It started pretty early for me. The first memory I have of sizing up the "competition" was in fourth grade. My "boyfriend" had broken up with me, taken back the necklace he had given me as a gift and gave it to his new girlfriend, my best friend, Missy. My heart was shattered. Missy was walking around so proud of her new status and I was wondering, "What does she have that I didn't?" Missy was a softball player and she had a sense of style that was carefree and a little on the tomboy side, I on the other hand, felt awkward and tried so hard to have the trendy stuff, but while everyone else had Chuck Taylors, I was wearing what my big brother and his friends referred to as "Bo-Bos". It just so happened that on this same day, I was going to ride the bus home with Missy and spend the night. I followed through with the first part, but called my mom to come get me before bed time came and cried most of the way home.
I spent the next twenty some years competing with girls in one way or another. I don't think this is unusual, especially in our world these days. Most of us feel like we need to size up the competition. Look at the girl next to you and notice everything she's wearing and doing, and compare it to what you have and do. For some reason, we see different as a threat. We can somehow decide if she is better or worse than us and usually find a reason to dislike her for it. This has nothing to do with HER and everything to do with US.
Insecurity:
1. uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.
2.the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection.
Do you see anything about that definition that sounds biblical? I don't. I see fear. I see a lack of understanding who God created us to be. I see a desperation for love.
I can sit here and tell you about a bazillion different reasons that I was insecure, or about all of the things that happened in my life that made me feel less or out of place. But that's not the answer, and it would be just one more thing for you to compare to, even if it made you feel "normal" or "not so bad after all." We have a tendency to look to others to feel like we are enough, to feel accepted or rejected.
"For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." -2 Timothy 1:7
You see, God made us to be filled by Him and Him alone. That desire you have to be loved, it's because He made you that way. He made you to crave His love. And He accepts you. Just as you are. All of your quirks, all of the failures, all of the baggage, all of the inadequacies, all of that self doubt. He's asking you to leave it behind. Leave it alone. And step forward to walk into the beautiful Light of His Presence and allow Him to define you.
Instead of looking to each other for comparison, let us each look to Christ as our example. He is the only one that we should ever be comparing ourselves to. We will never live up to His honor or glory, but we should be striving to be more like Him with every breath we take and every word we speak.
"and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" -Ephesians 4:24.
"Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding." - 2 Corinthians 10:12
Holy Spirit by Jesus Culture
There’s nothing worth more,
that will ever come close nothing can compare,
You’re our living hope
Your Presence Lord
I’ve tasted and seen, of the sweetest of Loves
Where my heart becomes free, and my shame is undone
In Your Presence Lord
Holy Spirit You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your Glory God is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your Presence Lord
Let us become more aware of Your Presence
Let us experience the Glory of Your Goodness
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