By Kieya Hudson
That’s usually the first thing that spits out of someone’s mouth when asked about singleness. When I truly started following Christ and began to embrace my singleness, I did all of my “research.” I read blogs and watched videos and sermons on singleness. One word that remained the same throughout every source of my research was “contentment.” So I thought, “I’ll just be content in my singleness for a little bit and then God will send me my man.”
Boy was I wrong.
Our season of singleness is just what it is—a season. As the season goes on for weeks, months, and sometimes years, the anticipation of receiving our “Boaz” quickly turns into anxiety. Then the question comes, “Am I content enough?” This was something I struggled with big time.
Well, what exactly does it mean to be content?
How do you know that you’re content?
And most importantly, how do you remain content?
There is a difference between being content in your singleness and being content in God.
My Pastor taught on singleness not too long ago and this blew my mind. If God hasn’t given you the gift of celibacy, you will NEVER be content in your singleness. A very popular scripture confirms that, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God created us to be with each other. He knew that Adam wouldn’t be content alone, so He created Eve.
Now, being content in God is where The Lord wants us to be—at peace, resting in His promise. You see, we lose our contentment in God when we long for the affection and attention of men more than we do God. Many times, it’s our insecurities that cause us to lose our contentment in God. Before I found Christ, I’d fill my voids of insecurity with the attention and affection of men. If he told me that I was beautiful, then I was. If he said that he loved me, then I was loved. Beloved, stop trying to fill your voids with the love of a man in your season of singleness. When those insecurities rise up, remind yourself of God’s love for you.
God has us in seasons of singleness to grow us and to heal us. He wants you to fill your voids with His love in your singleness, so you won’t bring those voids into your marriage.Be content in His love and affection for you. All the attention you need is in Him. Child, you are the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8). You have the attention of the most amazing man ever. Isn’t that enough for you?
You know you’re content in God when you desire His love more than man’s love.
The Lord knows that you’ll never be content in your singleness. He created you to be with a man, in His timing. In your singleness, you will take an interest in guys and that’s okay. There will be times where you want to just go on a date with someone, and that’s okay too. But in those moments, ask yourself, do you desire that more than you desire being in His presence? Find where you lost your contentment in God. Is it an insecurity that caused it? Immediately, go into worship, “God, Your love is all I need. You alone fulfill me. You complete me, Lord.” A lifestyle of worship is a sure way to remain content in God.
So the question isn’t, "Am I content enough in my singleness?" It’s, "Am I content in God’s love for me in this season of my life?" "Is God’s love for me enough?"
Seek after the attention and affection of your Lord and Savior—the One who’s love poured out of His veins for YOU. Don’t worry, He didn’t forget to make your “Boaz.”
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