Own Your Beauty

I’m not a size zero nor have I ever been.

My hair is natural with big fluffy curls.

Two typical standards of beauty that I have not met.

This past week I was walking through the mall with my mother when a very eager salesman was convinced that he could revolutionize my life by selling me the holy grail – a flatiron.

Why don’t you straighten your hair?

You actually like it like that?

But why?

I have to admit, it was a semi humid day (yes, very surprising since I live in New York and it’s February) so my hair was a super big fro. So it didn’t help my case when I proudly responded that I like my hair just the way it is. He was confused and disgusted. His face said it all.

How sad we live in a world where beauty has been defined for us.

The sensitive girl that I am, that incident could have left me marred and embarrassed.

But God has been teaching me to own my beauty, and that day I did just that.

I’m not some fascist who hates flatirons and people who don’t wear their hair naturally. I do own a flatiron and may use it from time to time when I desire to go for a different look. For years I would get a relaxer, so my sisters in Christ who do perm your hair or wear it straight, I love you and you should keep perming it if that’s your conviction.

My point is that it can be tempting to measure our appearance against the world’s standards. I mean a one-digit dress size and straight, long and silky hair is the epitome of beauty, right?

Absolutely not.

Straight hair, curly hair, plus size, size zero, dark skin, light skin – we are all beautiful because we bear the image of our Creator. If we are not careful to ferociously guard our hearts, we can be yoked to a bondage of slavery. Slaves that believe the lie that we are anything less than fearfully and wonderfully made.

God needs you to be free from the lies you believe about yourself that you are not beautiful. He needs you to believe that He created you to look exactly the way He designed you for His glory. He needs you to be free from people.

He wants you to own your beauty.

Yes, God looks at our hearts and not the outward appearance, and of course internal beauty trumps physical beauty every time. However, I believe God made physical beauty for a reason. Queen Esther was beautiful. God used her beauty to save a nation.

“Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen…” (Esther 2:17 NIV)

It is not a sin to know and walk with confidence in the beauty God has given you. It’s a sin to make it an idol.

You can only own your beauty when you know that you are beautiful – and I’m definitely not talking about how the world defines beauty.

Owning your beauty means learning to be comfortable in your own skin.

You are beauty and beauty is you.

Your hair texture, shape, skin tone, eye color - absolutely everything about you, was all on purpose.

Down to the very last detail. No mistakes.

You look the way you do for a reason, for a specific purpose.

Perhaps to save a nation.

Ladies, do not despise the way God created you to look. If He wanted you to have a certain physical trait, He would have designed you differently. He is the Potter and we are the clay. With great care He fashioned you.

Own the beauty God has given you.

It will put a smile on your face and bring joy to your heart.

"What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its Maker? Does the clay dispute with the One who shapes it, saying, 'Stop, you're doing it wrong!' Does the pot exclaim, 'How clumsy can You be?'

(Isaiah 49:5 NLT)

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb”

(Psalm 139:13 NIV)

About the Author :

Endya Joy is a young woman on the journey to becoming a future physician. With a passion for ministering to girls and young women, she desires to be a vessel in which God uses to heal the whole person. She is a girly girl, has a slight obsession with books, and dreams of traveling the world one day. God and family are everything.

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Am I a Victim?

If you’ve ever been a victim of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, I know how you feel.

At one point or another, I was in shoes probably not much different from your own, and for a long time, I’ve carried around scars – signs of my pain and abuse – that serve to label me a victim.

I suffered from things like trust issues, paranoia, insecurity, rage, and violence; and any one of these things or more could surface at any point, with any person and sweep through a relationship like a wrecking ball.

I used to think of it like this: when you strike a puppy with a newspaper continually, eventually the dog will flinch whenever a newspaper is lifted nearby. It didn’t matter if the guy I was dating ever glanced at another woman, I still watched and constantly suspected for him to look. I was suspicious and, when I did find reasons to be upset, I didn’t just get mad. I blew the whole thing up. My emotions and my fear totally controlled me.

That was at least until Christ came in. I was saved at the age of 22 and I can honestly say I believe I am a recipient of a miracle healing (written about on my personal blog at http://samfindsfaith.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/god-really-loves-me/). The Lord is constantly working in me with each new depth of learning His heart and His plan. The abuse itself is not something I think about a whole lot just because I don’t need to. The events that came later in my life have been what I’ve struggle most to let go of, and whether you can blame my later actions on my abuse as a child is neither here nor there. I don’t really care much anymore.

About this time last year, I was going through some things where some of these behaviors were resurfacing. I’d just started dating my now-fiancé and, even though he was so good to me - loyal, loving, sweet, and reassuring, the whole deal – I was growing suspicious of him. I noticed a few of my defensive walls rebuilding and I knew something was up.

One morning, I laid in bed a while and I was just kind of rambling on to God about everything I hadn’t thought of in a while – the details – and just how my life before Christ kind of played out; and telling Him, too, that lately, I’ve been picking up some of my old paranoid and fearful habits. As this went on, I started to rationalize that I was a hurt person acting like a hurt person.

But God never fails to find a way to remind me of who I am, what He’s done for me, and what my purpose is…

Something caused me to question, while I was talking to God: ‘Am I a victim?’

To which I thought my answer was ‘yes.’

I can make a case for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse spanning over 10 years of my life. I was victimized and, at some points, also a victimizer.

As I began to re-justify the reasons I was having these negative thoughts as a result of my being a victim of these atrocities when I felt and heard Christ Himself speak right through my own heart –

He said, “Samantha, why are you acting like a victim when I have made you a conqueror?”

Shot right through the heart. He blows me away…

I was acting fearful, even though He says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

I was acting hurt, even though He promised, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.” (Revelation 21:4)

I was acting insecure and unloved, even though I know God says, “You are precious and honored in my sight, and… I love you” (Isaiah 43:4)

I was acting like the old me, even though He told me, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I was acting like a victim when His Word cries out, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

Oh, how wrong I was…

It was really with that last scriptural realization it was like a veil was torn and I knew that not only does God wipe away our transgressions, but He wipes away the transgressions that have been committed against us that have left us with scars as well. He doesn’t just erase what we’ve done; He also erases what’s been done to us.

I am not a victim anymore. As of the day I accepted Christ, I AM A CONQUEROR in His Name! The enemy will come at me one way with all of that hurt and pain and old baggage but in the presence of my God who’s Holy Spirit dwells within me, God says He will flee seven ways! (Deuteronomy 28:25).

I am not afraid – I am not a victim – and I am certainly not who I used to be.

Hurts and scars that come from abuse are real and they are tough. Every counselor in the world will tell you there’s no magic trick out there to wipe away the pain – but there is. And this time of year is perfect to remember or even ask questions and learn just how it happened and what sacrifice Christ paid for that magic trick to be available to you.

One in every two women before the age of, I believe, twenty-one will know my pain or worse, so if you’re in that place, you are not alone, sister. Take heart and have hope because Christ is fighting for you, for your heart, and for your freedom from pain. I pray today that you accept Christ into your heart and allow Him to love you and just let God’s truth heal you. It won’t happen overnight, each season of life will bring a new level and depth to your healing, but it will work like nothing you’ve ever tried before. Commit His word and His promises to memory and write them on your heart because His love is lavish and He wants you to know it well. Invite Him in and allow Him to re-mold your heart and redefine your life. Alone, we’ll survive it, but with Jesus, we THRIVE, ladies. Let Him make you new! Be the conqueror He died to make you!

With Christ, what have YOU conquered? Please share thoughts and comments below!

About the Author :

Samantha Grey is a story-teller by nature, currently navigating marriage, motherhood, and ministry. She is an avid coffee drinker and writes… a lot. Samantha loves Jesus, being an artist, and sharing love and truth through her ministry, the be.you.ty project, for which she is the founder and photographer. She also sings and wears leggings without shame because the life Jesus died for is a joyfully abundant one.

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The Two-Way Street

Prayer is such a simple word that we claim as a simple thing to do. However, when it comes down to it, prayer is one of the things that many of us struggle with the most.

But why?

When I was a little girl, I learned a prayer that would become one of repetition for years to come.

"As I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take."

I do not think there is any possible way that I could forget this prayer even if I tried. To you, it may sound like a prayer you hear children recite in a horror movie advertisement, but to me it's a prayer that changed my world. I don't remember how old I was when I learned it, all I can remember is laying down to bed every night growing up and making sure I said my prayers before I went to sleep.

I also remember rushing this prayer. A 4 line prayer out of my 24 hour day, and I rushed it. I can tell you now that the reason I rushed it was because after years and years of saying it, I realized I wasn't getting thing out of it. I was tired of having a repetitive prayer life. It was dry and I was thirsty. I wanted to say more, but I didn't know how to get it.

I also didn't truly understand the meaning behind prayer at this time either. As a young girl, all I knew was that it was good for me to talk to God. Once I realized how tired of praying I had become I felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over me. And at this time in my life, instead of figuring out how to make my prayer life thrive, I let it wither as I walked away from it. I took the easy way out. Besides, I figured that God was upset with me since I didn't know what else to say to Him. I told myself that I wasn't good enough since I didn't have all the right words He expected to hear from me.

And as I write this ten years later, the only thing I feel shamed and embarrassed about is ever assuming that the God I just described to you is the God we serve.

The reason that we struggle so often with prayer is because it's a discipline. The word is simple, but getting into the habit of it not easy. In order to properly thrive through prayer, we must be intentional about our prayer lives and hold ourselves accountable to them. Now, hear me when I say that I am not calling prayer a task. A discipline requires extra time and attention in order to make it something that naturally becomes a part of our everyday lives. Prayer is a spiritual discipline, and we must be attentive to its need.

Now, some of you may be reading this and thinking, "I know this, but one thing I really don't have a clear understanding of is how to pray." I don't want to be that girl who tells you that prayer is simply talking to God, but that's exactly what it is. There are, however, many outlets that you can use in order to see your prayer life blossom in a multitude of ways, and I want to share with you some of the outlets of which I am talking about.

We use prayer to connect with God in ways we wouldn't be able to anywhere else simply because the communication experienced through prayer is a type of communication that cannot be experienced anywhere else.

If your prayer life is feeling a little dry or, if you are open to exploring different outlets, I encourage you to try a few, if not all of the following:

1) Lectio Divina- Latin for "Divine Reading," lectio divina is a practice of prayer that will have quite the impact on your prayer life if you allow it to. There are four steps to this prayer.

The first, reading (lectio). Choose a passage of Scripture and read it at a slow enough pace that will allow you to reflect on it. Allow the Word to sink into you. Hold on to a word or phrase that sticks out to you in the reading.

The second stage of this prayer practice is reflection (meditatio). Use this time to think about the word or phrase that stuck out to you. Really meditate on this and think about why it stuck out to you, what it meant then, and what it means to you now. How does this word or phrase apply to you today?

The third stage of lectio divina is response (oratio). This stage is dedicated to clearing our inmost thoughts as much as we possibly can in order to allow the Word of God that you have just taken in to touch and change you. Let the Word transform you.

Finally, the fourth stage of lectio divina is rest (contemplatio). This stage is meant for you to not only rest in God's presence, but for you to find enjoyment and comfort as you soothe yourself in His presence as well. Enjoy a time of wordless, quiet rest in the presence of the One who delights in you every moment of every day.

2) A Prayer of Thanksgiving- If you enjoy counting your blessings, this is a great prayer practice for you! Count your blessings out loud to God and thank Him for each and every one of them. Thank God for Who He is, what He's done, what He's doing, and what He is going to do.

3) Meditation- Are you a deep thinker? Take your thoughts to the next level by keeping your entire focus on them for a solid amount of time. Meditate on these thoughts as you allow the Spirit to guide you through them.

4) Intercession Prayer- Have you ever just randomly thought of someone? I know I have. Next time that happens, consider that this person might have been placed on your heart for a reason. Say a prayer for them. Pray a blessing over their life. Take the time to pray for the important people in your life more often. Take the time to pray for the unfamiliar faces you pass everyday. I love reading Paul's prayer to the Ephesians over my family and friends. It's a beautiful prayer of spiritual growth, and I encourage you to read it over your family and friends as well. You can find this prayer in Ephesians 3:14-21. The New Living Translation version of this prayer is my favorite.

5) Praise and Worship- This is my all time favorite practice of prayer. The most meaningful encounters that I have experienced with God have, for the most part, been received through worship. I'm at my most vulnerable when I do worship my Creator, and He holds me as I shout praise to Him.

There are so many types of prayer that you can experiment with. These are just a few that I hope you can find enjoyment in.

One thing that I want to remind you of is this: Prayer is a two-way street. Too often do we do more than enough talking and not enough listening. I want to challenge you to spend time resting in God's presence and listening for what He has to say. Let Him speak to your heart.Sometimes God just needs us to be still and know, so do not stress yourself if you don't hear anything. Still listen and have hope that the Lord can speak and pierce through your life, because He can and He will. Believe the Father is good as you sit, listen, and wait for a spiritual exchange to take place.

Prayer allows us to see through the lens of Christ. Enjoy an ongoing conversation with the God who remains by your side now and will remain by your side always. Use this God-given gift to its fullest extent and be abundantly blessed, ladies.

"Constant prayer will only 'burden' us as wings burden the bird in flight." -Dallas Willard

About the Author :

Emily Townsend is a 20 year old southern girl who has a heart for loving Jesus, loving others, and serving the world. She is currently pursuing a career in ministry as she continues to fall madly in love with Jesus by the day. Emily is also obsessed with books, coffee, koalas, Pinterest, Pilates, and weddings. Her daily dose of life consists of a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus. You can also find her blogging on her personal blog The Joy of My Joy.

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Sober in Heart and Mind

Quite often when people think of the word sober they correlate it to the word alcohol. But sobriety is much bigger than just than being free from the bondage of alcohol.

Do you know what it means to be sober in heart and mind?

It means that you are clear, and present.

It means you are free in heart and mind to make a decision, even when uneasy, that will benefit not only you but others around you.

It means that there is a lit pathway that allows us to see ahead of us. Although we are not able to see everything that is to come, we have a level of clarity and focus that keeps us prepared for what we can control.

It is important to understand how what feeds our lives, affects our lives. There are a lot of instances where we do not see what we nourish ourselves with as being significant; but eventually there is a physical manifestation of all that we have devoured. Whatever we take into our hearts and minds affects our entire bodies.

We are on display and a daily representation or reminder of what we choose to prioritize first in our lives.

“No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. (Luke 11:33-34 ESV)

It is hard to be conscious of the choses we make when we are not sober. The true difficulty comes about when we try to decipher between what is real and how we feel about what is real.

Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. (Luke 11:35 ESV)

One time I shared with my dance students that a lot of times we hear a song, and react to it based on how it makes us feel; and the emotions it triggers. When we do this it is harder for us to hear what is really happening in the music. It is hard for us to hear all of the intricate parts that have come together to create a particular piece of music. In turn it makes it difficult for me to teach the choreography that correlates to the song because when I play the music, people are not hearing the song, they are hearing how it makes them feel.

This too can happen while reading the bible. We read and interpret according to how we feel about what we have read and then we end up missing the true message that the Holy Spirit is trying to share with us.

When we are only hearing from our feelings, we are not hearing the message of faith that is being shared with us; and the only way we can hear in faith, is when we are ready to hear the message.

You have to be available, sober, and present in order to be a light and a message; to be a vessel and tell a story, or even your story.

If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.” (Luke 11:35, 36 ESV)

Being able to be sober, live life, and share who you are created to be with the world is not always a smooth ride. It can be very hard because we each have something unique to offer the world through our lives. It is a constant journey of learning and development.

I am learning to be sober so that I can be available to have a relationship with God.

I am learning to be sober so that I can really hear and listen deeply to the truth of what is rather than only my perception.

I am learning how to be sober, so that God can utilize all that He has placed within me.

I am learning to be sober in my relationships with others, as well as myself.

This does not mean that you ignore what you feel. Emotions and feelings are a gift from God; but we do have to be careful of what we indulge ourselves in.

If we are not aware of what is true, then we will not understand what is really real apart from how we feel.

When we are constantly riding through a sea of emotions without focus or clarity, we are lacking the stability that allows to function in beneficial ways.

About the Author :

Francine E. Ott is truly thankful to have a relationship with God and is seeking Him daily for guidance and any opportunities to walk closer with Him in truth and love. Francine is a choreographer/dancer, teacher, and soon to be counselor who has a heart to see God's transforming power, renew, restore, and heal the minds, souls, and bodies of people's lives.

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Beautifully Broken

There is an ancient Japanese art called Kintsugi, which means "golden joinery" or "to patch with gold". It is the practice of mending broken pottery by filling in the cracks with a sticky resin that hardens as it dries. The piece is then buffed and the cracks sealed with a lacquer that contains real gold.

Once a piece of pottery has gone through this process, it is more valuable and beautiful than before. Though it was once broken, not fit for use and unable to serve its purpose, the same piece has been transformed into a stunning masterpiece.

Usually in our society, when something is broken, we discard it because we consider it to be useless.

But, when it comes to God, brokenness is beautiful to Him. Because once something is broken before Him, only then is it ready and prepared for the Master's use. After being broken, we can then be made whole.

God sometimes allows us to experience and go through things that will cause us to be emptied of every trace of self. Self-righteousness. Self-dependence. Self-Will. Pride. The list goes on.

Anything that points to yourself and not to God is a major hindrance to His plans and purposes for your life. So, in His infinite wisdom, He allows us to go through, what many Christians call "the process". The process is simply a time of God refining you. It's God's way of removing everything that is not like Him and causing us to walk in an absolute place of utter dependence on Him. During the process, God is emptying you of you and filling you with Himself.

And after the process, you are an even more effective instrument in the hand of God, because God used the time of testing, to empty you of you and fill you with Himself.

Yes, times of testing, which produce brokenness, are not easy. But what God does in our hearts is priceless.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4 NKJV)

I don't know about many of you, but honestly, joy is not the emotion that first comes to mind when I think about trials and testing.

But, despite how painful they may be, I know that God is working in me, during those difficult moments, to make me complete and, to show me who He is.

He wants us, during the most difficult times, to look beyond what we may be going through, and see Him with eyes of faith.

He's seeking to show us who He is in those moments. He's seeking to show us that He alone is our everything. We are so incomplete without Him.

I love hearing and reading about Job from the bible. He lost his family and everything he owned. But he never lost his trust in God. And, after he endured a season of great testing, he was able to say,

“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You." (Job 42:5 NKJV)

After the tests and trials, Job saw the God He had heard about with his ears in a whole new way. Now, He saw Him through eyes of faith.

Job also understood that the tests he endured served a greater purpose.

“But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold." (Job 23:10 NLT)

He understood that when this season was over, he would be refined, purified and beautiful because he endured brokenness.

Embrace what God is doing in your life. Even the difficult things. And trust that, as Job said, you will come out as pure gold.

Others may look at you as God is allowing brokenness and say, "Awww, poor baby". It may even appear ugly to you. But to God, your brokenness is beautiful.

Let's Pray:

Father, help me to remember that you are the God who knows the end from the beginning. And that you are doing something so beautiful in my life even when it's difficult. Thank you for grace to trust You daily. Amen.

About the Author :

Pastor Pamela Bell is a passionate, lover of God, who desires to see God's people walk in the knowledge of who they are in Christ. She resides in Mobile, AL and serves as an Elder at her church, Gulf Coast Christian Center. Pastor Pamela enjoys reading, spending time with friends and all things chocolate.

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When the Plot Twists

My family relocated five months ago to our dream location, a coastal town with the best church in the universe and the prettiest shells and sea you could hope for…or at least that’s the way we see it. But our circumstances are so far out of our control and less than ideal that it has tested us more than I ever expected.

My husband had this longing to be by the ocean, not unlike most of us, but his longing seemed to come from a calling set on his heart from God. Packing up and moving wasn’t as simple as doing just that, we had a house to sell, I had recently opened up a business of my own, our daughter was just over a year old and nearly all of both of our families had settled into the city we were in. The roller coaster of decision was so hard on its own, and even though the calling seemed clear, the timing and details were so uncertain. Everyone around us thought we were crazy, and to be honest I was pretty sure they were right.

About six months after we made the decision to move, when the opportunity presented itself, my husband received a job offer that opened the door. However, they needed him immediately, so we packed up everything and moved in just less than three weeks’ time. At the time, I was certain that I was going to be admitted into an institution, but by the Grace of God we made it to our new residence.

Three days later, the job didn’t work out. The next job he got didn’t work out. And then he was unemployed for two months. I was angry. I was so bitter that the bottom had fallen out of our dream plan. OUR PLAN. I found my heart was so heavily burdened with resentment and the closest and easiest person to blame was my husband. I convinced myself that these decisions and choices that had landed us in this predicament were all made by him and I was just going along with them out of submission. I didn’t vocalize these things at first, and by the time I did it had festered into an ultimatum in my heart. ‘Either he fixes this, or I’m out.’ That’s what I thought.

I can’t believe I’ve actually just typed that out and admitted it to anyone. But it is the truth.

By the time I talked to my husband about these issues, there wasn’t much love or grace left in my approach. The hardness of my heart came at him like a brick. And as you can imagine, he was already feeling like he had let our family down. My accusations and ultimatums did nothing to build him up, and only tore him down further weighing heavily on the threads that were holding our marriage together.

BUT GOD. There is no explanation I can give for the change in my heart other than those two words.

We were living smack dab in the middle of the consequences of our decisions. For so many years, we had chosen to act now and think later when it came to major choices and changes. We ran and jumped and jived as long as we could but when we landed here in our “dream location” God showed us that there was nowhere left to run. And despite it all, we were exactly where we were supposed to be. He has orchestrated event after event that have given us confirmation time and time again that we are right where he wants us.

My husband ended up with a job that he loves, and though we are still struggling in major ways, I know that this has strengthened our relationship with each other and more importantly with The Lord. Our daughter is happier than I have ever seen her. We are more stressed than I think we have ever been, yet I have a supernatural peace that I simply cannot put into words.

Stressing, worrying, freaking out and trying so hard to control things serves no purpose other than distracting attention from the Glory of God. No matter the situation, no matter how desperate and impossible it seems, He will always make a way for His Will to be done. I know that in the midst of this major storm we’re living in, He hasn’t left us and hasn’t forgotten about us. He has a plan. It’s obviously very intricate and complex, but that’s nothing for Him!

“God also allows suffering so that we might learn what it means to depend on Him, not on our own strength and resources.” - Charles Swindoll

“What God Originates, He Orchestrates. How is never a problem with God.” - Andy Stanley

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

About the Author :

Emilee Lowe is a Christ following wife and mother who lives in Wilmington, North Carolina. She is a former hair stylist who is committed to being used by God in whatever way He sees fit.

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