Pregnant

 

Proverbs 23:18 (AMP):

“For surely there is a latter end (a future and a reward),
and your hope and expectation shall not be cut short.”

I hate disappointments. Everybody does. I would rather not expect or hope at all than get disappointed. I don’t need another heart-wrenching session. While we are walking in faith and believing, sometimes there is still that part of us that paints the worst case scenario. Brene Brown in her book Daring Greatly calls this foreboding joy. Here is what she says:

 

“It is easier to live disappointed than to feel disappointed. It feels more vulnerable to dip in and out of disappointment than to just set up camp there. You sacrifice joy but you suffer less pain…  We are trying to beat vulnerability to the punch. We don’t want to be blindsided by hurt. We don’t want to be blindsided by hurt. We don’t want to be caught off-guard, so we literally practice being devastated or never move from self-elected disappointment. We rehearse tragedy... We are afraid that the feeling of joy won’t last, or that there won’t be enough, or that the next transition to disappointment (or whatever is in store for us next) will be too difficult.”

This attitude is very prevalent in our relationship with God. One thing that is fundamental in this relationship is trust; total self-abandoning intimate trust. We say we trust God but we play Russian roulette. Believing God is not a game of chance. Believing God involves putting all our eggs in one basket.

God has amazing plans for our lives. We get to know about them through His word and our fellowship with Him. These promises are immediate, short term and long term. One reality we cannot deny about these promises is that there’s always a ‘waiting’ period. There are times we have to practice principles, believe with our heart and not our feet and wait with our eyes focused on a prize that seems not to be near. Romans 8:24-25 (The Message Translation) lets us know:
“That is why waiting does not diminish us; any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.”

I love the illustration of a pregnant mum. It kind of makes things clearer. For instance, God tells me He’s going to use me in the hidden crevices of Africa; healing the sick, raising the dead, giving children a chance of education and the likes. Of course, I receive this promise with joy in my heart. I get a new journal and start penning my plans; I go on the internet and start seeking out possible locations. I tell all my friends about me and I’m really excited. Let’s liken this to a woman who gets to know that she’s finally pregnant. She’s joyful and picking out baby names and making nursery plans. She’s telling everyone her joyful news and thinking about the college her son/daughter is going to attend.

Bam! Morning sickness hits, clothes don’t fit anymore, feet gets swollen, scaly pale skin, lower back pain every minute and all the symptoms that leave scratching and waddling. Pregnancy is not so fun anymore and everyone is getting the brunt of it. After the initial excitement and planning how God’s promises are going to come to pass, after a little discouragement from loved ones here and there, after you realize you can’t even afford a plane ticket talk less of setting up a foundation, you begin to get weary. Everything in your life seems to be static and there’s no indication of how God’s plans are going to come to fulfillment. You even wonder whether you heard right in the first place. You kind of forget about your growing baby whose little fingers and feet are slowly forming. You are getting enlarged in waiting.

I really think that every mother would be excited at her, let’s say, eighth month of pregnancy. Her little prince or princess is knocking slowly.  The longer she waits, the larger she becomes (literally) and the more joyful her expectancy. Things start to look up and you suddenly get connected with the right people. Plans start to fall into place and d-day looks around the corner. Things are more feasible now and you are expectant and joyful and your trust is renewed.

When the push comes to shove, we get tired of waiting. God’s promises get foggy and we just can’t hold on anymore. Romans 8:26-28 (The Message Translation):

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

These scriptures are a comfort to my heart every time, a soothing balm to my tired soul. It is normal and very necessary I wait. My baby gets larger when I wait. The more I wait, the more expectant I become and not the other way. The Holy Spirit is very aware of my deepest desires, my secret pain. The Holy Spirit is very versed with every trimester of my pregnancy and what happens between receiving and manifestation. The Holy Spirit is my assurance, the assurance that no matter how long I have to wait, not matter what curve life throws at me, every single detail of my life is being worked out by God for my good. This is the very reason I put all my eggs in one basket. This is why I allow the freefall of trusting take place. I trust anyway. I put the fear of disappointment at bay and actively hold on to God’s promises. I take them head on, applying His principles, remaining diligent while joyfully waiting.

Paul further says in Romans 8 that nothing can separate us from the love of God, absolutely nothing.

 

The threshold of His love extends till forever. So till forever, I’m putting all my eggs in my God-basket, my faith all our; ready for a freefall of unafraid trusting.

 

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About the Author: Ayotola Tehingbola

 

A lover of everything words and fine paper, Ayotola is pursuing Jesus in education, youth ministry, women empowerment, and public speaking. Her life's message is centered around breathtaking lifelong intimacy with God, refinement of individual character and finding and fulfilling God's plan for one's life. You can find her at her personal blog: ayotola.wordpress.com