This past week has been very challenging to say in the
least- emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
It started off with news that one of my very best friends
was in the hospital; my sweet and precious grandmother. When I had free time to
offer, it all revolved around being with her. She was the only person I wanted
to be with. I would drop anything for her.
Seeing people in pain- family especially- is so incredibly hard
for me. For example, my twin brother once broke his jaw and I cried for 5 hours
straight at the sight of him in pain. To put it simply, I'm an emotional person.
My heart truly feels with the hearts of others. Seeing my grandmother in that
hospital bed, knowing there was nothing I could do tore me apart.
But every time I visited, my beautiful grandmother put that
beautiful smile on her face and did what she could to make me happy. She didn't
want my time with her to be just about her. The only thing she cared about was
that I was there with her, and she made sure to let me know just how much it
meant to her that I was there.
On the 5th day of her stay at the hospital, I called my
grandfather to double check and make sure that I could still come and visit
with my grandmother for the afternoon. Surprisingly, my grandmother picked up
the phone and told me she was happily pulling into the driveway and could not
wait to be back in her own comfy bed.
Finally, she was home sweet home.
Seeing my grandmother smile in the midst of her pain was a
treasure I'll always hold on to and carry with me. My grandmother's smile is
full of so much love for her family, happiness for her life, and gratitude for
her many blessings. Her smile radiates her heart and Who it belongs to. It's
not just her smile that is a treasure, it's all of who she is. My grandmother
is a beautiful jewel, formed in the very Hands of the One who blessed me with
her sweet spirit. And for that, I am above and beyond thankful.
One of my favorite Jesus Calling devotional's for this week
is about hidden treasures that God strategically places along the path of our
lives. Some of these treasures are trials, others are blessings that reveal His
Presence. My grandmother was faced with a huge trial for almost a week in that
hospital bed, yet she offered the treasure that revealed God's presence to me
in the midst of it all.
I searched for God when my grandmother was hurting, hoping
to receive a sign of His presence, and He gave me the glimpse that I was
looking for through her. Someone who was suffering, yet someone who was still
so happy to be where she was with the family she had.
Things took an unexpected twist on the day my grandmother
came home from the hospital. You see, I ended up in the hospital later that
night.
I was feeling really light-headed during the afternoon and
getting really cold wherever I went. My head was also hurting pretty bad, so I
took some medicine and laid down for a bit. I woke up feeling a lot better,
went out to do some ministry outreach later that evening, and had to come home
early because I started to feel worse than before. I decided to go to bed,
hoping that I could sleep it off. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. I started
having trouble breathing and ended up having to be rushed to the ER.
My heart rate was ridiculously high, my blood pressure
ridiculously low, and I had a fever of 103.3. The hospital kept me overnight
and gave me 4 liters of fluid. If I wouldn't have gone in when I did, I
probably would have been admitted for multiple days. I can't even remember half
of the night because I was so sick, but one thing I did think of was my
grandmother's smile, and I'm so very glad I held on to it.
And now, 5 days later, the roles have reversed. My
grandmother is hurting because she doesn't think there is anything she can do
to help me get better. After I came home from the hospital Tuesday morning, I
had another viral infection hit me and I'm still sick, and unfortunately highly contagious. It could be anywhere from between now and next week that I get better. But what my grandmother
doesn't know is that the sound of the smile in her voice when she calls to
check on me immediately shines light on my situation and through that, I
experience God's love and know that He is here.
This week has slowed me down tremendously. I always go 10
miles a minute, and now I'm going 0. With having to rest so
much, I've had so much time to just sit and think, and let me tell you, I've thought
about a lot- including this treasure hunt that we're all on. And oddly enough,
the Designer of our treasure maps is also the Ultimate jewel of the treasure
chest that we're searching for. He's also the Author of your story and the
Artist of creation; you and all living things that surround you.
God is the ultimate jewel, my friends, and He is richly
present in this sin-wracked world. Even when you're at darkest, those treasures
are still very-well lit. Open your eyes and search for them. You will find Him
if you seek Him. You will hear Him if you listen for His voice. I promise.
Search for these God-given, beautiful treasures with each
new day you open your eyes to. They are everywhere.
And hold on to what you find, you'll never know when you'll
need it.
"My purpose is that
they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full
riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God,
namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
-Colossians 2:2-3
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