Dealing With Difficult People

Have you ever encountered a person who rubbed you the wrong way? You’ve tried your best to be kind to them but still there is seemingly no progress, their attitudes remain rude, argumentative, and condescending. This person could be your boss, neighbor, or even your family member. You’ve wrecked your brain trying to come up with scenarios to make interactions with this person even slightly agreeable and you’ve come up short. What can we do as Christians to deal with these types of people in our lives?

The first thing we should do is refer to our life manual-the Bible. As people we sometimes skip referring to our Bibles for advice, thinking that an issue we are dealing with is modern and couldn’t possibly be mentioned there. Instead, we must get into the habit of going there first because it eliminates our dependence on ourselves, or others for advice. We should seek out the word of God to lead us in every area of our lives because doing so places our reliance on God’s advice. Don’t get me wrong, the people we love can most times offer us pretty sound advice based on their life experiences which is helpful. However, seeking our answers first from God’s word allows God to speak to us specifically. God knows us personally and is with us every step of our lives, and thus can offer the best advice and wisdom for our lives.

The Bible teaches us to love whenever we encounter criticism. Proverbs 15:1 says, “...a gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” When you encounter people who remain disgruntled no matter your inviting attitude, you must remain steadfast in the word of Christ and resist the urge to indulge in any sort of tit-for-tat behavior. 2 Timothy 2:23-24 states, “Ignorant arguments only start fights. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.”  When I read God's word on this issue, I was taken aback and I realized how the proper way to handle this issue was certainly not my natural reaction. Naturally, we want to be right and prove our points and extinguish the agitator. This is not what God calls us to do. Although this is not easy, it is extremely necessary for our spiritual growth.

Many times in our lives, we are told to “Tell someone off” because, after all, “Who do they think they are?!" I admit, in the past I would have been the first person to start yelling, being rude, and evening up the score. But in order to follow Christ we have to die to ourselves, our old way of thinking, and our old ways of handling our problems. God calls us to patience, empathy, and love. It’s hard to love those who are not kind to us and embrace us. Yet, that is what we are called to do as Christians. In order to combat these strong personalities, we need to be grounded in God’s word in order to emerge unscathed spiritually.

Here are some tips to remain in accordance with God’s word in these situations:

1. Keep a quiet time with God daily. In keeping a quiet prayer time with God daily, we welcome His instruction into our lives.
2. Review as many scriptures as you can find on dealing with difficult people. Keep them on hand or commit them to memory so that you can use them when you need them.
3. Pray for the person who is causing you the pain.
4. Avoid engaging this person in any combative conversation. Instead, remove yourself if possible and if you cannot, simply tell them that you are not willing to have the discussion at the present time because you feel that it is not a good time.
5. Keep an even tone, keep eye contact, and resist the urge to have your own anger outburst.
6. Ask God to give you strength.

About the Author :

Cortnee is a 26 year old TV Host, for her television show, City Savvy based in Philadelphia. She enjoys going to the beach, cooking, shopping, traveling, and visiting with her family that lives out-of state. Cortnee is best described as bubbly and outgoing. She works by day as a substitute teacher. Jesus is her best friend who provides for and protects her.

The Great Commission of a Mother and Wife

Let's face it, being a wife and a mom isn’t always the most glamorous of jobs. In fact, when you’re walking around with spit up on your clothes, pulling sippy cups out your purse, wearing the same yoga pants three days in a row and underwear sniffing before throwing in another load you soon begin to realize your life truly is not your own.

The God Who is Able

The beginning of a new year typically causes most people to feel hopeful. Everyone is so excited about new opportunities and the fresh start a new year brings. But for many, the end of a year can evoke a different set of emotions. As they look back over the year and ponder over things undone, and unaccomplished, it can cause feelings of hopelessness.  

As we have entered into the last quarter of this year, those of you who may have had some unexpected disappointments or disappointments because the expected was not realized, please stay focused on the God who is able. 

His ability does not end when the calendar year winds down. Your year is not over yet. He's still able. His plans for you have not changed. Don't forget who He is. You have to see Him as able. 

He's the God for whom nothing is impossible. For with God nothing will be impossible,” (‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭37‬ NKJV).

He is able to perform and carry out everything He promised in your life. He is not limited to a 365 day time frame. 

We sing a song at my church called. "He's Able". It's a good song with a powerful message that reminds us of the ability and power of our God. 

When we really grasp the truth of the fact that He's able, it will absolutely change our perspective of our circumstances. The fact that God is able must become more than just a song to us. Able defines who our God is.

The three Hebrew boys, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, stood on this truth. They refused to bow down and worship the idol King Nebuchadnezzar erected. So, as a result, they were ordered to appear before the king. And as they stood before the king, he gave them another opportunity to bow down and worship his idol. And, if they chose not to, they would be immediately thrown into a fiery furnace. 

The young men had a response for the king's threats. I'm sure it was not what he was expecting. 

"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up,” (‭Daniel‬ ‭3‬:‭17-18‬ NLT).

The truth that their God was able to deliver empowered them to stand in faith. Their failure to bow down and worship the idol caused them to be thrown in the furnace. But, because they trusted in the God who is able to deliver, they were not put to shame. (Read the rest in Daniel 3.) God never lets those who put their trust in Him be put to shame. Look at the following scriptures. 

"No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause,"

(‭Psalm‬ ‭25‬:‭3‬ NIV).

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame," (‭Psalm‬ ‭34‬:‭5‬ NIV).

My sister, God will fulfill every promise and perform every word in your life. He will show Himself as the God who is able on your behalf. You will not be put to shame. Hold on to this truth. 

Trust in His ability. Trust His timing. He never disappoints. Maybe you were hoping to see something  He promised you manifest in your life this year. But, as of yet, it has not. God does not adhere to our calendars and clocks. It's going to happen at God's appointed time. Believe it. Don't throw in the towel and allow feelings of disappointment to overwhelm you. Continue to prepare and make room for the promises you are expecting. 

Let your life of faith in this hour say to God, "Lord, I believe!"

About the Author :

Pastor Pamela Bell is a passionate, lover of God, who desires to see God's people walk in the knowledge of who they are in Christ. She resides in Mobile, AL and serves as an Elder at her church, Gulf Coast Christian Center. Pastor Pamela enjoys reading, spending time with friends and all things chocolate.

Extending Grace and Mercy to Our Children

“God, please make my mommy nice. I’m sorry I mess everything up and I don’t listen. I don’t know why I always do this. Please God, make my mommy nicer to me, and make her a better mommy. I’m sorry.”

Gut-wrenching truth. This prayer nearly drowned out by sobs and the heaving breath of my four year old daughter as she lay crumpled in a corner of her room, crying out to her Heavenly Father when her earthly mother’s harsh words wounded her heart.

To be honest with you, I don’t even remember what set me off that day. It could have been having to repeat myself and ask my 3 and 4 year old for the hundredth time to not chase each other through the house. Maybe it was the infamous missing right shoe for the millionth time, while we were already late for work and school in the morning. I don’t even remember the words I spoke to her, it doesn’t matter. It wasn’t the words I spoke, but the manner in which I spoke them to my family.

I was living in a constant and desperate state of being overwhelmed.  I was sinking and I didn’t want to let anyone know it. I’d succumbed to the idea that as a working mom I had to be able to do it all. Balancing every forty plus hour work week with finishing my degree, to every church commitment, supporting my husband in his ministry, to working out and preparing healthy and delicious home cooked meals, to keeping my house spotless, all the while caring for a three and four year old.

Drowning. I couldn’t let anyone know, I wouldn’t ask for help, not even God. So I took these unrealistic burdens upon myself. And I failed. If you notice the above to do list, nowhere on it does it prioritize time in God’s word, in his presence, meditating and resting in Him. Enter my very short fuse with my children and my harsh response to being normal kids.

It’s so much easier for us to fall apart behind closed doors and to leave a path of destruction for those closest to us. Maybe you can relate? Maybe you’ve been there and under the pressure to keep up appearances you unleash your wrath on your family. Maybe it isn’t your kids, maybe it’s your spouse.  

In that moment of revelation, that moment of hearing the aching heart of my daughter and her most heartfelt prayer, I heard God speaking to me. Have I not given both Grace and Mercy to you Annette? When you stray, when you falter, when you disappoint, and disobey?  Utter shame filled my heart.  In that moment I repented. I fell to my knees and prayed with my daughter, I asked her forgiveness.  I asked forgiveness from my Heavenly Father and asked His hand to be present in every word spoken to my children. That I would use words that would uplift and edify and that His spirit renew and refresh my heart and mind when I felt weary. That I would rely in His spirit and direction when speaking to my family.  That I would reflect His grace and mercy in my life, in all areas, not just outside of the walls of my home.

So how can we practically extend grace to those around us?

•             Speak words that build up, not tear down

•             Forgive

•             Apologize

•             Show kindness

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” – Ephesians 4:29

I mediate on this verse constantly. I have it hanging on my refrigerator as a daily reminder. The kitchen seems to be one of the places I want to lose my cool more than any other area in the house, oddly enough.

Friends, when life gets overwhelming and our “to do’s” seem to go on forever, we must always remember that God’s spirit dwells within us.  These moments are opportunities not only to extend grace and mercy, but to teach it to our children.  So let’s love our children well.

There is freedom in grace. Be free.

About the Author :

Annette Ceniceros is married to an impossibly handsome man named Daniel. She is blessed to have two children, one boy and one girl. She is the founder of Hope Yoga, a Christian yoga practice anchored in Jesus.

Drawing Near

How close are you and God right now? What is your relationship like? Are you on fire and feel closer to the Lord than you ever have before? Or, are you already cringing as you read this because, well, you’ve been struggling in your relationship with God? 

If you’re not as close with God as you would like and know you should be don’t stop reading this. I understand because I was there recently. And I have no doubt hundreds, if not thousands of other Christians have been where you are and are currently experiencing the same thing.

I’ve noticed a pattern in my own personal walk with God. When I am close with the Lord I am eager to grow and be challenged spiritually. I want every part of my heart exposed for the Lord to fix. I want Him to mold me despite how painful it may be. But when I am distant from the Lord, I am hesitant to read spiritual growth books and devotional books. I am scared for God to see every nook and cranny of my heart even though I already know He does see it.

When you are distant from Jesus it doesn’t just affect you. It also affects those around you. When you are not immersing yourself in Jesus, you are immersing yourself in the world. The world has plenty of self-absorbed unloving and non- compassionate women. What the world needs are women who are tenderhearted, compassionate, Christ-focused, and who put others before themselves. That is what happens when you bathe yourself in the presence of Almighty God; you become more like Him and less like the world. 

Is there something between you and the Lord? 1 John 1:9 says,

 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

 We serve a merciful God. The Psalms shout God’s mercy from its pages. Psalm 103: 8-11 says, 

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.” 

Ladies, you are loved by the Creator of the stars. The Lord does not want anything to stand between you two– not even your sin. That is why His son, Jesus, paid the penalty for all of your sins (past and present) and died an excruciating death on a cross. If you were the only human alive, Jesus would still have died for you. That is how much God desires a relationship with you. 

What is keeping you from running into your Abba’s arms? James 4:8 says, 

“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts you double-minded.” 

If you draw near to God He will draw near to you. The Lord wants to shower you with love and blessings. He cannot do this if you keep pushing Him away.

If you need to renew your relationship with the Lord, do so before you pillow your head tonight. Go before the throne of your Father and pour your heart out to Him. Every moment your relationship with God is broken is another moment of victory for Satan. Satan will fight to keep you from drawing near to God. He will whisper excuses to you. He will tell you that you are too far away from God. He will throw every distraction in your way just to make sure you don’t spend time with the Lord. Don’t listen to Satan’s lies. Listen to God’s truths – He loves you, forgives you, and wants a relationship with you.

It’s a new day with new mercies. Don’t let another day go by that could be a day spent at your Savior’s feet in sweet communion. 

About the Author :

Leah Hill is an Army wife and Graphic Designer. Her desire is to share with others what the Lord has been teaching her, whether through writing or building relationships. Leah thoroughly enjoys writing letters, knitting, staying active, and cherishing every moment with her wonderful husband.

What Are You Fixated On?

Let’s start out by defining the word, “fixation.”  

Fixation: An obsessive interest in or feeling about someone or something.  The action of making something firm or stable.  A fixation occurs when an issue or conflict remains unresolved, leaving the individual focused on this stage and unable to move onto the next. 

The latter definition really hits home for me and I believe for many others as well.  We tend to fixate on things that are seemingly unresolved and we stay stuck and stagnant in that particular stage because of our inability to fix our gaze elsewhere.  The bottom line is, the change all starts from within ourselves and where we fix our eyes, mind and heart.

I recently came across a Ted talk by author Robert Greene that asked this question: “Why do we fixate on the things we can see immediately when we crave change?”  

 “We humans tend to fixate on what we can see with our eyes, it is the most animal part of our nature.  When we look at the changes and transformations in other people’s lives we see the good luck that someone had in meeting the right person with the right connections and funding, we see the book or the project that brings the money and the attention.  In other words we see the visible signs of opportunity and success and we want that change in our own lives but we are grasping at an illusion.  What really allows for such dramatic changes are the things that occur on the inside of a person and are completely invisible, the slow accumulation of knowledge and skills, the small incremental improvements in work habits and the ability to withstand criticism.  Any change in people’s fortune is merely the visible manifestation of all of that deep preparation over time.  By essentially ignoring this internal aspect we fail to change anything fundamental within ourselves and so in a few years’ time we reach our limits yet again, we grow frustrated, we crave change, we gravitate at something quick and superficial and we remain prisoners forever of these recurring patterns in our lives.  The answer, the key to the ability to transform ourselves is actually insanely simple, to reverse this perspective   Stop fixating on what other people are saying and doing; on the money, the connections, the outward appearance of things.  Instead, look inward. Focus on the smaller internal changes that lay the groundwork for a much larger change in fortune. It is the difference between grasping at an illusion and immersing yourself in reality and reality is what will liberate and transform you.” –Robert Greene

It left me thinking about what we fix our eyes on daily and how often times if it’s not on the right things we are left discouraged, frustrated and weary.

We tend to fixate on:

-Ourselves

-Our wills

-Our circumstances

-Other people

-Our fears

-Our failures

-Our wants and desires

-On the “whys”

-On the “what ifs”

-The regrets

-The money or lack of money

-Being seen or appreciated

Where should we be fixing our eyes?

The Bible is very clear on where we should fix our eyes.

*On what is unseen.  Not grasping at an illusion.  We should be looking with spiritual eyes.  

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal,” (2 Corinthians 4:18).

*On Jesus.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God,” (Hebrews 12:2).

*On what is in front of you. 

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you,” (Proverbs 4:25-27).

 How do you fix your eyes on Jesus?

*Pray.  Pray for spiritual eyes and direction.  Pray for spiritual checks and discernment when you are fixating on the wrong things.  

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye,” (Psalm 32:8).

*Stay in the word.  In order to remain clear on where your eyes, heart and mind should be you need to dig into the ultimate instruction manual; the Bible.  It also goes hand and hand with praying as it teaches and guides you to what you should be praying about as well as how to pray.  

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work,” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).                                                                      

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path,” (Psalm 119:105).

*Praise and Worship.  Praise and worship automatically re-focuses on Jesus.  It instantly changes your perspective, attitude and heart. Throw on the worship music and dance and sing.                                                                                                                                                                

“Oh sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth! Sing to the Lord, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols, but the Lord made the heavens,” (Psalm 96:1-9).

Remember that when your eyes become fixated on The Lord, everything else seems to become less important and less stressful.

About the Author :

Leilani is a single mom to a beautiful 4 year old little girl. She is in love with the Creator of the stars. Her mission is simple yet so big, to encourage and bring Jesus to all in need. To bring hope by loving people, writing, photography, music, poetry/spoken word and meeting people right where they are. Gods Grace is her air.