Gracefully Gifted God-Esteem

Imagine waking up every morning and going about your daily routine. You shower, brush your teeth, and eat breakfast as you prepare for your classes or your job. Before heading out the door, you feel confident and hopeful. No matter what circumstances may lay ahead, you trust that God will take care of you! Now imagine going about this same procedure without having any confidence. Most mornings probably feel monotonous, and you’re surprised that you made it to see another day. Just looking at yourself in the mirror, even if for only a few seconds, is heartbreaking because you don’t love who you see.

For years, I embodied the latter scenario. Growing up, I experienced hardships that often left me discouraged. In elementary school, I skipped a grade and was bullied for being too smart and having ugly clothes, among other reasons. In middle school, I remember being ranked on a social networking site as one of the ugliest girls in the school. Needless to say, my personal insecurities only heightened, and I battled depression for years to come. I told myself that I was only a shy, quiet, and invisible person who did not deserve love from anyone, not even God.

The more I internalized these self-defeating thoughts, the harder it became for me to trust God. Every night, I would fall asleep in tears, sometimes wishing that my life could end. During the day, I carried myself in a manner that projected the hatred I held for myself. I never kept my head up when I walked, and I intentionally shied away from being in photographs. If I could not believe that God created me beautifully in His image, then how could I faithfully walk with my head high?

Since attending college, it has been a transformative experience for me to draw closer to God and learn more about His word. Through my school’s gospel choir, Black campus ministries, and other support networks, I have been encouraged to keep going! One of my favorite concepts that I have come to learn regards God-esteem. In his article, “Do You Possess Self-Esteem or God-Esteem?” Jeremy Miles writes,

“God-esteem is absolute. It is knowing and believing that redemption is not proof of our worth but of God’s grace. In other words, self-esteem is how you see yourself. God-esteem is how you know God sees you.”

In essence, God has gracefully gifted each and every one of us with His love as well as qualities that uniquely shape who we are. When He sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins, He provided us with a true testament of his unconditional love. Building a relationship with Him through prayer, fellowship, and studying His word reveals this reality and lays the foundation for a blissful confidence within us.

Today, I am still embarking on a journey to love myself and joyfully exude God-esteem. Although I always have more spiritual growth to pursue, God has honestly brought me so far from where I used to be. I share this testimony in hopes that everyone reading this might be encouraged to learn how God sees us and loves us all wholeheartedly. That alone is all the approval we need to feel beautiful enough!

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

Psalms 139:13-14 (NLT)

About the Author :

Jessica is currently a junior at Stanford University, majoring in African and African American Studies with a minor in Creative Writing. She is from Detroit, Michigan and is super passionate about her hometown, working with youth, writing, and ice cream.

Sex Is Worship

God’s standards are God’s standards. Period. While I strongly maintain that because we are in this world while not being of it, Christianity cannot afford to be static because culture isn’t it; this however does not mean that God’s word changes. We having the ministry of the Holy Spirit doesn’t change God’s word. The Holy Spirit confirms God’s word by opening it up in our hearts so we can receive the light of it. God’s word without the Holy Spirit who is revelation himself is just a lot of knowledge.

It is saddening that we can’t seem to find a meeting point in sexual matters though God’s stand is very clear. We make up all kinds of excuses and twist scriptures to suit our different contexts and sexual parameters. God’s word cuts across race and jobs and sexes and culture.

I think 1 Corinthians 6:16 – 7:2 is an effective summary of God’s view on sex. I have a particular likening to The Message Translation of the Bible by Eugene Peterson. It is current and very reflecting on our prevalent culture but at the same time; it seems to me, a very reflection of God’s heart. Here is the above scripture in this translation:

“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two shall become one.’ Since we want to be spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever – the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’ There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin, we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for 'becoming one' with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

7:1 Now, getting down to the question you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?

Certainly - but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder.”

Sex is good. Everything God created was beautiful and good. Sex was and still is an initiative of God and like so many other spiritual concepts; sex has been made perverse by the devil. The church should be place where people bring their questions about sex and its drives and what’s wrong and what’s not. The church should sing about sex. The church should write about sex. The church should teach and hold conferences about sex. People shouldn’t be ashamed to walk up to their pastors and leaders and ask questions. Sadly, it isn’t so. Sex is not dirty and secret. Sex is beautiful and was created by God for the enjoyment of man and woman only within a certain context: marriage. Susan Brown in her book 'Angry Conversations with God puts it this way', ‘Sexual intercourse is the one human experience that best describes the rapture we shall one day enjoy with Jesus, the Lover of our souls.’ Sex is worship, Sex glorifies God. Sex is communion.

Beautiful lady, you are worth more than an object of relief for some guy’s sexual drives. God’s idea of testosterone is to make a man pursue and commit; the kind of commitment that involves a covenant before Him. This sounds so old-fashioned but if he’s not married to you, he shouldn’t be having sex with you – any kind. It doesn’t matter that you’re engaged to him or that you love him or that you’ve been in that relationship for a very long time. The wrong kind of sex leaves you lonely, needy and insecure.  The wrong kind of sex abuses the finished work of Jesus on the cross. The wrong kind of sex desecrates your body. The wrong kind of sex splits you into little pieces, leaving you with a piece of everyone that you give yourself to.

I get this question a lot: how far is too far? Sweetheart, whatever you do, don’t lie to yourself. Verses 12-13 of the above scripture says:

“Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it is spiritually appropriate.  If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.

You know the old saying, ‘First you eat to live’, and then you eat to live?’ well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body.”

How far is too far is like asking how far in wrong can I indulge and still be saved. I’m not going to set limits for you. Set them yourself but make sure your eyes are on God’s word and your heart is open to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. But really, if sex is important to the survival of your relationship (for unmarried folks that is) I dare say you’re in the wrong relationship. You know, the mind is the first sexual organ. In God’s eye, you’ve had sex way before you had sex. Looking lustfully gets the job done. His hands are not in his back pocket when he’s kissing you. You’re not thinking of Jesus with his hands on your breasts. You’re definitely not worshipping when his hands are finding their place in your body. 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT) clearly puts it: “Run away from everything that stimulates youthful lust.” This means that there are particular music, people, kinds of parties, books, movies and the likes that we should clearly avoid.

While I can talk about how theology and psychology and science and culture supports that premarital sex is wrong, I would rather not. That’s because God standards are enough. I really should not need to hear it from here and here and there before I finally believe, apply the parts that is convenient for me and trash or make excuses for the ones that are not. 

I’m not dragging anyone back into any legalistic era or saying that God’s grace does not cover for our shortcomings. One more thing: grace doesn’t ‘help’ us sin more; grace isn’t an excuse to continue sinning. God forgives us and loves you and is never disappointed with us. He sees the finished work of Jesus on the cross instead of our sins. We remain the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ in spite of our shortcomings. God is not an impersonal force to be used to make people behave in a certain prescribed ways, but a personal Savior who has set us to live a free life. Sexual purity is a question of yes or no, period. I’m just saying that God’s standards are God’s standards and we should keep it that way. The idea of sexual purity came way before the law by the way. The book of Genesis clearly highlights that. Grace sets us free from sin. Grace helps. Grace frees from the bondage of subjecting to the whims and caprices of your body. Try upholding God’s standards and you’ll be surprised how much grace makes it easy.

The popular stance isn’t always the right one. It is hard and inconvenient and can turn a blind eye to it most times, but please listen to the tugging of the Holy Spirit on your heartstrings and do the right thing.

About the Author :

A lover of everything words and fine paper, Ayotola is pursuing Jesus in education, youth ministry, women empowerment, and public speaking. Her life's message is centered around breathtaking lifelong intimacy with God, refinement of individual character and finding and fulfilling God's plan for one's life. You can find her at her personal blog: ayotola.wordpress.com

Treasure Hunt

This past week has been very challenging to say in the least- emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

It started off with news that one of my very best friends was in the hospital; my sweet and precious grandmother. When I had free time to offer, it all revolved around being with her. She was the only person I wanted to be with. I would drop anything for her.

Seeing people in pain- family especially- is so incredibly hard for me. For example, my twin brother once broke his jaw and I cried for 5 hours straight at the sight of him in pain. To put it simply, I'm an emotional person. My heart truly feels with the hearts of others. Seeing my grandmother in that hospital bed, knowing there was nothing I could do tore me apart.

But every time I visited, my beautiful grandmother put that beautiful smile on her face and did what she could to make me happy. She didn't want my time with her to be just about her. The only thing she cared about was that I was there with her, and she made sure to let me know just how much it meant to her that I was there.

On the 5th day of her stay at the hospital, I called my grandfather to double check and make sure that I could still come and visit with my grandmother for the afternoon. Surprisingly, my grandmother picked up the phone and told me she was happily pulling into the driveway and could not wait to be back in her own comfy bed.

Finally, she was home sweet home.

Seeing my grandmother smile in the midst of her pain was a treasure I'll always hold on to and carry with me. My grandmother's smile is full of so much love for her family, happiness for her life, and gratitude for her many blessings. Her smile radiates her heart and Who it belongs to. It's not just her smile that is a treasure, it's all of who she is. My grandmother is a beautiful jewel, formed in the very Hands of the One who blessed me with her sweet spirit. And for that, I am above and beyond thankful.

One of my favorite Jesus Calling devotional's for this week is about hidden treasures that God strategically places along the path of our lives. Some of these treasures are trials, others are blessings that reveal His Presence. My grandmother was faced with a huge trial for almost a week in that hospital bed, yet she offered the treasure that revealed God's presence to me in the midst of it all.  

I searched for God when my grandmother was hurting, hoping to receive a sign of His presence, and He gave me the glimpse that I was looking for through her. Someone who was suffering, yet someone who was still so happy to be where she was with the family she had.  

Things took an unexpected twist on the day my grandmother came home from the hospital. You see, I ended up in the hospital later that night.

I was feeling really light-headed during the afternoon and getting really cold wherever I went. My head was also hurting pretty bad, so I took some medicine and laid down for a bit. I woke up feeling a lot better, went out to do some ministry outreach later that evening, and had to come home early because I started to feel worse than before. I decided to go to bed, hoping that I could sleep it off. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. I started having trouble breathing and ended up having to be rushed to the ER.

My heart rate was ridiculously high, my blood pressure ridiculously low, and I had a fever of 103.3. The hospital kept me overnight and gave me 4 liters of fluid. If I wouldn't have gone in when I did, I probably would have been admitted for multiple days. I can't even remember half of the night because I was so sick, but one thing I did think of was my grandmother's smile, and I'm so very glad I held on to it.

And now, 5 days later, the roles have reversed. My grandmother is hurting because she doesn't think there is anything she can do to help me get better. After I came home from the hospital Tuesday morning, I had another viral infection hit me and I'm still sick, and unfortunately highly contagious. It could be anywhere from between now and next week that I get better. But what my grandmother doesn't know is that the sound of the smile in her voice when she calls to check on me immediately shines light on my situation and through that, I experience God's love and know that He is here.

This week has slowed me down tremendously. I always go 10 miles a minute, and now I'm going 0. With having to rest so much, I've had so much time to just sit and think, and let me tell you, I've thought about a lot- including this treasure hunt that we're all on. And oddly enough, the Designer of our treasure maps is also the Ultimate jewel of the treasure chest that we're searching for. He's also the Author of your story and the Artist of creation; you and all living things that surround you.

God is the ultimate jewel, my friends, and He is richly present in this sin-wracked world. Even when you're at darkest, those treasures are still very-well lit. Open your eyes and search for them. You will find Him if you seek Him. You will hear Him if you listen for His voice. I promise.

Search for these God-given, beautiful treasures with each new day you open your eyes to. They are everywhere. 

And hold on to what you find, you'll never know when you'll need it.

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."

-Colossians 2:2-3



About the Author :

Emily Townsend is a 20 year old southern girl who has a heart for loving Jesus, loving others, and serving the world. She is currently pursuing a career in ministry as she continues to fall madly in love with Jesus by the day. Emily is also a lover books, coffee, koalas, Pinterest, Pilates, and weddings. Her daily dose of life consists of a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus. You can also find her blogging on her personal blog The Joy of My Joy.

Serve In Order To Lead

What if you were able to move about daily without the shackles of fear, rejection, hurt, pain, or your past? What if you were free from it all? What would that feel like?

Nothing will humble you more than being of service to people who are working and walking towards their freedom. They do not know what it fully means to be free from the chains that have kept them enslaved for years and neither do we at times.

To know that God has given you the responsibility, honor, and privilege to have a hand in saving someone's life is a very powerful experience. When you sit and ponder that to the core, it will change your life. We forget that this is what we are purposed for; this is why we are here.

God does not give us leadership, power, or control to take advantage of people or manipulate them; and He does not give us gifts, talents, and abilities to mislead people either. He gave us this temple to share the spirit of His promises and blessings. Being a true leader means knowing how to serve.

Learning how to serve is a great lesson of humility. I'm thankful for the opportunity to empower others; it helps me to understand to some degree, how blessed I am. If you are reading this right now, you are blessed! You are breathing and alive and God led you to read this to encourage you.

He is calling us daily to serve and be a blessing to others. All of the pain and hurt that you have been through, survived, and are healing from can be a blessing to someone else. Even the things we are not completely cleansed from can still be a great lesson for others. It may not seem that way right now but trust me when I say that God is working and He is going to use your life and all that you have been through to help another. But the only way He can genuinely utilize your life for the benefit of others, is if you draw close to Him. You have to be in a relationship with Him.

The burdens we bear in life are too heavy to carry alone. We cannot do it by ourselves. I heard Jackie Hill Perry speak one time about fighting battles in our lives and how anyone going to war that wants to win does not go alone. You need back up. What greater back up than God?

Christ dying on the cross was so that He could bear the weight of what we are not equipped to carry in our own human frailty. We need support. Shackles do not uphold us to stand firm and strong in battle, they only keep us in bondage.

If you want to help take the chains off of another person's life, you have to know how to break them off your own. You cannot show someone the way to freedom if you have never traveled the road yourself.

I am not saying that once we accept Christ's invitation for salvation that we will not have any battles, wounds, hurts, pains or suffering. That simply is not true. What I am saying is that God's grace is available to those who abide in the Lord. Again, we all need support and that is why we have the body [people] of Christ.

Paul shares in the bible how he could boast but he chooses not to because he did not want anyone to form a higher opinion of him; beyond what was truly and genuinely evident in his life.

"If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:6-10 NLT).

When you have an opportunity to serve someone, you do not want to brag about it because you realize, in working with them, how much you are really needed; and you want to learn how much more you can be of assistance.

Doing what is necessary and essential to get the proper self-care for yourself is key in being able to help others. We must be equipped and ready to do God's work. Not only is God waiting for you but the people He has ready for you to serve are too.

About the Author :

Francine E. Ott is truly thankful to have a relationship with God and is seeking Him daily for guidance and any opportunities to walk closer with Him in truth and love. Francine is a choreographer/dancer, teacher, and soon to be counselor who has a heart to see God's transforming power, renew, restore, and heal the minds, souls, and bodies of people's lives.

Believe It And Receive It

Can I be honest with you for a minute? I kinda like getting compliments. I love to give compliments MORE but, there is not much that boosts my confidence more than when someone tells me "You look great!" or "I love that outfit!" or "Your hair is so pretty!". Admittedly though, I'm not the greatest at responding to compliments about my looks. One of the first instances I can think of is when I was about eight years old and I met my mom's boyfriend's mother for the first time and she said "She is so beautiful!" and I mumbled "Ugh. No I'm not." My mom quickly chastised me and said " You say thank you!" but I didn't want to. I didn't believe what the woman had said to me. I was at such an awkward stage in my growth, I was probably 4'10 and maybe 80 pounds sopping wet and even less coordinated than I am now (those of you who know the true goofy me are laughing I'm sure.) I couldn't see what this lady, or my mom, or anyone saw when they looked at me, and I certainly couldn't understand why they would define it as 'beauty.'

Looking back, I realize that I was just mimicking what my mother did. That's not to say that she's at fault here, but my mom didn't have the best self-esteem. This was a result of her coming late in life for her parents and growing up believing that she was a mistake. My mother is a beautiful woman by any definition, but to this day I tell her she needs to learn to take a compliment. Turns out I need to take my own advice. My husband says I fish for compliments, asking if I look okay or if he notices the different :insert makeup/hair/perfume/clothing/skin: that I've used. And when he inevitably responds with "You look great babe!" I still do the "Ugh! No I don't." Somewhere along the way, I have forgotten who made me. I didn't do it intentionally, and I never realized how much I overlooked it, but how insulting must that feel to the God who loves me and has woven me together so intricately? I say this to myself, but also to you who are reading this. HE MAKES NO MISTAKES. That nose you hate; those thin lips; the big eyes that you were picked on for when you were 12; the four head that you refer to as a seven head; the double or triple chin you swear you'd love to have sliced off; those chubby rosy cheeks; the wrinkly jawline; that big ole zit that just popped up this morning.

He knows every single part of each and every one of us because He created it. And He said it was good. Let that sink in today. I know I need to. The flesh of me wants to focus on the imperfections, but My God says there is no flaw in me. 

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

About the Author :

Emilee Lowe is a Christ following wife and mother who lives in Wilmington, North Carolina. She is a former hair stylist who is committed to being used by God in whatever way He sees fit.

Whatever It Takes

Francis Thompson was a poet in the 1800's and was famous for a piece he wrote entitled, "The Hound of Heaven".  And in this poem, he talked about how man, because he is defiant and lost, runs from God.  Or, at least thinks he can run from God. Thinking he can run and find contentment and satisfaction elsewhere. 

But, in this particular piece of poetry, man soon realizes that God, who the poet personifies as the Hound of Heaven, never once stops chasing him.  No matter where he ran or what he did.  He realizes that the 'Hound of Heaven' never gives up His pursuit.  

When it comes to you, the one He fashioned and created for Himself, you must know that God will do whatever it takes to have a relationship with you. He loves you just that much. 

There are so many who feel as if God has forgotten them. I've even heard many question His unfailing love for them because they say they can't "feel" His Presence in a tangible way.  Our relationship with God can not be based on ever-changing feelings and emotions. Our relationship with God must be based on faith. Faith in what He says about you in His word. And, one thing He promises is that He will never leave you nor forsake you. 

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJV)

This is the truth God wants you to rest in this day. The truth that He will never leave you nor forsake you. As a matter of fact, He is absolutely relentless in His pursuit of you.  

When we were utterly, helpless sinners, Christ died for us. Our friendship/relationship with God was restored through the death of His Son.  We are no longer deemed enemies of God because of His shed blood. 

You have a Father that is always willing to do whatever it takes to have a relationship with you. 

If it meant sending his only son to a world that did not receive Him. Then God was willing to do it.  You are so worth it to Him. Even if it meant sending Him to die with much suffering and shame. Then whatever it takes. He did it for you. He did, and will do, whatever it takes so that you can be with Him.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father that never stopped, nor will He ever stop, pursuing me.

Even when we become consumed with life. Consumed with ourselves. He remains consumed with us. We are inscribed or engraved on the palm of His hands. You, oh beautiful one, are always on His mind. Even in those difficult moments where the cares and busyness of life consume you. God wants us to remember that, even those moments, His pursuit has not ended.  He is right there with you.  

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. (Isaiah 43:2 NLT)

In the bible, we can read the story of Job. Job lost everything he owned. Family, house, livestock, and servants.  And, if that wasn't enough, he broke out with painful boils all over His body. Yet, after His time of severe testing, Job was able to say the following; 

I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes.  (Job 42:5 NLT). 

God wants you to see Him.  In this very moment.  In the midst of whatever you might be going through. 

Job saw God for himself in the midst of the most difficult circumstances. He was revealed to Job in a whole new way during his season of testing and trial. Ask God to open your eyes in the midst of whatever you may be facing right now, so that you can see Him.  Ask Him to powerfully reveal Himself to you.  Don't forget that He is always willing to do whatever it takes when it comes to you. He will do whatever it takes in order to reveal and draw you to Himself.

Prayer:  Father, open the eyes of my heart so that I can see you clearly in the midst of my circumstances. Allow me to experience you in a fresh, new way.  Help me to be mindful that you are always present and your love for me is unending.

About the Author :

Pastor Pamela Bell is a passionate, lover of God, who desires to see God's people walk in the knowledge of who they are in Christ. She resides in Mobile, AL and serves as an Elder at her church, Gulf Coast Christian Center. Pastor Pamela enjoys reading, spending time with friends and all things chocolate.