class, sneak in a little conversation time with the King.

5. Set a marker on campus/have a prayer corner: At my undergrad college I had a spot on the swing that reminded me to pray on campus. Every time I passed by it, I would be reminded to pray and after a while it became automatic. God thoughts started popping up before I got to the swing. This is one of the most intentional ways I found to keep my mind set on the LORD while in college.

6. Serve others: We are never closer to the heart of God than we are when we get out of ourselves, leave behind our agendas and pour into other people. Find opportunities in your school and community to connect with God in this way.

7. Find an encouraging group of Christians to meet with and talk about the LORD: While we are called to be the light in the midst of the darkness, it is important to have a group of people who you can comfortably talk about what the LORD is teaching you and know they understand. It is so important to be filled up and held accountable while we try to shine light into the dark places.
   
   
   
   
   
   

Salem Afangideh is a second year law student that moved from Nigeria, Africa to Alabama. Her passions include pursuing and being pursued by Jesus, fighting against human trafficking, bringing justice and compassion to wherever God leads her, speaking and writing to encourage others in their relationships with the LORD. When she is not too busy studying you can find her blogging at setapartwarriorprincess.blogspot.com or on instagram @afro_princess.


[photo: Angelo Gonzalez, Creative Commons]

Serving My King

The Day I Say "I Do"

I have an entire board on Pinterest called “future and beyond” dedicated to this day, and if you have caught the Pinterest bug and are not yet married, chances are you probably have a similar Pinterest board. However, even before Pinterest fueled our thoughts of our future wedding day, most of us girls have spent a good bit of time thinking about the day – it’s almost apart of being a girl.

I hope I will marry a man who is not only gorgeous on the outside, but has a heart that pursues Christ. I pray that he is a man who is strong and secure enough in His relationship with His King, to lead me. My prayer is that he will be the person I can serve the LORD the most with, and God's vision for His life will be suitable with the path God has called me to walk on. I pray this man will not be perfect, but will set His eyes and heart on the One who is perfect and will live His life modeled after the perfect lover – Jesus Christ.

My dream for my wedding day is to create a day solely dedicated to making God’s name famous (like any other day should be). So rather than fix my heart on what kinds of flowers I will have, or how to make sure my day is picture perfect, I hope my heart will be fixed on the beauty of Jesus and the wonderful gift He has entrusted to me on that day – the heart of His son, my future husband. I hope it will be a day when I can show honor to my parents for training me to love Jesus, for putting up with me, and loving me unconditionally. I hope I would be true to my vow to save my first kiss till the altar so I can be an example of purity to the younger generation of girls whose hearts I have been entrusted with. I hope my groom will see in me a radiance that will not come from my makeup or the white dress, but radiance found in a woman who is in relentless pursuit of her Savior.

If the LORD blesses me with the privilege of being married, I dream of having a Christ-centered wedding day, and that dream helps me not obsess over wedding boards on Pinterest, or make a wedding day my ultimate goal. Instead, I choose to intentionally focus on serving my King through the ordinariness of my everyday life. Although my wedding day will be a special day, it is just like any other day – an opportunity to serve and bring glory to my King.

[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]

Salem Afangideh is a second year law student that moved from Nigeria, Africa to Alabama. Her passions include pursuing and being pursued by Jesus, fighting against human trafficking, bringing justice and compassion to wherever God leads her, speaking and writing to encourage others in their relationships with the LORD. When she is not too busy studying you can find her blogging at setapartwarriorprincess.blogspot.com or on instagram @afro_princess.

When He Stretches Your Faith

I was talking with God the other day and I mentioned how it would be nice if He gave me the topics He wanted me to write on in advance. I expressed how it would make me a lot more efficient and I would have more peace of mind.

That’s when He laughed and posed the following question:

“Why would I do that?”

It was more of a rhetorical question because He instantly flooded me with insight. His words…

“I’m not about your comfort. I’m about your growth. I will not feed your flesh by succumbing to your desire to be in control. I am stretching your faith. Your peace of mind should not be jeopardized because you don’t know what’s coming next or when it’s coming. You should be able to operate in full peace with the knowledge that insight, wisdom, and revelation WILL COME. I know you. You’re prone to works of the flesh and you tend to think that your efficiency is of your own doing when you are able check it off your list. You can’t do this without me. It’s through me that you are able to do anything. You must remain fully submitted and dependent on me to deliver—when I see fit. You can’t force fit me into your schedule. Be patient. Remain ready to respond. I will give you what you can handle and you can practice a much needed discipline called—“Wait on God.”

Too often we look at what God is withholding from us instead of looking to what He’s striving to develop within us. He’s already given us the greatest gift…Jesus. So, He’s not opposed to giving us good things to make life easier for us, but if He chooses to delay a desire we must seek His perspective and ask what He wants to develop in our character by keeping that “thing” just out of our reach. Is your faith being stretched? Is God striving to ensure you remain completely dependent on Him? God is calling you advanced levels of spiritual maturity on a daily basis. Go deeper. What area is God trying to work on within you by keeping that thing out of your reach? Just ask Him. Allow yourself to be stretched. Let your faith grow.

“For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” -James 1:3-4 (NLT)

[photo credit: Dolfi, Flickr]

Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."

Yielding to the Process

I attended a state of the market address in an effort to gain more insight about our current real estate market. After a grueling 2 hours of statistics, predictions, and trends the economist ended the presentation stating, “So…in a nutshell 2013 is going to look a lot like 2012.”

Seven percent. I have a 7% chance of selling the homes that I list. I work with re-sale residential properties and they don’t stand a chance with the influx of new construction sprouting up every day. Home values are down. Sellers don’t have any money. Lending regulations are strict. It’s depressing.

I started asking God to help me understand why I’m still here…in this position...doing this job…why? Clearly, He sees that I’m unhappy. I’m not passionate about real estate and each day it gets harder and harder to do my job with a good attitude. Why did He fill my heart with such vision and purpose only to keep me in this position? Why can’t I just get out there and start doing what He’s called me to do? Why?

God helped me to realize that He would love nothing more than to put me in my dream position of service to Him, but I’m not ready.

When we start our walk with Christ we undergo a demolition period. In some ways it feels like our world is being turned upside down, but really He’s setting us upright. We’re under construction. There are various phases of construction. The foundation must be deemed solid, sound, and capable of withstanding the pressure that the future home will place on it. Once the home is built numerous inspections must be passed prior to a home being declared “safe and habitable.” It’s a process.

We’re each at various stages within the construction period. Some are still laying the foundation, some may be reviewing the blueprint trying to decide if God is the “builder” they want to use, and others may very well be laying the final touches on their home. Wherever you’re at in the stage of construction God doesn’t want to keep you there. He wants you to pass the inspections and proceed to the next stage of construction, but too often we take short-cuts. We skimp on quality material and choose cheap substitutes and in doing so we compromise the integrity of our home.

We skimp on quality time with God and choose cheap substitutes to help fill the voids in our life instead of trusting our process to God and His timing. We get into works of the flesh and start trying to make stuff happen on our own because this process with God is just taking too long.

We need to pass the inspections, but it requires that we yield to the process and forgo our personal timeline. God wants to advance us because in doing so He places us in a position to further advance His kingdom, but if we aren’t structurally sound then we won’t have what it takes to maintain and sustain our structure.

If God gives us that ideal job, but we haven’t endured anything to get it…we may lack the characteristics—patience, perseverance, loyalty, steadfastness, faith—that it may take to keep us in that job. After all…that’s what we’re developing…right now…during our “under construction” period. He’s honing the characteristics that He knows we need to be successful. God wants us to be successful. He sees us. He is for us. He’s provided us with a glimpse of His purpose for us to fill us with the hope we need to get through the trying days. He wants to give us hope to remind us of what He has planned for us. He wants to give us this hope so we don’t skimp and take shortcuts during the construction phase….We need to be as structurally sound, solid, and strong as we can be to weather the storms that a life lived for Christ will bring.

So, today…be encouraged. Whatever phase of construction you’re in be reminded that God sees you. He has not forgotten about you. He knows what you are longing for and He wants to bring those visions to fruition, but you must commit yourself to the process. You must decide that no matter how long it takes…you’re committed to partnering with God and allowing Him to take you through each phase of construction until His vision is completely realized within you. Stay focused. Our structures are each unique—different floor plans, square foot ranges, and styles. We've each been “zoned” for various uses—some may be residential while others are commercial, but regardless if God wants to use you…let Him. Yield to the process. Trust His timing.

[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]

Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."

Grace: Four Truths

Dropping the ball seems to be my tendency this month.

My mind must be elsewhere because certain deadlines and due dates have completely eluded me (I ask myself, "Kristen, where is your brain?"). Thankfully, I am surrounded by many people who love the Lord, who are willing to extend me grace during these times of...well...being human.

Grace is a miracle. Let me specify, God's grace is a miracle. It is because of His grace that we have a new identity in Christ. That believers, who are sinners by nature, are able to become the righteousness of Christ. All of our darkest sins get washed away and we have the hope of eternal glory to look forward to someday. All because of grace. An absolute miracle.

As I read 1 Corinthians 15 this morning, some important truths about God's grace stood out to me. If you have ever found yourself wanting a deeper understanding of grace (that's me, for sure), then Paul's words here will bless you - and hopefully soften your heart to the miracle that grace is.

Paul aims to remind us of the gospel in this passage; for only in the full extent of the gospel can the miracle of grace be understood. And how often we need the reminder!

15 Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, 2 and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.

He reminds us of Christ's death for our sins, His burial, His resurrection, His appearing to the disciples and to five hundred witnesses, then to all the apostles. Lastly, Paul tells us how Christ appeared also to himself:

9 For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. 11 Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.

From these final verses, we glean four truths about God's miracle of grace:

ONE: It is God's grace that makes us who we are in Christ. Paul was Saul, the persecutor of Christians, before Christ transformed him by saving grace through faith. His identity is now in Christ, but this change was not his own doing, or by his own efforts! It was God's miraculous grace that claimed him. How can you apply this to your own story? How has grace transformed your identity? 

TWO: God's grace can be believed in vain. "In vain" means "without effect or avail; to no purpose." Paul reminds us that it is possible for grace to go unapplied to our lives--and what an unfortunate thing that would be! Christ gave His very life that we would be saved. May grace repurpose our lives as we submit to God's lordship and walk by faith. May it free us to live in the light of our new identity in Christ, holy, blameless and set apart for His purposes.

THREE: God's grace compels us away from sin, and toward godliness. Paul tells us that he "worked harder than any of [the apostles]"--but this is not a personal boast. He says that it was the grace of God that compelled his ministry. So then, grace motivates us by the Spirit at work within us to live holy lives that are zealous for good works (and what a wide range of good works there are--from outward acts to inward change, which are all precious to God).   

FOUR: We are instruments of God's grace. Paul says finally that the Corinthians believed as a result of the ministry of preaching, whether by his work or the apostles'. How is God using you as an instrument of His grace? 

Today, meditate on His miracle of grace. Live in its freedom. And praise Him for it!

Gracious Father, Thank you for grace. Where would I be without it? Thank You for sending Christ to save me, that I am what I am because of grace. Please work out Your grace in my life, as I trust You each moment. 

Amen.

[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]

Kristen Leigh Evensen is a writer, blogger and singer/songwriter. She writes on faith, identity and Scripture at The Identity Project. Her articles and blog also appear on iBelieve.com. Her desire is to see women transformed by the Gospel! Follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.

While You Wait

I had the privilege of discussing the importance of communication in marriage the other day with some really great women. So many of them where single and searching for their proclaimed “Mr. Right”, you know the fanatical perfect man who will sweep us off our feet and make everything right in our world.

What Do You Want Me to Do For You?

I’ve never allowed myself to want. I’ve never allowed myself room to dream. I’ve never given myself permission to hope for more than what I deemed reasonable, fair, deserved, or earned. 

I just didn’t believe that God was truly concerned about what I wanted.   

One day I read a story of a blind beggar named Bartimaeus. When Bartimaeus realized that Jesus was passing through his city he yelled for Him.  He cried out to Him.  People shouted for Bartimaeus to be quiet, but he only shouted louder for Jesus. When Jesus heard him, he stopped, and requested that Bartimaeus come to Him. That’s when Jesus asked…

 “What do you want me to do for you?”—Mark 11:51 (NLT)

That blind beggar Bartimaeus stated, “I want to see.”

Jesus knew what Bartimaeus needed, but He was concerned about what Bartimaeus wanted.  He took the time to not only stop, but to ask what Bartimaeus wanted so I imagine He cared. I imagine He still cares.

I may not be blind, but much like Bartimaeus what I truly want is to see.

I want to see myself as God sees me. 

I want to see who I am in Christ.

I want to see what He wants me to do.

I want to see how I can best serve Him.

I want to see His purpose for me. 

I want to see. 

If Jesus were to ask you, “what do you want me to do for you?” would you know?  Can you clearly identify what you want?  Are you so focused on what you don’t want that you have no idea what you truly desire?  Adopt a Bartimaeus attitude and call on Jesus.  Ask God to help you identify what you want.  He cares.  Give yourself permission to want.  Give yourself permission to desire.  Stop running away from your dreams.  Stop burying your desires under a bunch of activities. That discontentment is a direct challenge from God to dream.  Stop limiting yourself to just what you can understand or wrap your mind around.  God planted that desire in your heart, but you must be brave enough to acknowledge it and go for it.  God wants to do something for you today.  

What do you want?

[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]

Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."

Beautiful Imperfections

Embracing Your Imperfections Instead of Running Away From Them

My husband and I have been married for just over 9 months now, and during this time I have learnt much more about my imperfections than any other season of my life.

I have an attitude when I do not get my way, I am moody, I am impatient – I have serious heart issues that I never even knew were there. But, I try to cover it up. Being a new wife, I thought that everything always had to be perfect. I was obsessed with lists and doing everything according to the book – after all, everything had to be “perfect”. At one stage I went so overboard that my husband had to sit me down. What he told me then pierced right through to the core of my soul.

“Baby, what are you doing?” I stared at him, wondering what he meant. He had a sad, yet mildly frustrated expression on his face. “What do you mean? I am busy cleaning the house.” I finally replied. “I can see that, but when will you give yourself a break? You are always running around trying to get things done; you barely have time to sit down and spend time with me,” he said. Something clicked in my head. He was right. I thought back on my behaviour the past few months and was instantly filled with condemnation. I messed up yet again. He could see the distressing look on my face. I sat face down while he held both my small hands in his. He lifted my chin, looked me in the eye and said, “Baby, I know you are not perfect. In fact, I knew that when I married you. There is no need for you to over-compensate and cover up with deeds. I love you with all your imperfections.” That did it. I started crying because I could recognise my Heavenly Father’s voice in my husband.

I was so busy trying to be the “perfect” Proverbs 31 wife that I forgot about the more important things. I forgot to spend uninterrupted time with my husband, whether that be watching TV at home or going out for dinner. I was trying to put our marriage and life together in a box, running it according to my “to-do” list, afraid of failure. I realised that I sometimes do the same with the Lord. I try so hard to keep busy so that I have no time to sit down, spend uninterrupted time with Him and allow Him to minister to me about the true condition of my heart. It is always a touch-and-go kind of situation. So, I over-compensate with my “good deeds” to cover it up. Then, He would tell me exactly what my husband told me. “Be at peace, give yourself a break. I know you are not perfect. I knew that when I created you, and I knew it when I entered into this intimate relationship with you. I love you – imperfections and all.”

That conversation with my husband really opened up my eyes. It allowed me to not only enjoy him more, but also my relationship with my Saviour. It made me see that there is beauty in imperfection – and that beauty is Jesus. Our imperfections push us closer to Him, to rely on His perfection instead of attempting to fix everything on our own. It opens up our eyes to His magnificence. His compassion. To His limitless grace and never-ending love. His love that allows us to embrace our faults instead of denying them, because we know we have a Saviour who loves us regardless of and despite our mistakes.

So, my dear sister, I encourage you to rest in the Lord. Give yourself a break every now and again, and refuse to be the most judgemental person in your life. Learn to see the beauty in your imperfections, because it is okay to not be perfect. Find peace in the fact that Jesus does not expect you to be perfect. He love you – imperfections and all.

[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]

Danelle Vingtas is the Founder of South African based young women’s ministry, Proverbs 31 Sisterhood. Through her testimony she is determined to show the love of Jesus to the young women of this generation. She believes that knowing your worth in Christ is not only the door to a better self-image and future, but more importantly...a better eternity. Through P31 Sisterhood, she hopes to re-establish the standard on which this exact scripture is based and to influence young women to be virtuous.

Last Nerve

I love my children.  They are an amazing bundle of personality and all my good looks. But, at 6:00 am—I’m not fond of them.  

I must literally drag my son out of bed.  He never wants to wake up.  He makes getting dressed a true chore.  He carelessly puts back on his pajama t-shirt instead of the shirt of choice for the day.  Most days he greets me with his shirt collar flipped up, shirt half-tucked in his pants, socks on inside out, and shoes on the wrong feet. 

I don’t have an issue getting my daughter dressed.  The problem is she only wants to wear her princess gowns and cowboy boots. It’s a challenge convincing my daughter that she does not need to take every single doll baby with her to daycare.  She seems to think they are her children and gets upset when I leave any of them behind. 

It is a scramble to get everyone out the door on time and most days prior to even making it to my office I’m already on my “last nerve.” 

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”John 15:1-2 (NIV)

God may not immediately deliver us from our uncomfortable situations.  God uses these moments to control and direct our growth.  It’s an act of pruning.  Every morning He’s pruning me.  He’s helping me to bear fruit.  Each morning I have a choice.  I can choose to snap at my kids, allow myself to become overly stressed out, and give away all the peace and joy that a relationship with Christ affords me, or, I can choose to operate within His spirit and allow these moments to prune the branch of patience, prune the branch of compassion, and prune the branch of self-discipline. I can be a mom who loses her mind every morning or I can embrace each challenging morning with the knowledge that He’s making me better.  He’s making me fruitful.  All I have to do is reject my initial reaction and respond in the Spirit. 

God needs us to bear fruit…continuously.  Not just one time, but again and again.  God has broken off every unfruitful “branch”, but in order for us to continue to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, kindness, faithfulness, compassion, and self-control we must be pruned.  God will skillfully cut and trim within limit to ensure that our branches remain prolific, but it’s not without some discomfort.  

So, today if you feel like God is out in your garden in a full-blown pruning session…just thank Him.  Right there…in the middle of every single irritating challenge….thank Him.  He’s increasing your supply.  He’s increasing your ability to bear fruit.  He’s increasing your future harvest.  Then ask Him for a fresh supply of energy and strength to remain and act within His spirit as that co-worker, child, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, or client tap dances all on your “last nerve!”  You can do it.  As long as you stay connected to the one true vine...JESUS!

[photo credit: Shannon Lee Miller]

Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."

Correction Is Okay

Correction. It can be ugly.  Our instincts kick in and our natural tendency is to attack.  Teeth bared and claws fully exposed we tear into the individual who had the audacity to correct us.  We often miss the message because we’re caught up in the tone of delivery or the status of the messenger.  

I can be very defensive.  I have gotten better, but I have my moments.  I’m particularly sensitive about my children.  I remember their dad asking if I had made sure to put on their coat and hat because it was so cold outside.  But, I did not hear that.  I heard, “You’re a bad mom.  You’re always rushing so you probably forgot.  I don’t trust you to take care of the kids.”  But, he had not said ANY OF THAT.  I allowed my personal insecurities to distort his question and then I held him responsible for my over-active imagination by responding harshly. 

Truth is…some days I do feel like a bad mom, some days I do rush too much, some days I forget important stuff, and some days I wonder why God trusted ME with these two precious little people. 

 “A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy.”— Proverbs 29:1

The need to become defensive is often an indication that there’s some truth hidden in the statement.  If it’s not true, disregard it—don’t get ignorant or irritated. Smile and keep it moving. If the critique is justified—learn from it.  CHECK YOURSELF.  If your first inclination is to get mad then you have stumbled upon an area of weakness and possible insecurity in your life.  This is wonderful!  This acknowledgement of weakness and a willingness to accept responsibility empowers you to seek prayer in this area and actively work towards change.  Every time you refuse to acknowledge the wisdom that resides in a critique you are choosing to stunt your own growth.  

So, today ask yourself…why are you getting in the way? God uses everything—the nice, the bad, the ugly, the mean, and the malicious. Get beyond the perceived intent of the messenger and be willing to acknowledge that glimmer of truth that could serve as the greatest catalyst towards personal growth.  The next time that someone “tells you about yourself” don’t immediately reject it.  Evaluate the critique.  What needs to be addressed—a character flaw, moral weakness, an outdated belief system, or a personal insecurity?  Ask God is HE trying to tell you something.  He may have deemed you fit and ready for advancement.  Don’t let your pride make you miss out on your next assignment.  Don’t allow your pride to ruin a relationship.   

[photo: Shannon Lee Miller]

Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. She graduated from Fayetteville State University in 2012 with a BS in Psychology. Her motto is: "Be Authentic. Live Honestly. Dispel Light."

Cultivating A Fervent Prayer Life

I reached a point where I felt I was ineffective in prayer.  One of my goals for 2013 was to increase my prayer life, but the moment I sat down with God to “pray” I was usually at a loss for words.

One day as I was reading the Bible God took me to the passage in John where some of disciples had been fishing all night, but they had not caught anything.  Jesus came and told them to go back out, cast their net to the right, and try again.  Lo and behold they caught a ton of fish.  (John 21:2-6) 

This story helped me to realize that in order to increase the effectiveness of my prayer life…like the fisherman…I needed to go back out, cast my net (prayers) the right (God’s) way.  It was not that I was ineffective as a person, but my technique needed an adjustment.

1. Give it Right Back to Him.

As a parent I love when Aiden receives my advice and offers it back to me during a discussion.  For instance, when we’re riding bikes he’ll remind me how important it is to look both ways and pay attention to his surroundings.  I’m so proud of him for listening and applying my advice.  I want to reward him…maybe it’s just a high-five or “I’m proud of you” but, either way it makes me smile.  God is same way.  He wants to know that we’re listening and applying His advice (His Word).  When we include His Word in our prayers we forsake our selfish and shallow nature by drawing on the depth found in His Word.

 “It is the same with my word.  I send it out, and it always produces fruit.  It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” Isaiah 55:11-12 (NLT)

2. Remember the “Sandwich.”

I remember learning a correction technique a long time ago.  They started with a compliment, progressed to the critique, and ended with a compliment.  I took a similar approach to my prayer life, but instead I choose to PRAISE-REQUEST-PRAISE.  I praise God for who He is.  I praise God for gifting me with His Spirit.  I follow my praise with my request.  Then I end with praise and I thank Him in full faith and confidence for the help He will provide.  Overwhelming circumstances tend to drag us to our knees so I have found that praising God really lifts my spirits because it reminds me of who He is and it affords me perspective during a time when I could easily allow my spirit to be troubled.

3. Use Your Resources

I love my concordance at the back of my Bible. If I am struggling to maintain my peace I scroll to the word “peace”, locate all the scriptures that relate, and then WRITE down my prayer.  I have a hard time reciting scripture off the top of my head so by writing my prayers down I can ensure that when I sit before God I’m praying His word, praying for the individuals I’ve said I would pray for, and proactively praying for changes I hope to see.  There are a number of useful websites and devotionals that also aid you in cultivating your prayer life. 

4. In Faith and Unceasingly

Believe that you are in full agreement with God’s will for that area in your life because you have prayed His Word and believe that He will work to cooperate with you.  That’s how you stay in faith.  You may not see an immediate change, but God tells us to pray unceasingly.  So, continue to pray that prayer until you see the change you desire.  

“And it is impossible to please God without faith.  Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek Him.”Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)

Keep in mind that this works for me. Allow His Spirit to guide you as you seek to cultivate your prayer life.  I keep all my prayers in a small journal and some prayers are based on a “topic” while others are based on an “individual.” 

This is one of my personal prayers…

Father God,

Thank you Lord for being my light and my salvation (Psalm 27:1).  You are amazing and I love You.  Search me and know my heart.  Test me and reveal my anxious thoughts.  Shine light on everything in me that offends you and lead me along the right path (Psalm 139:23).  Your word tells me not to worry about anything, but to tell you what I need, and thank you for all you have done (Phil. 4:6).  So, thank you.  Humble me and lift me in honor (1 Peter 5:6).  Your word tells me I can give you my cares because you care for me (1 Peter 5:7).  Help me to do that.  Ease the performance anxiety that stems from pride, people pleasing, self-serving motives, and dead works.  Please restore, support, strengthen, and place me on a firm foundation to do the work you have qualified me to do (1 Peter 5:10).  Thank you for using me.  I love you for who You are and I thank You for You are doing within me, around me, and through me.

In Jesus Name. Amen.

Ashley Ivery is a single mother of two brilliant children, Aiden and Devyn, with an overwhelming desire to empower women and help them to realize the importance of a relationship with God. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women to claim their strength and value in Christ. 

Dating: Good Or Bad Fruit?

What is your dating relationship producing?

[Spoiler alert!] In a season one episode of Downton Abbey, we see a classic example of "good girl falls for bad boy". The tall, dark, notorious footman, Thomas, has conivingly convinced the innocent kitchen maid, Daisy, that he is worth trusting. Naturally, sweet Daisy falls for the bad boy, her emotions overtaking her reason. Thomas, however, feels absolutely nothing for her, using her for his own evil, twisted purposes.

She falls for his dirty schemes; she falls so hard that she begins to lie for him. More than once. She spats unkind words at the people she loves all because Thomas dislikes them. And ultimately she begins to lose a sense of her identity, morals and values altogether. 

Daisy eventually busts. Her good-natured heart cannot handle the negative results of her time spent with Thomas. She eventually frees herself and tells the truth to those she wronged.Have you ever been in a situation like Daisy's? Or rather, a relationship?
I think a very important question to be asking ourselves when dating is, "What is this relationship producing?" If our dating relationships are intended to be responses to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then certain traits will distinguish them as such. Let's call these traits "fruit", and let's look at a passage from Luke to unpack the importance of fruit, itself:

"A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thorn bushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart." (Luke 6)

Just as a tree is identified by its fruit, so a relationship's virtue or vice is identified by what it produces, both in the couple and in each individual person. Fruit, then, acts as an identifier. When picking a shiny, red apple from a tree, we can very confidently state that the tree is an "apple tree".But what about your relationship? When you examine its fruit, what is identified?

According to Galatians 5, there is a certain kind of spiritual fruit we should see being produced:

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

Because we are in Jesus Christ, we have been given the Holy Spirit to dwell within us. And the Holy Spirit produces unique, set-apart fruit within us! This fruit identifies who we are, and whose we are. Notice, though, that the fruit of the Spirit is not limited to our individual lives: "...let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives".

The Spirit's leading is also tantamount to our dating relationships because then, and only then, will we produce fruit that is lasting, good, and built on a firm foundation. 

I remember the moment when I once realized that a relationship of mine was not producing the fruit of the Spirit in me. At first it saddened me and shocked me. But eventually, there was freedom that came with this understanding, a deep knowing that Christ had given me the power to realize this--all because of the Spirit dwelling in me! When we allow the Spirit to lead us in our dating relationships, we "won't be doing what [the] sinful nature craves" (v.16). The sinful nature produces bad fruit, while the Spirit-led nature produces good fruit!

Here are a few questions we can ask to determine 

what fruit our dating relationships are producing:

Am I being led forth in peace? A very wise friend recently reminded me that the peace of God is the fruit of pursuing Him in everything we do. If we are truly seeking Christ and walking in righteousness, then He will give us deep peace if good fruit is yielded! Paul says in Philippians 4:  "...Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you."

Am I compromising in any way? If a relationship is causing us to brush aside our convictions and values in Christ, then good fruit is most likely not being produced. In Jesus we have "nailed the passions and desires of [our] sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there". A relationship should encourage us to be Spirit-led, not urge us into compromise. This could mean anything from physical and emotional boundaries, to brushing aside other equally important relationships.   

Are we serving one another in love? Mutual submission is key to any relationship, whether between family members, friends, or in dating. "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too" (Philippians 2:4). But service is a two-way street, and dating is an excellent way to see if both parties are willing to serve the other in love. The fruit of the Spirit is full of loving service: "Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another" (v. 26).

Does this relationship encourage community and accountability? "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12). We need the other important relationships in our lives to be strengthened consistently, especially during dating. Our family members and closest friends know us best and can speak into our lives. Isolation rarely produces good fruit. Is your relationship encouraging community?

Does this relationship encourage our walks with God? "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need" (Matthew 6:33). The first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord with everything in us. This is priority number one. Our dating should remain in right standing to this priority!

As a tree is identified by its fruit, so the foundation of our dating relationships will be identified by what is produced. 

What is your relationship producing? 

Father in Heaven, You relate to us perfectly. You made us to relate to You first and foremost, and then to one another. Thank you! Lead us by Your Spirit in every part of our lives, including our dating relationships. Lead us in peace, teach us to mutually serve, and provide us with community to spur us on to completion. Bear the fruit of the Spirit in us.

Amen.

[photo credit: Shannon Miller]

Kristen Leigh Evensen is a writer, blogger and singer/songwriter. She writes on faith, identity and Scripture at The Identity Project. Her articles and blog also appear on iBelieve.com. Her desire is to see women transformed by the Gospel! Follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.