Being Single is Not a Failure

"Being single is a gift."

"You still have time."

"God's timing is everything."

These are very familiar phrases that many, if not all of us single ladies have heard at one time (or a hundred) in our lives. And if I am being honest here, I get tired of hearing things like this.

I know that being single is a gift, I have plenty of time, and God's timing is everything, but my heart also knows that it has a desire to one day share a fruit-bearing marriage with a man who knows and unashamedly lives for his Creator. 

One thing I have learned over the last few months is that it is okay to be content in your singleness and still have worries and doubts about whether or not you will ever have a future with someone. The battle I had to learn to win before coming to this realization, however, was one against the anxieties rooted in my doubts of the future versus my trust in the Lord and His awareness of my desires. As a victor of the fight, here is what I walked away with:

No matter how down you may feel at times about finding a significant other, do not let your anxieties trump over your confidence and trust in God.

The very gift of singleness is the freedom it offers to pursue the most meaningful relationship we could ever have; a relationship with our Heavenly Father. It is through our connection with God that we learn who we are, discover what our purpose is, realize what true life looks like, receive confidence in ourselves, and feel truly loved. God has so much to offer us, more than any human being ever could.

If I could offer each and every one of you a piece of advice regarding your singleness, it would be the piece of advice I give myself everyday:

Do not be the woman who believes that by lounging around in patience, you will be rewarded with the real life version of the Prince Charming you have always dreamed of. Sitting around and doing nothing is not the solution or the call.

Instead, be the woman of God that you are called to be. Rise up, and shine the light of your undivided attention on not only thriving in your relationship with the Lord, but also on performing work in the Kingdom as well.

You do not need a man of God in order to live a Kingdom devoted life. You are a woman of God who is called and equipped by God and God alone.

Men of God are attracted to women of God who reflect the very life that all of God's children, male and female, are called to live. If you desire to have a marriage with God as the focal point of its existence, you must also live a life that reflects your relationship with the Lord and walk in the confidence of who you are beforehand.

Do not get me wrong here. I am not saying the only reason you should live for God is so that you can find a future spouse. What I am saying is that you are not called to sit on the couch, eat endless amounts of ice cream, and sob as you watch romantic Netflix movies days on end.

Your life is not to be used as a pity party. Your life is to be celebrated as a God-given honor and gift.

God created you with purpose, and you do not need someone to complete you in order to fulfill your purpose. As women of God who may desire to do life with men of God, the most attractive quality on either end is living a life that reflects your passion and devotedness to Who you belong to.

Do not let your fears bring you down or hold you back from living out the purpose God has placed within you. Your singleness does not represent failure. You have an important role in God's story, with or without a significant other. And you are also complete in God, whether married or not (Colossians 2:10).  Focus on why you are here and pray for someone to join you on the journey all while doing so.

From now on, whenever someone tries to comfort you with a cliché phrase about the single life, receive his or her words with an open heart. Because being single is a gift, you do still have time, and God's timing is everything.

Here are some truth-filled verses to encourage you today:

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14 ESV)

So, whether you eat or drink, or, whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV)

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

...let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10:22 ESV)

...I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. (Jeremiah 31:3 ESV)

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:14 ESV)

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. (Proverbs 31:25 ESV)

...and you have been filled in Him, who is the head of all rule and authority. (Colossians 2:10 ESV)

Emily Lauren Townsend is a 21 year old southern girl who has a heart for loving Jesus, loving others, and serving the world. She is currently pursuing a career in ministry as she continues to fall madly in love with Jesus by the day. Emily Lauren has a heart for worship and women's ministry. Her daily dose of life consists of a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus.