Recently, I have had some past, family issues resurface. I feel very vulnerable sharing, but transparency is necessary in our walks with God, for healing and to help others who struggle with similar situations.
I was not raised by my biological mother; she left before I was two years old. I was left with a father who was addicted to drugs, and as a result, had an explosive temper.
My biological mother and I have talked a handful of times in my life, but I chose to cut off contact with her after my daughter was born. The reasons for my decision were numerous, but the bottom line was not malicious. It was for the sake of my daughter.
The backlash for my decision was displayed publicly on social media after she had tracked me down.
It has been five years now and out of the blue, my biological mother found me again on social media.
I was a deer in headlights thinking to myself, ‘How do I respond to this? Do I respond to this? She is being nice, but is it real or a manipulation?’ So I took it straight to God.
She said needed to talk to me about my half-brother who I had not talked to in years, so I gave her my email address. He was incarcerated and he wanted to talk to me.
My mind and heart felt like they had been struck by a hurricane until God’s peace came upon me and reminded me with a gentle whisper that I cannot allow things or people from my past take the throne where Christ should be sitting.
“These thoughts, wounds, and emotional oddities are self-exalting. They establish themselves as god in your life. They endeavor to control or manipulate you. These progeny of lesser days want to crown themselves as indications of your destiny. As long as these other things reign in your life, Christ’s seat is taken because these thoughts and feelings of the past are sitting on the throne. If they are on the throne then Christ is on the cross. Put Christ on the throne and your past on the cross.”-T.D. Jakes
Stumbling Blocks and Strongholds
The biggest stumbling block I have faced in my walk with Christ has been my past: accepting it, letting it go and separating from it, and healing from it.
More times than I care to admit, my past has become an idol in my life, and the pain or loss has been improperly placed where Christ should be.
Our pasts can be the strongest bondage we will face, and we will all have to face it to be set free from its grasp.
We make an idol of our past by stressing over and reliving something we cannot change or reverse. We may be idolizing our pasts because of the deep pain it left in our lives or because we are stuck wishing we could go back, instead of focusing on the now. The should-have’s, could-have’s, and would-have’s will haunt our memories and leave us lame and crippled. They infect our present and they threaten to contaminate our future.
Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. (Isaiah 43:18 MSG)
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV)
Philippians 3:13-14 tells us to forget the things if the past and strain towards what is ahead, pressing towards the goal God has called us to. It does not tell us it will be easy; rather it illustrates a challenge and a struggle.
Three Ways to Keep Moving Forward
In my own witness, I cease to make progress when my past comes out of the woodwork, like an unwanted house-guest. Everything inside of me goes haywire, stopping me in my tracks and redirect my focus away from God.
Here are three things I’ve developed to help me keep myself moving forward, pressing on to what God has called me to, even midst the struggle:
1. Understand where it comes from and what is tying you to your past.
Neither denying your past, nor thinking about it constantly will help. We need to acknowledge it, face it head-on, grieve the loss, give it to God, and then move on. Remove it from the pedestal we have placed it upon and put Christ back on the throne.
2. Profess and declare the promises daily over your life and over those you love.
To many this may sound silly, but believe me, it is absolutely necessary.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21 NIV)
3. Refuse to be sidetracked by the cares of this world.
It is easy to do, and if we are not careful, we can become completely ensnared by the petty troubles of this world. In Matthew 6:33, the key is to ‘seek first His kingdom and His righteousness’ (NIV). The enemy will try to confuse us and make us lose our focus when he sees that we are making strides toward the Kingdom of God. Be aware of this tactic; refuse to let it deter you.
So, keep running for His Kingdom, and dethrone the idols exalted in your life. Remember that we already know the way this story ends, and it ends in Jesus’ victory
About the Author :
Leilani is a single mom to a beautiful 4 year old little girl. She is in love with the Creator of the stars. Her mission is simple yet so big, to encourage and bring Jesus to all in need. To bring hope by loving people, writing, photography, music, poetry/spoken word and meeting people right where they are. God's Grace is her air.
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