“You’re ugly.”
“You’re not good
enough.”
“No one will ever want to be
friends with you, or date you, because you aren’t pretty enough.”
“There’s nothing unique or
special about you.”
These are all
lies I used to tell myself on a daily basis, and I have a good feeling that I’m
not the only woman who has said these things to herself. We all do it. We live
in an incredibly vain world today that believes beauty is everything. It defines
our worth, it gets us farther in our careers, it determines who we spend our
time with. Beauty, in a lot of ways, controls everything. How often do we, or
other people, tell us these things and then we actually believe them? Be honest.
I remember one time I was walking around a mall and heard two guys grade me on a
number scale simply based on how I looked. They gave me a whopping 6. In that
moment, I actually believed it. There it was, the affirmation of what I already
thought was true. I wasn’t unique or special. I was just mediocre. And that idea
stayed with me and meshed with all the other lies I told myself. The lies
eventually became so much of who I thought I was that I actually hated myself.
It controlled every part of my life. I didn’t like hanging out with people or
meeting new people because I didn’t feel good or pretty enough for anyone. I
just simply hid. I had allowed my own self to be my own bully. And the sad part?
I know I’m not the only woman who has done this to herself. Bullying is a tragic
issue we have to deal with in the world today, and we don’t even realize that
we are our own bullies most of the time.
I’m going to
tell you what I learned on my own journey: beauty is defined within
ourselves. It’s a mentality. I realized the only way to know the definition
of beauty was by seeing my own beauty. And so a mental transformation began. I
am sharing this story with you because I know I am not the only woman who
struggles with this. In fact, I’m sure we all do. Here are some practical tips
that actually helped me drastically transform and heal my mind from all the
abuse I had done to it. I earnestly pray and believe these tips will help you
truly know that you are worthy, beautiful, unique, and one of a kind.
·
Feed Your Mind. It’s been known that if we tell ourselves
something enough, we start to believe it. So if we are telling ourselves lies,
then we actually believe the lies. But when we tell ourselves truth and positive
thoughts, well, that’s when the magic happens. You see, our minds are not so
different from our physical bodies. Just like how we need nutrition to
physically thrive and stay healthy, so does our minds. This was probably the
most important lesson I learned. It may sound silly or ridiculous, but reading
positive affirmations every day can help tremendously. Think of it as food for
the mind. You simply write a positive thought down on a card or piece of paper
and read it over and over until you remember it. Take it everywhere with you. If
you are feeling particularly down, read it and remind yourself of it. You can
find all kinds of affirmations on the Internet or you can make your own up based
on what you need to hear that day, then read the affirmation in the morning and
at night. It felt ridiculous when I first started reading them, but over time, I
began to believe them and it made a huge difference in how I saw and felt about
myself. Here are a couple examples of affirmations you can use:
-I forgive myself for not feeling beautiful, because I am
beautiful.
-I approve of who I am, what I stand for, and what I believe
in.
-No one else is exactly the same as me, and I am happy with who I
am.
·
Align Your Mind. When you do start to tell yourself lies,
catch them. Write them down somewhere and list them as lies. That way you can
know exactly what lie you’ve told yourself and follow it up with a positive
thought. Also, stop comparing yourself with others. Instead of concentrating
on what others have that you don’t, focus on what you have that they don’t.
This will remind you of how truly unique you are.
·
Remember This. God made you this way. He created the entire
universe and how it works, so if he designed you to look the way you do, it’s an
honor. He orchestrated every inch of your personal design, from your eye color
to your finger print. He gave it all to you for you to delight in. So don’t
allow yourself to see it as anything less than what it is. God created the
universe, and it was good. He created you, and believes you are good.
Shouldn’t you feel the same?
Beauty is defined within ourselves
and how we believe it to be. When we start to tell ourselves every day that we
are beautiful and unique creatures, we will believe it. We may not believe it
right away, but sure enough it’ll happen. We are the apples of His eye, and
He wants nothing more than for us to believe it too.
So just remember: what
you tell yourself is what you will believe. Fill your mind with truth and
beauty, and soon enough you won’t just believe it, you’ll radiate with it.
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