Guest post by Lauren DeMoss
This has been a question that has been asked to me very often especially lately so I thought I would wear my heart on my sleeve here and address it so that everyone will know…. and maybe be reminded, learn, or be encouraged.
Q: How do you handle being single so well?
There is no magical formula for making it easy “to be single,” and anyone who says that it is easy, is lying to you. God wants us to be content with all that He has given us, yes, however, God does not require us to achieve some super spiritual state of mind that is “content” with being single in order for Him to give us a significant other. For some people, that may very well happen, but for the vast majority, it is just not going to. If we are seeking Him, God has given us a desire for each other and a desire to be married. God has placed those desires in everyone so that a man will GO out and pursue a woman, and make her his wife, and a girl will be happily pursued. It is completely normal to want to be married. Marriage is a system that God set up and ordained. God wants us to be married, and raise good families for His glory.
For His glory.
Yup. I think that’s the key, people. You see, I have come to the realization that if I could serve God better and bring Him more glory married, then, I would be married right now at this very moment. So even though sometimes I don’t like to admit it, God knows better than I do. I could try to convince Him otherwise all I want, but He knows the perfect timing for everything in our lives. If we are living to serve Him, then He will take care of it! Right now, you have a job to do. A job that could not be done if you were married. A job that will bring God the MOST glory if you do it now, while you are single.
Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it!
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:25-33
Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. {Click here to read more} He is enough, anyways. No one will truly complete you except Him.
“Jesus Christ – not guys [or girls]– must always remain the center of our existence. When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guys[or girls] no longer dominate our thinking, our actions, and our decisions. Rather, the Lover of our soul captivates us so completely that every guy we meet clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number one Prince of our heart. A truly godly man longs for a woman with a Christ-consumed heart.” -Leslie Ludy
I’d love to tell you that I am a spiritual giant who never struggles with loneliness or never looks up and says, “God, whatcha doin’??” Because, unfortunately, it’s not true, but the answer is simple.
Not easy, but simple.
Trust God.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Do you believe that? Then tell yourself this everyday. We may know what looks “good” for us, but God knows what is BEST. The reason we are not supposed to lean on our own understanding is that we don’t really know what we are doing. However, HIS way is perfect.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalm 18:30-32
He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. Psalm 145:19
Delight yourself also in the LORD; and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
No one is bigger or better than God. Period. Claim His promises. Find them! There are SO many! Our times are in His hands. He knows the beginning from the end. We know his timing is perfect.
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop looking. Do stop stressing. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are running out of time. Because when God, who is the very Author of time, deems it right for you to fall in love and be married, then you will, and it will be magnificent.
Lastly, don’t settle. I will be single forever before I settle for someone who will not raise my family in all the standards of my God. Go to the Bible and find out all the qualities a man and woman of God is supposed to have. Be those things, and then, look for those things in others. Pray for God to direct your steps in everything, and He will fulfill the desires He has placed in you. If you long for a spouse with a Christ-centered heart, that desire is straight from God, and He has promised to fulfill it.
I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. Ecclesiastes 3:14
Stop worrying so much. Take heart, God knows what He is doing. He has a plan, and now is a part of that plan too. Don’t waste your time wishing things were different. Don’t settle for less than God’s best. Trust His timing. He is so so much bigger than you and your dreams, and His words are true. Don’t stop believing them. It will be worth it.
[photo source]
Q: How do you handle being single so well?
There is no magical formula for making it easy “to be single,” and anyone who says that it is easy, is lying to you. God wants us to be content with all that He has given us, yes, however, God does not require us to achieve some super spiritual state of mind that is “content” with being single in order for Him to give us a significant other. For some people, that may very well happen, but for the vast majority, it is just not going to. If we are seeking Him, God has given us a desire for each other and a desire to be married. God has placed those desires in everyone so that a man will GO out and pursue a woman, and make her his wife, and a girl will be happily pursued. It is completely normal to want to be married. Marriage is a system that God set up and ordained. God wants us to be married, and raise good families for His glory.
For His glory.
Yup. I think that’s the key, people. You see, I have come to the realization that if I could serve God better and bring Him more glory married, then, I would be married right now at this very moment. So even though sometimes I don’t like to admit it, God knows better than I do. I could try to convince Him otherwise all I want, but He knows the perfect timing for everything in our lives. If we are living to serve Him, then He will take care of it! Right now, you have a job to do. A job that could not be done if you were married. A job that will bring God the MOST glory if you do it now, while you are single.
Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it!
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:25-33
Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. {Click here to read more} He is enough, anyways. No one will truly complete you except Him.
“Jesus Christ – not guys [or girls]– must always remain the center of our existence. When we have a Christ-consumed heart, guys[or girls] no longer dominate our thinking, our actions, and our decisions. Rather, the Lover of our soul captivates us so completely that every guy we meet clearly sees that Jesus is, and always will be, the number one Prince of our heart. A truly godly man longs for a woman with a Christ-consumed heart.” -Leslie Ludy
I’d love to tell you that I am a spiritual giant who never struggles with loneliness or never looks up and says, “God, whatcha doin’??” Because, unfortunately, it’s not true, but the answer is simple.
Not easy, but simple.
Trust God.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Do you believe that? Then tell yourself this everyday. We may know what looks “good” for us, but God knows what is BEST. The reason we are not supposed to lean on our own understanding is that we don’t really know what we are doing. However, HIS way is perfect.
As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the LORD? or who is a rock save our God? It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Psalm 18:30-32
He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. Psalm 145:19
Delight yourself also in the LORD; and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
No one is bigger or better than God. Period. Claim His promises. Find them! There are SO many! Our times are in His hands. He knows the beginning from the end. We know his timing is perfect.
He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Don’t stop believing. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop looking. Do stop stressing. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are running out of time. Because when God, who is the very Author of time, deems it right for you to fall in love and be married, then you will, and it will be magnificent.
Lastly, don’t settle. I will be single forever before I settle for someone who will not raise my family in all the standards of my God. Go to the Bible and find out all the qualities a man and woman of God is supposed to have. Be those things, and then, look for those things in others. Pray for God to direct your steps in everything, and He will fulfill the desires He has placed in you. If you long for a spouse with a Christ-centered heart, that desire is straight from God, and He has promised to fulfill it.
I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him. Ecclesiastes 3:14
Stop worrying so much. Take heart, God knows what He is doing. He has a plan, and now is a part of that plan too. Don’t waste your time wishing things were different. Don’t settle for less than God’s best. Trust His timing. He is so so much bigger than you and your dreams, and His words are true. Don’t stop believing them. It will be worth it.
[photo source]
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Special thanks to Lauren, for sharing this post with our readers. This post was originally published on her site, TheFulltimeGirl.Com. We know our readers will be blessed by it. You can now read the full article here or there.
Lauren DeMoss is a 26 year old teacher at a Christian school in New England. Having grown up in a christian home, she knows the struggles of christian girls and the pull of the world on their hearts. By God’s grace, she also knows the peace and love of a life given completely to Jesus Christ. Through her writing, she desires to point people to Jesus, encourage, and inspire her generation and the next to be fully abandoned to their Savior. It is really all about Him. Check out her site at TheFulltimeGirl.Com.