It was Friday evening, 7:46pm on Cleanse Day One. My dear friend Erika and
I were on day three of our Thirty Day Road to Perdition Challenge. The month
includes four separate cleanse days. I was certain, in this particular moment,
it was one of our worst ideas to date. I fantasized, for just a moment, about
the days when we bonded over salty chips, cheese dip, and $3 house margaritas.
Those were the good old days. Oh Monday…how long ago it seemed. Now, we were
reduced to chalky protein tablets and um, well, “cleansing agents.” We pouted
for a bit, decided to press on, and each retired to our respective bachelorette
pads.
If we couldn’t eat or sleep, we should at least read. This was no evening
to salivate over The Food Network. I could not help but laugh out loud as I
picked up my book and began reading where I had left off the evening before.
The author is recounting her first trip to a remote African village where she
meets a small child who is on the verge of death. A protruding belly, and only
days before dying of starvation. My laughter at God’s timing quickly turned to
tears and heartache over her account. In an instant, my #firstworldproblems,
were ridiculous. And just as God was redirecting my heart, Erika was reading
those same words. Our “plight” was put into perspective. This challenge and
this book we are reading was going to be about more than weight loss. As if we
should have been surprised, God always has something to show us. And He often
does it within our relationships.
God continues to reinforce the importance of real community and friendship.
One of my core beliefs is that God is just as concerned with me living a
meaningful and purposeful life on this Earth as He is in my eternal soul. This
life is a gift. Our trials and obstacles remind us of our need for Him, but I
believe he reveals to us everyday and through other people His character: his
kindness, goodness, and love. Accountability is essential for reaching a goal,
keeping a commitment, and experiencing real growth. I think accountability is
one of the most precious elements that can be added to a meaningful friendship.
Proverbs 27:17(NLT) tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a
friend.” Ladies, we can be intentional about creating a life of accountability.
The blessing are abundant.
Digging Deep Into Our Friendships…the Blessings of Accountability
It kills isolation. Why do we isolate ourselves during some
of our loneliest times? We know in our heads that our loved ones and friends
will be there for us, but we so often choose to walk alone during our darkest
hours, ashamed to share that pain. When you connect with a friend and choose to
open up, there is an immediate freedom. Our isolation vanishes, and a pathway
is cleared for trust and vulnerability. This leads to a deeper connection where
accountability can be set up.
It encourages us. Good friends can be our best cheerleaders.
However, it is your job to let them know what they are to be cheering for.
This doesn’t mean you have to tell every single friend your current life goal
or heartbreaking trial, but letting someone in to share in your burdens is
powerful. To have a friend, alongside you, praying with you and for you, is
better than any Stuart Smalley affirmation you can give yourself. Try it out.
You will find the more you encourage, the more you are encouraged yourself.
It’s a win win, my friends.
It challenges us. We are made to enjoy each other, and just
as much that, we are created to spur each other on—not accepting mediocrity, but
demanding better. I love this. Erika and I are not letting each other give up
this month. We are strong when the other is weak. And we are leaning on each
other during the "in betweens." Friendships that challenge go beyond a weight
loss goal, however. Often times our best friends are the ones who are not
afraid of ruffling our “selfish feathers.” They press in. Call us out. This
is the real work of love in action. By engaging, listening, and soaking in the
challenge, we can encounter bigger growth and more changes into becoming the
people we seek to be.
It points us back to God. Our friendships are bigger than
our problems. They are bigger than that terrible blind date. They are bigger
than contemplating if we should freeze our eggs? Kidding (not kidding). My best
moments in my friendships are when we are compelled to reorient our thinking and
remember the Truth. His Truth. “So then, since we have a great High Priest
who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we
believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all
of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the
throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find
grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:14-16 NLT)
He gets us.
“Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus
knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.”
Sweet friends, the hymn is true! What a Friend We Have in Jesus.
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