I had the privilege of
discussing the importance of communication in marriage the other day
with some really great women. So many of them where single and
searching for their proclaimed “Mr. Right”, you know the
fanatical perfect man who will sweep us off our feet and make
everything right in our world.
While conversing with them
my heart and mind was searching for all the right things to say.
These were educated, beautiful, God-fearing women who all had
something to offer, but they were all caught up in this ideal
futuristic knight and shining armor carrying a bible badge and sword
with all of this knowledge, wisdom, and an established career well
beyond his years.
And so I began by explaining to them that your future husband is God made not Disney-inspired. This talk took them all by surprise but I thought it was
really important to make real-life connections to relationships
rather than stories that objectify men as a savior of the world.
I want women to really
understand that men are just like you; they have issues, concerns,
difficult days, insecurities, doubts, fears, and worries. They are
holding on to God’s grace, mercy, kindness, patience, and seeking
his purpose for their lives. They are doing all of this while leading
businesses, friends, family, and communities.
When you are looking for
what God would have for you in a relationship find the man that you
can come along side to help nurture, build, pray for and encourage.
Men need a helpmate, not a bible toting princess looking to be handed
the world and the red carpet. We have to be willing to get in the
trenches with an art project before we can stand alongside and
celebrate with a masterpiece.
Instead of being so
consumed with our future mate must-haves, we need to spend more
time investing in our preparation of who we need to be.
In the book of Esther it
talks explicitly about her 12-month preparation before she spent time
in the presence of the King. This time was spent beautifying her body
and preparing her mind. She was the woman who won the king’s heart
but she was also the influence who encouraged him to make a decision
that changed her nation for forever.
Before you begin quoting
the necessities of your prince, be sure you are equipped to be a
princess. Spend time with God and allow him to build up the
characteristics that are necessary for you to run a kingdom (your
household) and influence a nation (your children). Be committed to
that process in your heart and mind. Let the fruits of God spirit
work in and through so that they may be applicable in their time of
need.
While your working,
building and growing, God will find you trustworthy, accountable and
worthy of the right man. Not a perfect man but the man perfect for
you, and when he finds you he will find favor with the Lord. As a
helpmeet we have to be responsible stewards of our calling. We can’t
find ourselves falling prey to the all about me culture before we
even get started. The entirety of who we are as women in a
relationship is about giving, if we are only filled up on receiving
before we get started we will run out of steam early in our marriage.
As you wait for him, allow God to fill you up in this season until
your cup overflows. Let the gentle nature of the Holy Spirit fill you
with the power, perseverance, and presence you will need to carry out
a lifetime of treasure. He might be ready and waiting, the question
is are you?
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD. - Proverbs 18:22
[photo credit: Shannon L. Miller]
Tiffany Fulcher is a writer, entrepreneur, speaker, and a woman with a heart for God. As a mother and wife she understands God's desire for women to walk in their authoritative influence not just in their families but in the entirety of the world. Her passion is to encourage women to live by God's design and purpose for their lives. Her words to live by for all women is Impact, Impart, Influence.
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