It seems as though any time I think I'm making progress or growing in my life, the enemy comes in and diverts my attention. A few weeks ago it was an attack on my parenting. This week it's an assault on my appearance, weight and everything else that comes along with that. We all have things we would like to change about our physical appearance and I am usually a pretty confident woman, but this week the thoughts would not stop. All of a sudden looking in the mirror was like looking at Quasimodo. My mind started playing tricks on me, I felt like I had doubled in size [overnight] and every clothing item I own looks horrible on. This wasn't a problem a week ago, so what's up?
So what do I (and I'm sure many others) always do? Try to fix it, on my own and fix it quickly. I've hard-wired myself to be that way since as far back as I can remember. So I scour Pinterest, hoping to find some immediate weight loss motivation and/or cure. I covet all the toned, tanned and seemingly "perfect" women I see in all these "motivational" pictures only to end up in a worse mindset than I began.
Then the thoughts start rolling in like thunder you can hear miles away- far but loud.
"If you were skinnier or prettier you'd have a husband or at least a prospect."
"What happened to you, you used to be so much prettier."
"Do yourself a favor and stop eating."
Finally, I push the brakes on it as hard as I can, "STOP! No, no, no!"
I grab my journal and begin to write. This was what I wrote:
"I sit here trying to fix what is broken; fix whatever only you can fix. I pull hard on the reigns in my life and heart which only leads to a sore and hopeless soul. It keeps me outside your peace and it leads to moments of distrust and a wavering faith.
Why is it so hard to forget?
Why is it so difficult to give you the reigns and not ask for them back?
My focus has turned to those things that are meaningless and fleeting. I distract myself with TV, the internet, food and sleep. I begin to weep when I see that life is passing me by, yet feel stuck on the couch trying to drown out my sorrow and lack of living. I strive to be great yet at times I get stuck in an unsuccessful mindset. Lord, I grieve. Lord, please come fill me and help me understand that you have not forgotten or overlooked me."
What do I do now?
God brought back something that a friend and I were doing for a while. Whenever we were struggling with assaults from the enemy and were left feeling helpless and defeated, we would do something that day that would tick off the enemy. When we do this it switches our minds and hearts into high gear and allows us to fight back.
Example: You are feeling like you look frumpy, so get up and do something fun to get moving. Start bumping some good music that makes you want to dance and just dance it out (even better is some good worship music, that's a double whammy to the enemy). Get up and get off the couch. Go out in public even if the enemy is telling you that you look horrible (that will stick it to the enemy!).
We are all anointed to fight the enemy.
“Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” (Luke 10:19)
“Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle – my loving kindness and my fortress, my high tower and my deliverer, my shield and the One in whom I take refuge, who subdues my people under me.” (Psalm 144:1)
My challenge to each of you is to wake up everyday with the intent to glorify God and gain ground back from the enemy.
"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning, the devil says, “oh no, she’s up!”
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