"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they
are doing.' And they divided up his clothes by casting lots."
Luke 23:34 (NIV)
Every time I read of Christ's crucifixion I am reminded of
many things, including the beauty of forgiveness and how easy it was for Jesus as he was nailed to the cross,
but how hard it can be for us- for me.
Why do we make
forgiveness so hard?
Sometimes we forgive, but we don' t allow ourselves to fully
forget. When that happens, our hearts hold on to pieces of the pain that we
once encountered by the person or event that caused it. And every time we think
of that person or event, reminders of pain sting us. Over and over again.
Is that what
forgiveness really looks like?
When we are wronged by someone, everything inside of us
feels shattered. We feel deceived, disappointed, and so very heartbroken. There
is truly no epitome to the amount of pain heartbreak brings. And if you're
someone who invests the entirety of your heart into your commitments, well, you
just feel damaged and destroyed- for good.
I'm the kind of girl who loves fearlessly and with
confidence. I believe that the people I meet are placed in my life for a
reason, and I believe that I am placed in the lives of others for a reason as
well. If I could only do one thing right
in this life, I would hope that it would be to love others as close to the mark
as God loves me. I invest my heart in people because God invests His heart in
me.
But before I invest, I commit. And before I commit, I pray- over, and over, and over again. A
lot of the decisions we make throughout our lives are life-changing ones. It's
important that we open our ears to God's voice and tune ourselves to hear what
He has to say about what it is we are considering. So that's exactly what I do;
I listen for God's voice, and when I feel that the answer has been planted in
my heart, I take it and go. No looking back.
Seasons change.
If you are someone who is struggling with learning how to
forgive, know that it's okay. Learning how to forgive does
not make you a bad person. Just like
healing, forgiveness, too, takes time. And when you commit to taking the
time to learn how to do it, God walks with you and He instructs you in the
process.
It is possible to learn how to forgive with a broken heart, because somewhere along the way you find healing. And that healing is exactly what you need in order to move forward. That healing is an affirmation that you're doing the right thing. You're providing an act of true love.
For the past five or six weeks now, I've been on the journey
of learning how to forgive fully and faithfully. You'll question, you'll cry, and you'll want to give up. But God will
answer, wipe your tears, and encourage you to keep going.
I want to share a few things with you that have been
beneficial to me.
1) Pray Without
Ceasing
Instead of waiting for an apology, I want to encourage you
to pray for the person who wronged you. Don't worry or waste time waiting for
an apology. If you receive an apology,
that's wonderful and redemption is written all over that! But if you don't, know that redemption is also written
elsewhere, and it's through focusing on the Lord and His ways of showing you
how to forgive without the assistance of an apology.
When you think about this person, pray for them. When your emotions rise up against them, pray for them. When you just want to be
sad for a bit, be sad, but pray for them. When you feel like talking about it, talk to God and pray for them. When you can't sleep, pray
for them. Any time that you find your mind wandering, pray for them. Pray without ceasing.
Pray that God will
break your heart for what breaks His. When we wrong the Lord, we break His
heart. But guess what? He forgives the inexcusable in us because He loves us. We must also forgive the inexcusable in others. When you
are wronged by someone, pray for growth in both of your spiritual lives. Ask God to give you His vision to see forgiveness for what it really is so that you may
use it to its fullest extent. Pray for the person in the midst of your pain.
This
is what forgiveness looks like; a true
act of love on Christ's behalf.
I have been so incredibly blessed by devoting myself to
prayer. My prayer life has flourished immensely, and it is truly the only thing
that has brought healing to my heart. When my mind wanders to the person, I
pray for them. When my mind wanders to the pain, I now thank God for it and
pray that He turns it into something beautiful. I want to encourage you to do the same.
2) Meditation
I've been reading the book of Psalms aloud to myself each
night before bed. Lamentation after lamentation. Tear after tear. But in the
midst of all the lamentations, there is joy. Pure joy and praise for God. And
it's so inspiring. In the midst of
my own lamentations, I, too, have felt joy and shouted many praises to God.
As I've been reading through Psalms, I've also been
highlighting the verses that have hit the heart real good. I want to share some
of my favorites with you.
"But You are a shield around me, O Lord; You bestow glory on me
and lift up my head." (Psalm 3:3, NIV)
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord, make
me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8, NIV)
"You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; You encourage
them, and You listen to their cry..." (Psalm 10:17, NIV)
"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into
light." (Psalm 18:28)
"I am still confident of
this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for
the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm
27:13-14, NIV)
"...seek peace and pursue it." (Psalm 34:14, NIV)
"For with you is the fountain of life; in Your light we see
light." (Psalm 36:9, NIV)
"You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay."
(Psalm 40:17, NIV)
"Send forth Your light and truth, let them guide me..."
(Psalm 43:3)
"Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing
praises.." (Psalm 47:6, NIV)
"For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide
even to the end." (Psalm 48:14, NIV)
These Psalms have worked wonders in my heart. I encourage you to pick
up a highlighter and start reading them. I've been reminded that in the midst
of my pain, God still deserves my attention and praise- every ounce of it. Wallowing in the pain is what Satan
wants you to do. Walking through the pain is what God wants you to do.
Trust that God
knows what He is doing. Know that
God is at work in unimaginable and unattainable ways, weaving your pain into
something for His glory. He is taking care of you- I promise. Healing is in
His hands.
Seasons come and go, but the way of the Lord remains firm
forever. Trust that God wants the absolute best for you. Because He does, and
He refuses to give you anything less than that. Wait for Him. It's all about
His timing, not yours.
There is beautiful hope in forgiveness. It is the giving, ah,
and
the receiving of life. Today, I invite you to partake in this ultimate
act of love and experience a transformation in your heart that will change your
life in magnificent, eye opening ways.
Faith can move the mountains. Let your faith move those mountains to allow way for your path to forgiveness. After all, the prisoner it really sets free is you.
God forgives the
inexcusable in you. Won't you forgive the inexcusable in others?
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